Title: Two Pairing: Ryan/Colin Rating: G/PG Summary: Not even the slightest clue how to summarize this other than to say that it is the product of my sleep-deprived mind! It had been two months since I last saw him. Two agonizing months. I still saw his face in my dreams. I saw that look.....shock, horror, I don't know? I saw his face when I told him. Told my friend of two decades that I was in love with him. Two eyes widened, two feet stepped away, and two lips parted. "I....I, uh, I need some time." "Goodbye Ryan." Two words that broke me. He had walked out. I watched him leave, unable to speak, unable to breathe, in fact. Part of me died that day. Two times I'd tried to call, but he wouldn't answer. I had consciously harbored these feelings for the last two years, but I'm sure they'd always been there. A lifetime shared by two friends, shattered in two seconds because one of them couldn't be satisfied. How could I have been so stupid? And now I was going to see him again. A new season, a new chance to make magic, but was the magic gone? Two more hours. I paced the green room. What could I say? I still loved him. I still wanted him. Fortunately Drew showed up, calling me to take care of producer duties and giving me an excuse to forget. Two minutes. I walked to the stage, butterflies in my stomach for the first time in years. How would this go? The others didn't know, would it be obvious? I guess the best I could have hoped for was that there wouldn't be too many 'Ryan and Colin' games. Ryan and Colin. Two names that were rarely uttered without each other..... Two more steps. I rounded the corner and stepped into the studio. All eyes fell on me, but two eyes studied the floor. My eyes closed, I took a deep breath and walked across the stage and up the two steps to my seat. Two hours passed. So far, so good. It hadn't been horrible. Even 'Greatest Hits' had an old familiar banter. But it had all been safe....no crossing lines, no trademark 'Ryan and Colin'. My mind hadn't been there at all. I honestly couldn't remember a single thing anyone had said all night. Well, anyone except Colin. I remembered every word that had passed his lips. Two times I'd caught his eyes, but he looked away. There was something in his eyes......fear? For the first time in as long as I could remember, I couldn't read my best friend. And finally Drew announced the final game. 'Helping Hands' What?!?! I couldn't believe it. I wasn't ready for that. I stood and crossed the stage as Drew explained the scene. I closed my eyes as two arms wrapped around me from behind. I reached my arms tentatively around his back, allowing as much space between us as possible. As the scene began, his arms worked to keep up with my dialogue. I hadn't the slightest idea what I was saying, concentrating only on the warm breathing I could feel behind me. As Colin fed me something, he placed two fingertips to my lips and lightly brushed them. I swallowed back the gasp threatening to escape my mouth. Moments later I felt two lips gently press to the back of my neck. I was instantly on fire. My mind was reeling and my body was responding. I tightened my hold around his back and delighted in the feel of his chest pressed against my back. I could then feel the rise and fall with each breath and nothing was more pure and beautiful. And then it ended. I felt Colin step back and pull from my arms and realized that Drew's buzzer was sounding. We returned to our seats and try as I might to catch his gaze, he had returned to studying the floor. The taping ended and I returned to my trailer. I wanted more than anything to find Colin and ask him for an explanation. He was my friend after all. He wouldn't do things like that, knowing what he knows, willingly taunting and hurting me......would he? A knock brought me out of my daze. "You there?" Colin asked timidly. Two words I couldn't respond to, and I remained silent. He opened the door, finding me sitting with my face in my hands. I looked up, trying not to hold too much hope in my eyes as he sat and reached across the table, taking my hand into his two strong hands. "Ryan, I am in love with you too." Two months of pain and heartache melted away instantly at those few simple words. Tears I didn't even know I had fell from my eyes as he rose and walked around the table to bend before me. His thumbs wiped away two tears as he took my face in his hands and kissed me. The most glorious and pure kiss of my entire life. Tenatively he began to unbutton my shirt. Two hours passed. I laid in the cool dark of the trailer, watching the sleeping form in my arms. There would be a lot to talk about tomorrow, but tonight was about two lives, two friends, two bodies, two hearts, two souls......... .....becoming one. ** fin (10/7/05)