The Whose Line Stage Manager/Babysitter Schedule I wrote this in Algebra today while I was bored. Ships included are Ryan/Colin, and a mention of Brad/Wayne. Also, male pregnancy. So if that's not your thing, look away. 6:30 A.M: Get up, drive to studio 7:00 A.M: Detach Ryan & Colin from each other 7:15 A.M: Pay off Fangirl Mafia to not publish raunchy Ryan/Colin photos 7:30 A.M: Pump fatty foods into Drew’s formaldehyde tank 8:00 – 9:15 A.M: Avoid ABC execs 9:30 A.M: Explain to Wayne that you can’t get donuts because you need to see the prop people 9:32 – 9:35 A.M: Run down to the Krispy Kreme 9:36 A.M: Refuse to get more donuts 9:40 A.M: Convince prop people to make better props 9:55 A.M: Explain to Dan Patterson that the show doesn’t need a purpose 10:00 A.M: Brad’s Jazzercise class 10:30 A.M: Drive back to studio 10:43 A.M: Detach Ryan & Colin again 11:00 A.M: Chase away fangirls at entrance 11:05 A.M: Fill 5,000 pitchers of water (just in case) 11:15 A.M: Meetings with censors to explain that they can’t do reshoots, attempt to stop Ryan from killing them 11:30 A.M: Hide censor’s bodies 11:45 A.M: Remove waste from Drew’s tank 12:00 A.M: Lunch 12:05 A.M: Lunch over 12:10 A.M: Take chairs to chair-laundering place 12:20 A.M: Lure fangirl away from Greg’s dressing room w/ picture of Ryan & Colin obtained from Fangirl Mafia 12:35 A.M: Call security on fangirl’s ass 12:43 A.M: Detach Ryan & Colin again 1:00 P.M: Fangirls Anonymous meeting 1:30 P.M: Return to studio, listen to repeated chant of “Whadja bring me? Whadja bring me?” from Brad & Chip 1:45 P.M: Hand clean stage 1:50 – 2:00 P.M: Test buzzer/doorbell 2:05 P.M: Make Chip a sammich 2:20 P.M: Accidentally walk in on Brad and Wayne 2:25 P.M: Makeout session w/ Jeff 2:40 P.M: Attempt to get funny celebrities to appear on the show 2:45 P.M: Call back Pauly Shore and explain to him that he is neither funny nor a celebrity 3:00 P.M: Secret viewings of the “Boa Constictor” game 3:30 P.M: Feed Drew again 3:40 P.M: Yell at Ryan & Colin to stop making out in the hallways 3:45 P.M: Shave Colin’s head 4:00 P.M: Buy more tacky shoes for Ryan 4:15 P.M: Supervise audience seating cleanup crew 4:40 P.M: Explain to Dan Patterson where babies come from 4:41 P.M: Stunned silence when Dan says Colin is pregnant with Ryan’s baby 4:45 P.M: Ask Colin about pregnancy 5:00 P.M: Buy maternity clothes despite self 5:15 P.M: Dispose of waste from Drew’s tank 5:30 P.M: Epic war with the cast of Friends 6:00 P.M: Nap 6:01 P.M: Be immediately awakened by Brad 6:03 P.M: Complain 6:30 P.M: Awaken Drew from tank 6:35 P.M: Detach Ryan & Colin again 6:40 P.M: Help Colin think of baby names, wonder to self how the baby will come out 7:00 P.M: Crowd control w/ tazer 7:05 P.M: Distract cops w/ leftover donuts 7:30 P.M: Discipline makeup people for writing “I Banged Colin” on Ryan’s face in everlast-lipcolor 8:00 P.M: Show begins 8:15 P.M: Taser spies from Friends 10:00 P.M: Show ends 10:30 P.M: Afterparty, make out w/ Jeff in a corner 10:45 P.M: Put Drew back in the tank 10:50 P.M: Attempt to muffle noise emanating from Ryan & Colin’s dressing room 11:00 – 11:30 P.M: Worker’s Union meeting 12:00 P.M: Hot sex w/ Jeff 12:30 P.M: Hot sex over, sleep The end.