Parallel By Kalimyre Rating: NC-17 Pairing: Multiple... sort of. Summary: A `Whose Line' and `Drew Carey Show' crossover. What would happen if Colin got to meet Eugene, and Ryan got to meet Lewis? Authors Notes: Thanks go out to Kim, who inspired this story with her `Crossing the Line' fic. Parallel was written with her permission and encouragement---thanks! Also, thanks to xfphile, who badgered me relentlessly for each and every word of this story and provided the ever valuable outside perspective, as well as her usual efficient and complete beta. And of course, Lori, who I send my stories to just because she reviews so enthusiastically and because she gives great comments and suggestions. And now, on with the story! * * * PARALLEL "You know, you've got a butt as cute as a cupcake." Ryan fought back a smile, even though he knew that the cameras were focusing on Drew's conversation with Diedrich. Colin was smiling up at him, his eyes dancing as he watched Ryan try not to laugh. They were in the living room section of the house set during filming for the first Drew Live show, and they were having a blast. Just a few minutes earlier, Colin had made it through his on-screen kiss with Drew, a fact that was still making him slightly flushed with embarrassment under his stage make-up. Ryan grinned wickedly at his friend of more than twenty years and checked the cameras out of the corner of his eye. They were all still focused on Drew and Diedrich and Ryan knew that his cue to move forward and join their conversation would come up quickly, but in the meantime, he could tease his friend. Pitching his voice low enough to avoid the audio mikes overhead, Ryan murmured, "Yeah, I know, and guess where I keep the frosting." Colin's eyes sparkled with laughter but he kept his expression carefully schooled, knowing that even if they couldn't be heard, they could be seen. And Ryan's character was supposed to be turning `Eugene's' advances down. So he tried to look troubled, but his lips twitched ever so slightly. Then they heard Drew say, "Well, I guess I better go tell Eugene that it's all over between us." That was Ryan's cue, and he walked toward his co-stars, leaving Colin looking after him with a carefully fashioned expression of disappointment. "Eugene just told me I've got a butt like a cupcake," Ryan said, pulling his face into a look of disgust. The live audience crowed their approval, but Drew frowned. "That bitch!" he said indignantly, his eyes laughing behind the thick black prop glasses he wore for the show. "And we're out!" the director called, waving a hand. "Two minutes, everyone." The actors all relaxed slightly, turning to grin at each other. Colin caught Ryan's eyes and smiled, and then deliberately wiped at his mouth, shivering. Ryan chuckled and took a step toward his old friend, even though he knew he was supposed to be going to the kitchen set to get ready for the game of Helping Hands they had scheduled next. And then it happened. The overhead lights dimmed, brightened, and dimmed again, and the low level buzzing they emitted rose to a level that made Ryan's teeth ache. He could see Colin frowning and looking up at the array of lighting and sound equipment that was over their heads, and then the lights went out completely. Ryan suddenly felt dizzy, and he automatically put a hand out to steady himself. Earthquake? he thought in confusion, feeling the ground seem to shift subtly beneath his feet. Then the lights suddenly came back up and he looked around, blinking. "What the fuck was that?" Drew asked, pulling his glasses off and scrubbing at his eyes. "Is everyone okay?" A general chorus of "Yeah" answered him, but Ryan didn't join in. He felt distinctly odd. His stomach was doing strange, cold, unsteady things, and his skin kept tightening into chills. The feeling was subsiding, though, and he shook himself, trying to get his bearings. He could hear the crowd murmuring curiously and he turned, looking at them. They looked the same, as did the camera equipment, the set, and his fellow actors. Everything looked the same, except--- "Hey, where's Colin?" "What? He's right over... hey... where IS Colin?" Drew said, turning in a slow circle. The Canadian had been there only moments before, but now the place where he had been standing was empty. Ryan took a step in that direction, and was surprised to see what looked like two very large shoes sticking out from behind the couch. A flutter of disquiet landed in his belly, and Ryan hesitated, shaking his head slowly. No way... absolutely not, he thought. That is *not* what I think it is. But it was. Ryan let his gaze move from the huge sneakers up the long legs, past the narrow hips, one of which was draped with a very big hand, up the chest, to a face that was both very familiar and very strange. Ryan was looking at himself. The same clothes, the same body, the same face. Like looking in a mirror. Except his reflection wasn't standing with a gaping jaw and wide eyes, he was lying on his side, apparently either sleeping or unconscious. "Ryan? What are you looking at?" Diedrich asked, frowning at how pale his friend was getting. Unable to speak, Ryan only pointed with one shaking hand, and the others all gathered around to see what he was looking at. "Holy fuck," Drew said, raising his eyebrows. The crowd tittered, and they realized that their voices were still being picked up and amplified by the sound system. Drew made a quick cutting gesture with his fingers across his throat, and in the control room, Robert Borden, the director, hit the kill switches. All the little indicator lights on the cameras went off, and the low level feedback hum of the sound system dropped away to nothing. That was when Lewis woke up. His head hurt and he felt dizzy, and he wasn't sure why he was lying on the floor behind Drew's couch. "What the hell?" he muttered, rubbing his eyes. "What was I drinking?" "He even sounds like me," a very familiar voice said, and Lewis' eyes snapped open. He stared warily at all the people standing over him. He recognized most of them---Drew, Oswald, Kate, and... no. It couldn't be. "Who are you?" Lewis asked, pulling himself into a seated position on the floor. "I think that's my line," Ryan replied weakly, taking an involuntary step back. His double only blinked at him and slowly rose to his feet. They looked each other in the eyes, something of a strange experience for both of them, since they were used to looking down at everyone. Lewis narrowed his eyes against the bright stage lights, rubbing at the beat of pain in his temples. He still felt sick and dizzy, but he was starting to realize it wasn't a hangover. Drew's house looked just like it usually did---until he looked toward what TV set designers call the `fourth wall.' Instead of a wall, there was a wide space, cameras, wires trailing everywhere, and a whole lot of people he didn't know. Behind them, there was an audience that was chattering in confusion and excitement. "What's going on here?" Lewis muttered, rubbing his eyes. He kept one hand against the back of the couch for support; his knees felt weak and watery. His eyes wanted to turn back to the man who looked just like him, but every time he looked at that strange, familiar face, his stomach churned unsteadily and he had to look away again. "Good question," Christa said, crossing her arms across her chest and looking back and forth between Ryan and Lewis. "Ryan? Do you have a brother or something?" "I have three brothers," Ryan said absently, still staring at the man who was his reflection. "But none of them are twins." Just then, Bruce Helford came out on stage, walking in a way that tried to look calm and casual but failed completely. "Drew," he hissed, tugging at the star's arm to get his attention. "We're *live,* remember?" "We were almost done," Drew said, looking distractedly at Bruce. "Can't you just run some old dance clips or something?" "No, we can't," Bruce said impatiently. "Right now you're supposed to be doing an improv game with Ryan, Diedrich and Brad on the kitchen set, and that's what the cameras are set up to get. We're broadcasting an empty set right now. I don't know what's going on with this guy," he said, waving vaguely at Lewis, "but *somebody* needs to get on that set and do something funny for a minute or so." "Uh... okay, okay... Dee, Wayne, Christa, go in the kitchen and do something," Drew said, ushering his co-stars toward the set. "What are we supposed to do?" Diedrich asked, walking toward the kitchen but twisting his body to look at Ryan and Lewis. "Ask Bruce," Drew replied quickly, ducking the dirty look that his co- producer gave him. "We only have about ninety seconds to fill; you guys can come up with something for that amount of time, right?" Bruce asked worriedly, herding the three performers into the kitchen set. Wayne, the most experienced improv performer of the three, was nodding confidently, and that seemed to reassure the others. They all trooped off to the kitchen, taking most of the crew with them, leaving only Drew, Ryan, and a few others staring at Lewis. "Let's get him off the stage," Kathy Kinney said quietly, and Lewis looked at her sharply. "Mimi? You're... you're acting funny," he said suspiciously. Kathy exchanged a look with Drew, and then smiled gently at Lewis. "I'm not Mimi, honey, I just look like her. Are you all right? You look like you're not feeling too well." Lewis shrugged, casting a confused glance at the woman who looked like Mimi but didn't act like her. He was still feeling decidedly woozy, but his stomach was beginning to settle. The hot stage lights made him wipe sweat from his forehead, and he noticed that his double didn't have to do that. Narrowing his eyes, Lewis realized that the guy who looked just like him was wearing makeup. Light and natural looking, but makeup nonetheless. "What the hell?" he muttered, shaking his head. "I must be having some kind of crazy dream." Ryan laughed weakly. "Yeah, you and me both. But Kathy's right---we need to get off the stage." The audience laughed suddenly, and they all looked toward the kitchen, where Wayne, Diedrich and Christa were playing Alphabet. Ryan thought wryly that it was only fitting, since Bruce had said they had about ninety seconds to fill. With the crowd focusing on the lighted kitchen set, it was a simple matter for Drew, Ryan and Kathy to guide the confused and stumbling Lewis backstage and into a dressing room. Lewis sank into a chair and put his face in his hands, obviously still suffering from a headache. Ryan brought a hand to his temple, wondering crazily if his headache was an echo of the other man's. After all, they were the same person... weren't they? "Who are you?" Ryan asked, perching on the side of a small table. Lewis looked up warily. "I'm not telling aliens anything," he said, glaring around at everyone. "Aliens?" Kathy asked, raising her heavily made up eyebrows. She was still in her full Mimi-guise, complete with garish clothes and over the top makeup. "Yeah. I saw the fake Drew's house out there. What's the plan? You're gonna replace me with this clone and that out there was his place to practice being me?" Lewis asked, waving a hand at Ryan. Ryan and Drew exchanged a look. "Uh... Lewis?" Drew asked tentatively, putting a hand on the taller man's shoulder. Lewis looked at him sharply, and then his gaze softened. "Are you the real Drew?" he asked in a pitiful whisper. "Did they get you too?" The poor man was obviously confused and frightened, and Drew sighed, patting his back. "Yeah, I'm the real Drew," he said slowly. "But I'm not the Drew you know." "Wait a minute here," Ryan interrupted, shaking his head. "What exactly are you saying?" "Isn't it obvious?" Drew replied. "This is Lewis. You know, from the show." Ryan stared at the shorter man, his jaw hanging open. "Uh, Drew, in case you forgot, *I'm* Lewis." "No, you *play* him," Drew insisted. "This is the genuine article." "But it's just a TV show," Kathy said, frowning. "Well... okay, yeah, but how else do you explain it?" Drew turned to Lewis, who was watching the whole exchange with growing perplexity. He looked like a lost child. "Your name is Lewis Kiniski, right? Lewis Michaelangelo Kiniski?" "How did you know that?" he asked breathlessly. "I made that name up! I made *you* up. Well, me and Bruce. And I don't know how, but you're here." "This is crazy," Ryan said, running a hand through his hair, but Lewis was actually starting to nod slowly. "Let me get this straight," he began, cocking his head and holding one long finger up. "I'm a character... on a TV show? And you play me?" he asked, pointing at Ryan. "Yeah..." Ryan said slowly, narrowing his eyes. "And you play Drew?" he asked, turning to the shorter man. "Right..." "And you play Mimi?" Lewis continued, addressing Kathy. "That's right," she said, nodding automatically. "And you were all out there, making the show, when I showed up?" The other three nodded, and Lewis actually smiled, closing his hands into fists and tucking them under his chin in a gesture that was unmistakably excited. "Then I've got it!" he said, grinning up at them. "It was a simple matter of parallel universes coinciding at a weak point in the space time continuum, and since we were all in the exact same place at the same time, I was pulled through." They blinked at him, and Ryan covered his eyes with one hand, groaning and slumping his shoulders. "What?" Lewis asked defensively. "You've got a better explanation?" "That was an explanation?" Ryan asked, raising an eyebrow. "It sounded like a bunch of Star Trek gobbledegook." Lewis sighed impatiently. "Look, it's like this. In your universe, you're making a show, right? A show that has me and Drew and Oswald and Kate in it. And for you, it's not real. But for me, in my universe, it's real. So while you're playing it, I'm living it. And we were doing both at the exact same time, in the same places, and the barrier between our universes was thin. And somehow, I got pulled through." "Oh, of course, why didn't I see that?" Drew asked, pulling his glasses off for a moment and rubbing tiredly at his eyes. Lewis ignored the sarcasm. "There are a few things that confuse me though," he said, frowning. "Only a few?" Ryan asked dryly. Lewis flapped a hand at him. "For one thing, people actually want to watch a TV show about Cleveland? What's it called?" Drew smiled weakly. "The Drew Carey Show." Lewis looked at him skeptically. "Are you kidding me?" "We're actually pretty popular," Kathy said, patting Drew on the back. Lewis looked at her, and then did a double take at the friendly, supportive way she was touching Drew. It was just so damn *strange* to see someone who looked like Mimi acting that way. "Right... well, okay, that's beside the point," Lewis said dismissively. "What really confuses me is the matter of being pulled through to this universe." "Yeah, that one is confusing me too," Ryan said, his hand still covering his eyes. His headache was a steady, dull pulse of pain. He felt like a steel mesh net was being thrown over his brain and then slowly tightened, sinking into the soft tissue with inexorable pressure. Lewis shook his head. "No, no, it's not the transfer itself. They did that back in the sixties, on episode number seventy-four of Star Trek, The Original Series. `Dark Mirror.' Don't you remember? Kirk, Spock, and McCoy all got pulled through to the alternate universe because their counterparts were in the same place, at the same time, and the fabric of space-time was momentarily weakened." "Oh, well if it was on Star Trek, then of course it must be true," Ryan said, his voice dripping with sarcasm. Lewis stood, crossing his arms and glaring at Ryan. "Look, if you're me, then you would *know* this stuff---" "I'm not you!" Ryan snapped. "I *play* you, don't you get that? I'm an actor and a comedian; you're a janitor. I have a wife, and you make up girlfriends. I have two kids, and you have a `thinking spot' at DrugCo that basically made having kids impossible for you. And I don't watch Star Trek, okay?" Lewis blinked, taken aback. "You have a family? Really? What... do you have any pictures?" The irritation melted off Ryan's face as he saw the genuine wistfulness in his double's eyes. "Yeah," he said softly. "I have pictures. And I'll show them to you if you like, but for now, can we please figure out why you're here?" Lewis nodded slowly, sinking back into his chair. "Yeah. Well, as I was saying, in episode seventy-four, those three were pulled into the dark universe. But their counterparts were pulled into the normal universe. It's balance, you know? If I was pulled here, then someone else must have been sent to my universe to replace me. That's just how it works." "Quantum physics as according to Star Trek?" Ryan asked dryly, and Lewis narrowed his eyes. "I know it was just a show, okay? But until today, you thought that the `Drew Carey Show' was just a show too, didn't you? And besides, the people who wrote for Star Trek did research. They tried to make it as realistic as possible. Just think about it. Doesn't the idea of balance make sense?" Drew nodded, putting a placating hand on Lewis' shoulder for a moment. "Okay, you're right. And given that you're sitting here, real as life, I'm willing to take a few things on faith. But if there was going to be an exchange, then shouldn't Ryan have been sent to your universe?" Lewis nodded, biting his lip. "Yeah, that's what's confusing me. If... Ryan, is it?" he asked, looking up at his doppelganger. "Yeah," Ryan replied, feeling oddly self-conscious. "Ryan Stiles, actually." "I like it better than Lewis Kiniski," Lewis said, offering a smile. Ryan smiled back, wondering briefly if the expression looked as goofy on his face as it did on Lewis. Of course it does, his mind whispered. You have the same face, remember? "Right, well, if Ryan didn't get switched with me, then someone else did," Lewis continued. "Is anyone missing?" Ryan's eyes widened, and he turned, meeting Drew's gaze. "Oh my God," he whispered. "Colin!" * * * TBC Part 2 Colin woke up slowly, aware of a pounding headache and a distinctly unsteady feeling in his stomach. He could hear concerned, confused voices over his head, and he groaned, putting a hand to his forehead. "Hey, I think he's waking up," Drew said, leaning over and gently shaking Colin's shoulder. "Drew?" Colin mumbled, recognizing the voice. "He knows you." Colin froze, feeling his already tense stomach do a back flip. That voice had sounded remarkably similar to his own... except without the soft lilt of a Canadian accent. He opened his eyes warily, and stared up at a ceiling. Some part of his mind was telling him that he shouldn't be seeing a ceiling, that the Drew's house set didn't *have* a ceiling, but he pushed that away. Obviously, he wasn't on the set anymore. Something tells me we're not in Kansas anymore, Toto, he thought crazily. Colin sat up carefully, suffering another wave of dizziness. "What happened?" he moaned, holding his head in both hands. "Did I hit my head or something?" "Uh... we were kind of hoping you could tell us what happened," Drew said, frowning. "Yeah, and you could tell us where Lewis is!" another voice chimed in, and Colin turned toward it, still keeping his face buried in his hands. "Dee?" he asked. "Diedrich? Is that you?" Oswald exchanged an uncertain look with Drew, and shook his head. "No, it's me, Oswald. Who are you?" "Oswald?" Colin repeated dazedly. "I'm... I'm Colin. What's going on?" "Colin..." the strangely familiar voice came again, echoing his name, tasting it. Colin pulled his hands away from his face, blinking in anticipation of bright stage lights that weren't there---and looked directly into a living mirror. "Who are you?" Colin breathed, staring wide eyed at the man who looked just like him. "I'm Eugene Anderson. And... I'm pleased to meet you... Colin." Colin nodded weakly, looking around. He recognized the familiar setting of Drew's living room, but when he turned to look for the `fourth wall,' he saw only perfectly ordinary drywall and paint, matching the rest of Drew's living room. Colin hunched his shoulders, suddenly feeling cold. Without the hot stage lights, the room was actually quite comfortable, but he had been accustomed to the heat of the set. His skin was still covered in a light sheen of sweat, and he felt as if he had walked into an air-conditioned office from a hot city street. Colin shivered, drawing his knees up and staring up at the strangers with familiar faces. "Uh... look, everybody, just excuse us for a few minutes," Drew said, addressing his guests. The house was still full of people celebrating Steve and Mimi's bachelor/bachelorette party. Colin recognized Craig Ferguson, who played Mr. Wick, along with Wayne, Kathy Kinney, Christa Miller, and several others. "C'mon, let's go," Drew said, pulling Colin to his feet. "You have some things to explain." He didn't sound particularly friendly, and Colin swallowed nervously. He had no idea what was going on, and he still felt weak and shaky. Shivers raced up and down his spine, and a panicky bird seemed to have taken up residence in his stomach. Drew led Colin through the kitchen, which was also a complete room and not a TV set, Colin noticed distractedly. Oswald and Eugene followed, while Kate stayed back to tend to the guests and cover for them. She shot Drew a wistful look before she went back into the living room, and Colin remembered that she was supposed to be secretly in love with Drew. This can't be real, he thought. What the hell is going on? They went out the back door and into Drew's backyard, where, Colin saw to his bemusement, the pool table was set up. It only added to his sense of unreality. The yard was much cooler than the house, and Colin wrapped his arms around himself, shivering as goose bumps tightened his skin. "Okay, who are you?" Drew said, giving his surprise guest a rather hostile look. "And what did you do with Lewis?" Oswald chimed in, frowning ominously. Colin looked back and forth at them a few times before weakly sinking down on the side of the pool table, still shivering. He was wearing the same shirt and sweater vest combo as Eugene, and they were both shivering slightly, but Drew and Oswald didn't seem bothered by the cold. Colin thought it might have something to do with shock, but he really wasn't sure. "I told you, I'm Colin. Drew... Diedrich... you know me. What's going on here? Is this some kind of joke? And who... who is he?" Colin murmured, shooting a sideways glance at Eugene. "We're asking the questions here, mister," Oswald said, taking a step closer to Colin. The older man leaned back automatically, hunching his shoulders. To his surprise, Eugene suddenly sat on the pool table beside him and put a protective arm around his back. The shivers subsided, and the sense of rising nausea in his stomach eased considerably. "Easy there, Oswald," Eugene said. "I'm sure he has a good explanation." Colin looked uncertainly at a very familiar dimpled smile for a moment, and then looked away again. Some part of him wanted to shove the arm around his shoulders off, but the simple fact was that he was cold, scared, and still a bit lightheaded, and he could really use the support. It still made him uncomfortable, though, and Eugene must have seen something in his double's eyes, because he dropped the arm, edging a little to the side so that they were no longer touching. "Uh... no, I don't, actually. I was just on the set, and the lights started going all crazy, and then I felt sick... I fell down... and I was here." Colin frowned, rubbing at his temple with one hand. His headache had just come back with a scary, vicious speed. "Come on, guys. If this is some kind of practical joke you're pulling, then ha ha, very good, but please knock it off now. I'm cold and I don't feel very good, and I really want to know how the hell you managed to get me into a perfect replica of Drew's house." "This isn't a joke," Drew said, but the anger had melted from his posture in the face of Colin's obvious confusion. "But you're saying that you were just somewhere else?" "Yeah," Colin replied earnestly. "I was on the set, we were doing the Drew Live episode, in..." Colin trailed off, looking up at the sky. He had just been in L.A. for the filming, and southern California never got this cold. He could see his exhalations in the air. He shuddered, and Eugene mirrored the movement, giving him a concerned look. Colin swallowed, closing his eyes and trying to think. His conviction that this was all some kind of elaborate practical joke was evaporating quickly. Maybe the guys could have somehow knocked him out and put him onto a complete, perfect model set of Drew's house, but to bring him to a place where the winters were cold? There was no way. Besides, his friends wouldn't give him something that made him feel dizzy and sick. And of course, there was the man who might as well be his identical twin, sitting right next to him. Colin had no idea what was going on, but whatever it was, he had to accept that it was real. "I... I'm in Ohio, aren't I?" Colin asked weakly. "Yeah," Oswald said, still looking at the older man with narrowed eyes. "You're here. But when you showed up, Lewis disappeared. And I want to know where he is." "How did I show up, exactly?" Colin asked, choosing to ignore the comment about Lewis being gone for the moment. He felt like he could only handle one impossible mystery at a time. Drew frowned, trying to remember the exact sequence of events. "Well... okay, I was talking to Oswald, and Eugene was talking to Lewis. And then Lewis came over and told us what Eugene said..." Drew paused, looking pointedly at Eugene, who had the good grace to look sheepish. "And then I said something, and... and that's when things started getting weird. The lamps got all freaky, and I heard this buzzing noise..." "Yeah," Oswald added. "It was a noise, but it was like you could feel it more than you could hear it. It made my head hurt." Eugene nodded. "Yeah, and I felt like the ground was actually moving a little bit. Did everyone feel kind of sick and dizzy too?" Drew and Oswald shook their heads. Eugene frowned, until Colin supplied, "I felt sick. When I... when I showed up, I guess, I felt very sick. I, ah... actually, I still kinda do. It's not as bad as it was, but..." "Yeah, I still feel kind of sick too," Eugene replied, nodding seriously at his counterpart. You know, I really do have nice eyes, Colin thought vaguely. "Maybe you're the only one who felt sick because you're the one who got... um... duplicated," Drew said, looking at Colin and Eugene. "I'm not a duplicate," Colin said quickly. "I'm an actor. I *play* Eugene." "What?" Eugene asked. "Yeah, what?" Drew echoed, crossing his arms and frowning again. Colin sighed, rubbing at the nagging ache needling the back of his head and wondering how the hell he was going to explain this. "It's like... okay, you're telling me that you're real? That there is a real Drew Carey who works at Winfred Louder, and there's a real Oswald Lee Harvey who works for Global Parcel? And you..." he trailed off, looking at Eugene. "You really work at Winfred Louder too? And you're really... um... gay?" All three of them nodded, and Eugene added a soft smile that made Colin feel nervous for some reason. "How do you know our names?" Oswald asked suspiciously. "I know your characters," Colin replied tiredly. "You're all characters on a TV show where I come from. None of you are real. And I play one of those characters. I play Eugene. But now... I don't know. I guess here, the show is real. Maybe I'm having some kind of dream." Colin shook his head, wrapping his arms a little more firmly around his body and slumping against Eugene. The sick, dizzy feeling seemed to ease somewhat, and he closed his eyes, hoping to wake up from this crazy dream and be back in the real world. Drew and Oswald exchanged a look. "Okay... so what you're saying is... we're on TV?" Oswald asked, grinning his childlike grin. He looked around as if he could find the cameras. Colin shook his head. "No, you're not on TV now. It's... hell, I don't know. I think I need to lay down for a while." "You still feel sick?" Eugene asked, cocking his head and giving his double a concerned look. Colin shrugged. The sick feeling was retreating rapidly, but it seemed to come and go without rhyme or reason. "Yeah, but mostly I'm confused as hell. I just... I was there. On the set, making the show, pretending to be you," he said, looking at Eugene. "And then the lights started flickering really fast, I felt sick, I got dizzy, I passed out, and I woke up here. That's all I know." "When the lights went out and came back on, Lewis was gone and you were here," Drew said slowly, trying to put the pieces together. "Where you're from... there's someone who plays Lewis?" Colin nodded. "Yeah. Ryan Stiles. He's a friend of mine, actually." And I really wish I was with him and not here right now, he thought. "Okay... and he's still there, right? Wherever you came from?" Drew continued. "Yeah, I guess so," Colin said, lifting his head slightly. He felt like Drew might be on to something. "So you came here... there's two of you here. And Lewis went there... so there's two of him there. It was like a trade." Colin felt the first flutter of hope land in his chest. "Yeah! A trade, that's exactly right!" "So how do we trade back?" Oswald asked. Silence fell as the four men looked at each other uncertainly, and Colin sighed, his shoulders sagging. "I don't know," he whispered. "What if... what if I'm stuck here?" "It's not so bad," Eugene said, giving him another gentle squeeze. "Yes it is!" Colin insisted. "I have a life, a job, a family..." "A family?" Eugene asked, and Colin saw something almost like disappointment in the eyes that were so like his own. "Yeah. I'm married, I have a son... if I just disappear, it'll be terrible for them. I have to get back." Eugene raised an eyebrow speculatively. He couldn't help noticing how Colin had phrased that. If he just disappeared, it would be terrible for *them.* Not a word about missing them. The only time he had looked sad and wistful was when he was talking about his friend---the guy who played Lewis. Eugene wasn't sure what that meant, but he filed it away for future reference. The man missed his best friend---his best *male* friend---more than his wife. Interesting. "Damn, I wish Lewis was here. This is really his kind of thing," Drew muttered, sighing heavily. "Yeah," Oswald echoed morosely. "He's always reading all that sci-fi stuff. But... hey, where he is, there's two of him, right? Maybe with two of them, they'll figure it out and find a way to trade back!" Colin shook his head tiredly. "No... there aren't two Lewises. Any more than there are two Eugenes. Ryan... he only *plays* Lewis, you know? He's not into sci-fi. He doesn't know about this stuff. He's probably just as confused as I am." Eugene frowned at the slump in Colin's shoulders. "Well, at least they have *one* Lewis. Maybe he can explain it to the rest of them. And in the meantime... you look like you could really use a drink." "Yeah. That actually sounds really good," Colin said, offering his twin a weak smile. "Okay then. Buzz Beer?" Eugene asked. Colin grinned and shrugged. "Sure, what the hell. I've always wondered what it tastes like." Eugene nodded and rose from the edge of the pool table, heading for the kitchen. As he walked away, Colin shivered again, the sense of feverish nausea overcoming him in a sudden wave, without warning. He wrapped his arms firmly around his body and clamped his mouth shut, struggling for control. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Eugene stagger slightly and put a hand against the back door of Drew's house for support. Colin weaved dizzily, putting a hand to his forehead, which was shockingly hot against his cold fingers. "What the hell?" Drew said, looking back and forth between the two identical men. "What's wrong with you two? You look awful all of the sudden." Eugene nodded weakly, his body slumped against the side of Drew's house. His head was swimming and he was suddenly wracked with shivers. He hunched his shoulders, his teeth chattering as he tried to get warm. It was Oswald who figured it out, with the simple, obvious logic of a child. He moved to Eugene's side and led him back to the pool table. As they got closer to Colin, Eugene straightened, the chalk- white of his skin changing back to a more healthy pink. Colin relaxed subtly, his shoulders drooping as the chills eased. Eugene perched on the edge of the table beside him, and they leaned together, both of them breathing raggedly. "What was that?" Colin muttered, sighing with relief as the nausea retreated. "I don't know," Eugene replied, wiping cold sweat from his forehead. "I just suddenly felt really sick. And then when I got back over here, it was better." "Maybe... maybe you can't go back in the living room. Because that's where the whole trade thing happened," Drew said, frowning in puzzlement. "Maybe you felt sick because you were getting closer to that spot." Colin shook his head. "Then why did I feel sick too?" Oswald cocked his head, a faraway look in his eyes as he thought. "Hey, I have an idea," he said, and then quickly put a hand up, palm out. "At least hear it before you say anything!" he said defensively. Colin chuckled softly, thinking that this guy did a better `Oswald' than Diedrich did. But then, he was the real Oswald. Of course he would do it better. "Okay, what's your idea?" Drew asked soothingly, rolling his eyes when Oswald wasn't looking. "This," Oswald said, pulling at Colin's arm. "C'mere, Eugene." "I'm Colin," he protested, allowing Oswald to pull him to his feet. Oswald blinked. "Oh... you guys have got to start wearing different outfits or something. Maybe nametags." Colin and Eugene exchanged a look that was almost amusement. Despite the craziness of the situation, Colin was actually starting to have a little fun. He had always wondered what it would be like to have an identical twin. His sense of mild humor evaporated as Oswald led him away from his double and the nausea started rolling in his stomach again. He staggered dizzily, leaning against Oswald's solid frame and shivering. Behind him, Eugene was groaning and clutching at his stomach, and his complexion was growing pale again. "Bring him back, Oswald! You're making both of them sick!" Drew said quickly, stepping back in case Eugene's gagging turned into something more substantial. "I know!" Oswald said gleefully. "I was right! Being apart is what makes them sick!" "Great, you were right, let me go!" Colin said, pulling away from Oswald's grasp and lurching toward Eugene again. They were only about fifteen feet apart, but every step he took toward the other man got a little easier. By the time he could put a hand out on the pool table to steady himself, it was no longer necessary. He was walking easily, although he still felt a bit sick. "I guess we're going to be pretty close for a while, huh?" Eugene asked, smiling weakly and lifting a trembling hand to scrub at his mouth. Colin nodded, sitting down beside his double again. When their shoulders touched, the last vestiges of dizziness and headache disappeared, and he finally stopped feeling so cold. Eugene cocked his head curiously and leaned away, breaking the contact. Immediately, both men winced as the mild headache and chills came back. They leaned together again, looking at each other ruefully. "We have to be touching or we feel sick, is that how it goes?" Colin asked, shaking his head in disbelief. Eugene nodded slowly. "Good thing we're so easy to get along with, huh?" Colin smiled in spite of himself, but the expression melted away as he looked up at Drew and Oswald. "So what do we do now?" he asked plaintively. Silence fell over the little yard again as they all looked at each other helplessly. * * * TBC Part 3 Ryan was rubbing distractedly at his forehead, where the headache was just sinking in and getting comfortable, like a houseguest who doesn't intend to leave anytime soon. The dressing room was warm, but he still felt chilled, and Lewis didn't look any better off. He was still trying to explain the whole parallel universes thing to Drew, Ryan and Kathy, but he looked pale, and he kept swallowing uncomfortably. "So let me get this straight," Lewis said, holding up one big hand to quiet them. Ryan noticed that it was trembling slightly, and he looked down at his own hands, which were stuffed into his pockets in a futile effort to keep them warm. He wondered if they would shake too if he held them out. Probably. He felt like his whole body was shaking. "Normally, you tape these shows, and then they are broadcast later?" Lewis asked. "That's right," Drew supplied, and Ryan noticed with something like jealousy that the shorter man didn't look sick at all. Apparently it was just he and Lewis. "But today, for this special episode, you were broadcasting at the same time as you acted it out?" "Yes," Drew said impatiently. "But I still don't see what---" "That's the key," Lewis interrupted. "The broadcasting. What you do here, when you make the show... somehow that controls what happens in my world. And usually there's a delay---you make it, then you broadcast it and it happens for my friends and me. But for this live thing, you were doing the exact same things at the same time, in the same place, and broadcasting it instantly... that's what made the link. That's why I crossed over, and your friend got sent there." Ryan blew an exasperated breath through his teeth. "Are you aware of how crazy that sounds?" he asked shortly. "You're saying that what we write here actually *happens* in some other world? That we're controlling a whole universe based on what we think will boost ratings?" Lewis ran a hand through his hair, and Ryan was startled by the sheer familiarity of the gesture. It was something he did all the time when he was frustrated or upset. "Look," Lewis said, rubbing at the ache in his temples. "Are you familiar with the concept of bubble universes?" Met with blank stares, Lewis shook his head and muttered, "Look who I'm asking." "What is that supposed to mean?" Ryan snapped. He got confused looks from Drew and Kathy, and some part of his mind realized that he was being an asshole because he was confused, worried about Colin, and still felt like shit, but that didn't matter. Ryan had a temper, and right now he was on the edge of losing it. Lewis narrowed his eyes. "It means that none of you guys are familiar with this kind of stuff. And I'm *trying* to explain it, even though I feel like crap... and why is it so damn cold in here?" he asked, wrapping his arms around his chest and shivering. "You feel cold too?" Ryan asked. Lewis looked up at him and nodded slowly, biting absently at his thumbnail. Ryan recognized it as something that he did when he was trying to think, and he kept quiet, letting his double work out whatever he was puzzling over. Drew, on the other hand, didn't realize what the thumbnail chewing meant, and he interrupted the silence. "What's this about bubble universes?" Lewis sighed, closing his eyes briefly and sagging against the couch he was sitting on. Ryan copied the gesture unconsciously, slouching on his perch on the edge of a desk. The unsteady feeling in his stomach never seemed to get better or worse, but just sat there, bringing an uncomfortable sensation of pressure to the back of his throat. He found himself wishing that he could just throw up and get it over with. "Bubble universes are a theory that a lot of sci-fi fans kick around. The idea that what we do, the things we make up, actually create little miniature universes where the things we make up actually happen. Maybe the Cleveland I came from is a bubble universe that your show created," Lewis said, speaking to his trembling hands. Drew raised his eyebrows---this was the guy who was supposed to be a rather stupid goofball on the show? "But... but does that mean that all TV shows create these bubble things?" Kathy asked. "I don't know," Lewis replied with a shrug. "It's just the best explanation I can think of. And who knows? Maybe all of them do. Maybe this right here is a bubble universe. Maybe this whole trading people back and forth thing happened because some writer thought it would boost ratings." There was a long pause as they all tried to wrap their heads around that one. Ryan stood and paced to the end of the room, an old habit of movement when he was trying to think, but his headache only got worse. He put a hand up to brace against the wall, surprised by a sudden swarm of black dots that threatened to obscure his vision. "Ryan..." It was his own voice, seeming to come from far away. Ryan shook his head, trying to clear it, and looked back at his double on the couch. The other man looked as bad as he felt, pale and in pain, and Ryan swallowed unhappily. "Come back over here," Lewis said weakly, breathing carefully in an effort to quell the rising nausea. "Quick... I think it'll make us stop feeling sick." At that point, Ryan was willing to try anything, so he shuffled back across the small room and sank onto the couch beside Lewis. Sure enough, the sick feeling faded and he was left with only a slight headache and little knots in his stomach. Lewis sighed in relief and sagged back against the couch. The two men weren't touching, but they were only a few inches apart, and it helped tremendously. "What was that all about?" Drew asked, frowning at the two tall, identical men slumping on the couch. They were dressed the same, and in the fairly dim lighting, he couldn't tell which one was wearing stage makeup. It was a little unnerving to know that he couldn't tell them apart. Lewis opened his eyes, giving Ryan a long, examining look before nodding to himself. "It has something to do with paradox, I think. I'm not sure. But basically, there's only supposed to be one of us in this particular universe. And as long as we're occupying basically the same space, we can fit, but when we try to put any distance between the two of us..." "We feel sick?" Ryan finished. He was biting at his thumbnail now, and Lewis smiled slightly when he saw the gesture. "Yeah... we're linked. The... I don't know what you call them, but let's say the `forces' that run things, they want us together. We're supposed to be one person. There's only supposed to be one person with our exact physical makeup in this universe. So as long as we're close, things are okay. But when we separate, the link... stretches," Lewis said, frowning as he tried to work the puzzle out. "And that stretching makes us weaker. Like... like we're not whole, or something." Ryan nodded slowly. It still sounded like crazy gibberish to him, but he couldn't deny the physical evidence. "I still feel just a little bit sick, though," he said, rubbing at the persistent ache between his eyes. Lewis watched the motion, and then on a sudden impulse, he shifted on the couch, pressing his side against the other man's. His headache evaporated, and by the look in Ryan's eyes, his had disappeared too. "That's what I thought," Lewis said, nodding. "When we're touching, we complete the link. The sick feeling fades completely." Ryan wondered vaguely if his shoulders had always been that bony. The man sitting next to him felt like a bundle of sticks held together by string. But it was a relief to finally feel warm and comfortable again, and if having some kind of physical contact was necessary to keep that feeling, then Ryan could live with that. Temporarily. "So we have to keep touching as long as you're here, is that it?" Ryan asked, turning to look at his doppelganger. Lewis nodded, and then his eyes narrowed and a smile quirked at his mouth as something caught his attention. "Hey... do you always wear makeup like that?" Ryan chuckled, wiping a hand down his face self-consciously. "Just for the show. It looks better on camera." "Oh," Lewis replied. "It looks kind of funny. But I think it helps-- -the eyes don't look so beady." Ryan grinned. "Hey, don't knock the eyes. You should see what the fans say about my... our eyes." Lewis raised his eyebrows. "We have fans?" Ryan started to answer, but Kathy interrupted, keeping things on track like she usually did. Just the way that on stage, during an improv game, she could be relied on to follow the rules closely and try to stick to the original audience suggestion. "Guys, aren't we forgetting something?" she asked. Ryan and Lewis gave her identical puzzled looks, and she smiled slightly. They were undeniably cute. "This is all very interesting, but you know we can't have things this way permanently. I mean... what about Colin?" Ryan felt a twist of worry and guilt tug at his stomach again, and he frowned, slumping a little more against his twin. "Who is Colin, exactly?" Lewis asked, figuring from Ryan's reaction that it must be *someone* important. "He's the one that got traded for you," Drew said. Lewis nodded---he had already figured that much out. "He plays Eugene on the show," Drew added. Lewis smiled softly. Oh, Eugene... yeah, he could see how Ryan might miss the guy. There was just something about him... "We need to get Colin back," Ryan said decisively. "And no offense to you, I'm sure you're a nice guy, but I really don't want to spend the rest of my life joined to you at the hip, you know?" Lewis nodded, smiling ruefully. "No argument there. What we need to do is somehow re-create the original transfer." "You mean another live broadcast?" Kathy asked. Drew raised his eyebrows, knowing that putting together a live television show on short notice would be a logistical nightmare. "But how can we be sure that they'll be doing the same things we're doing?" Ryan asked, still confused by the whole multiple universes thing. Lewis shrugged. "I don't know. Normally, I'd say that once you guys started broadcasting, it would act as a kind of guide, and the people in my world would naturally fall into place with what you were acting out. But now, with the balance thrown off by this whole exchange... I'm just not sure." "Oh," Ryan said softly. "Great." "Hey, it's the only thing I can think to do," Lewis said defensively. "And it has to be up to us... as the `controlling' universe, we're the ones who have to initiate the exchange." All the technobabble was making Ryan's head hurt again and he sighed, letting his eyes drift shut as he slumped against the couch and leaned into his double. "Well, I can try to talk Bruce and Robert into doing another live show, but I'm really not sure they'll buy all this alternate universe stuff." Drew suddenly seemed to realize that he was still wearing his thick black prop glasses, and he pulled them off, switching them for the wire-rimmed pair he kept in his pocket. Lewis looked at him oddly, feeling increasingly out of place. It was Drew, but it wasn't *his* Drew. "Can't we just show them Ryan and Lewis here?" Kathy asked, indicating the two men with a wave. "They'll just think that Ryan has a twin and we're playing some kind of joke," Drew replied tiredly. "I mean, come on. It's a lot easier to believe that than all this universal crap." "That's for sure," Ryan muttered, still keeping his eyes shut. Drew shrugged helplessly. "I'll do my best, but it's still going to take a while to get set up, to write the scene... should we write both of you into it? Like, Lewis' long lost brother or something?" Ryan and Lewis actually smiled at that one, but the smile melted off Ryan's face as another thought occurred to him. "Hey, how are we going to get Colin and Eugene to be there in the... the Cleveland world? Since we don't have them here..." "Don't worry about that," Lewis assured him quickly. "They've become our counterparts. So if we're in the scene here, they'll be following our lines in the bubble universe. That's how the balance works." "You have a remarkable talent for confidently talking out of your ass," Ryan said dryly, and Lewis elbowed him gently in the ribs. "Okay, so we need both of you in the scene..." Drew trailed off, brushing his knuckles against his chin as he thought. "But... there's no guarantee that the switch will happen, and if it does, how do we know we'll get the right people back? What if Ryan ends up there, and Eugene ends up here, or something?" "No, that won't happen," Lewis replied. "I don't really belong here, and Colin doesn't really belong there. If given a chance, the universes will right themselves naturally. It's that balance thing again." "If the balance is so damn good, then why did the switch happen in the first place?" Ryan inquired, raising an eyebrow. Lewis shrugged. "What am I, a rocket scientist? I'm doing my best here, but I don't have an answer for everything." "Okay," Drew sighed. "I'll talk to the crew, and we'll try to put together another live broadcast. Does it have to be a whole show, or what?" Lewis frowned, rubbing his fingers over the nape of his neck and smoothing the curls of hair that always seemed to be just over his collar. "I'm not sure," he said slowly. "It might take a little while for this world and mine to... you know, synch up. How far into the show were you guys today when the switch happened?" "About twenty minutes," Kathy supplied, and Lewis nodded. "Okay, then that's what you should do again. But just in case, Ryan and I should be in the scene throughout, so Colin and Eugene will be in the scene too, and the switch can happen as soon as we get... um... synchronous." Drew sighed. "Twenty minutes of live broadcast with both you guys in the scene. You say that like it's easy." "Makes me glad I'm not a producer on this show," Ryan said, and Drew flipped him off casually, the way some people might shake hands or scratch their heads. Ryan snickered into his palm, and Lewis watched the exchange with a kind of half-smile, still feeling very out of place. The Drew he knew didn't have that kind of easy self- confidence. "It'll take a week," Drew said suddenly, and the smile quickly melted off Ryan's face. "What? It doesn't take that long to put a show together, it's not like it has to be good or anything, just us two in the scene for a while---" Drew put a small, chubby hand out to silence the other man. "If it was just taping a show, we could do it easy. Hell, we could probably do it today. But we're talking about *broadcasting* here. Live. And even if I somehow talk Bruce and Robert into this crazy shit, ABC is *not* gonna buy it. We have to wait for our regular time slot to come back up." Ryan nodded reluctantly, and Lewis, who knew less about TV production than Ryan knew about parallel universes, simply shrugged and took their word for it. "Okay, so what do we do until it's time for the show?" "Shouldn't you two get out of here?" Kathy asked. "I mean, we don't need a whole lot of people seeing you guys and asking what's going on." "That's not going to be enough," Drew said, frowning. "Some people have already seen them together. And you know how people talk around here---you can't take a shit without everyone knowing what color it is." Lewis snorted laughter, and Ryan rolled his eyes, shaking his head. "What we need," he said, "is a cover story. So if people see us together, they won't be confused." "Isn't it obvious?" Lewis asked. "Just tell people we're brothers. We certainly have the... uh, family resemblance down." Ryan shook his head. "But people know I don't have a twin." "So maybe I'm the brother you didn't know you had or something. Like, I was adopted when we were babies, and I just recently found you." Drew smiled. "I think you've been watching too many sitcoms. But... you know, it could work. Just don't volunteer anything. If you're asked, stick to the twin story, but try to keep a low profile. Don't go out in public together." "Well, that means we can't go out in public at all. Since we can't go anywhere separately without feeling sick," Ryan said. Drew and Kathy exchanged a look. "Yeah, I guess that's what it means," Kathy said quietly. "I know this is difficult for both of you, but I'll try to help Drew convince the crew to make this second live broadcast happen as soon as possible." Ryan nodded his thanks, but Lewis only looked at her suspiciously, still having trouble reconciling the `Mimi' appearance with the sweet personality. "I guess we should go home," Ryan said, rising to his feet. The headache was back immediately, a dull pain driving into the back of his skull, and he winced, automatically reaching for Lewis. The other man took the proffered hand and stood, still lightly grasping Ryan's fingers. "You've got huge hands," Lewis said dryly. Ryan grinned at him and put his other hand up, palm out. Lewis matched it with his own, pressing the big palms flat together. Their fingers matched exactly. Both men laughed softly, smiling at each other, until Drew cleared his throat. "All right you two, head out the back. And the next time I see you, you better be wearing different clothes. It makes me nervous when I can't tell you apart." "But don't twins always dress alike?" Ryan said, unable to resist the chance to tease Drew a little. "Yeah, when they're in grade school," Drew shot back. "Now wish me luck. I'm going to try and explain this crap to the guys." "Wouldn't it help if we were there?" Lewis asked. "I mean, sort of a `seeing is believing' kind of thing?" Drew shook his head. "If they need to see you, I'll bring them by your house or something. But for now, we'd have to take you guys past an assload of people to get to the main production office, and that's exactly the kind of headache we don't need. Besides, the way that you're holding hands is going to generate rumors if the audience gets a look at it." Ryan and Lewis looked sheepishly down at their still joined hands. "That's just so we don't feel sick," Ryan said defensively. "I know that, but they don't. Now go on, get. I'll call you once I have news." Drew shooed them with a dismissive gesture, and the two identical men took the hint and left. They slipped down the hallway with their hands still linked. Ryan led the way, since Lewis didn't know anything about the inside of a television studio. Luckily, most of the cast and crew were either in the Green Room, or cleaning up the lighting and camera equipment now that the live broadcast was over. They didn't meet anyone in the building, and made it out to the parking lot without anyone noticing. "It's hot!" Lewis blurted out, squinting up at the sun. "Well, it's California," Ryan replied. He was still in his `Lewis' clothes, but he figured he could return them to wardrobe later. He had plenty of street clothes at home. "So where are we going?" Lewis asked as they climbed into Ryan's convertible. He took a moment to whistle appreciatively at the sleek vehicle, running his hands over the leather upholstery. They had to separate to get into the car, but they immediately leaned together once inside, letting their shoulders touch so Ryan could use both hands to drive. "We're going back to my house." Lewis nodded, looking around like a kid at an amusement park. He'd lived in Ohio pretty much his whole life, and the glitz of Hollywood was certainly something to see. "Are, um... are your kids going to be there?" Ryan shot his double a quick look, hearing the hesitant hope in his voice, and shook his head. "Nah, they stay up in my house in Washington during the school year." "You have two houses?" "Yeah. Two shows, too," Ryan couldn't resist adding. Lewis nodded approvingly. "What's the other one called?" "Whose Line is it Anyway?" "Oh," Lewis said, trying to sound like he knew what Ryan was talking about. "That's the show that I'm on full time with Colin," Ryan said, his voice catching slightly. "You're really worried about him, aren't you?" Ryan nodded, biting his lip. "Yeah. I mean, he's stuck in Cleveland, with a bunch of people who have no reason to believe all this parallel universe stuff, and no way of getting back. He must be so scared..." "I know the feeling," Lewis said quietly. Ryan gave him a quick, reassuring smile. "We'll get you back there. Drew talks like it's going to be hard, but he's the star of the show, *and* an executive producer. He can make it happen." "You can make another live broadcast happen, but... I'm really just guessing that it'll make us switch back." Ryan frowned, worrying at his lip again. "Don't talk that way. What you were saying in there made sense. It'll work. And in the meantime... well, we get to be twins. I always..." "You always wondered what it would be like to have a twin?" Lewis finished. "Yeah," Ryan said, grinning. "You too?" Lewis nodded. "I guess everyone does. And hey, I was pretty scared at first, but things are looking better now. Maybe Colin's feeling the same way." "I hope so," Ryan said softly. He already missed his friend, and the thought of never seeing him again made his stomach tie itself into an icy knot. Where are you, Colin? he thought. Where are you? * * * TBC Part 4 Colin was staring out the window of Eugene's car, watching the cold rain being swept along the glass by the slipstream. His hand was lightly resting in Eugene's palm, and the other man was driving, taking them back to his apartment. They had eventually decided to go back to his place, because the party at Drew's was winding down and talking was getting them nowhere. "We'll figure something out," Eugene said reassuringly, giving Colin's fingers a gentle squeeze. Colin nodded automatically, but said nothing. He was trying not to be scared, but it wasn't working. What if he was stuck here permanently? What if he never saw Ryan again? Or Deb, of course. Colin tried not to think about why never seeing Ryan again scared him more than never seeing Deb. "Colin... it'll be okay," Eugene insisted, and Colin turned to look at him. His own soulful brown eyes, filled with worry and sympathy, looked back at him. "I want to believe that," he said quietly. "But I just don't see how I can get back there. Even if I somehow went to L.A. and found the studio, no one would know me. Because here, there is no `Drew Carey Show.' I just..." He trailed off, shaking his head and sniffing. "Look, maybe we don't have to do anything," Eugene said. "After all, the way you tell it, what happens on the show happens here too. So it's like they're in control of what happens here. And if they're in control, they can bring you back." "So we just have to wait, huh?" Colin asked morosely. "Just that easy." "Look, I know Cleveland isn't exactly southern California, but it has its merits. And I'm not such a bad guy to be stuck with. I'm sure your friends back home are doing their best to make another switch happen." Colin nodded, putting on a smile because Eugene seemed so worried about him. Colin thought distractedly that his counterpart really was a nice, caring guy. "Tell me about yourself," Eugene said, giving his double a quick sideways look before concentrating on the road again. Colin laughed hollowly. "What do you want to know?" "Well, you said you had a family, what about them?" Smiling wistfully, Colin nodded. "Yeah, I have a family. My wife's name is Debra; she's an actress and a comedienne. I actually met her through Ryan. He's basically set my whole life up for me. I got on `Whose Line' through Ryan, I met Deb through him, and he even got me the guest spot on the `Drew Carey Show.' He's done everything but sire my son." "You really miss him, don't you?" Eugene asked softly. "Yeah. I'd give anything to see Ryan again right now." Eugene raised his eyebrows. "Well, actually I was talking about your son." Colin sat up a little straighter in his seat, looking away uncomfortably. "Oh. Right. Luke, yeah, I miss him too. He's a great kid." "And your wife?" Colin was silent for a long moment, and Eugene gave his hand another gentle squeeze to get his attention. "Yeah," he said suddenly. "Of course I miss her. She's my wife." "Mmm-hmm... I find that kind of strange," Eugene said. "Why?" "Well, I'm not into women. I guess you know that." Colin nodded, his gaze going to their joined hands for a moment before he cleared his throat and looked out the window again, feeling a flush creep up his cheeks for some reason he couldn't quite identify. "And we're basically physically identical, right?" Eugene continued. Colin shrugged, still looking uncomfortably out the window, and Eugene smiled to himself. "Well, what puzzles me is that they say sexual orientation is partially genetically determined. And if we're genetically the same..." "I'm not gay," Colin barked, pulling his hand away. The headache and dizziness returned with an immediate, savage bite, and he swallowed, trying to force the light nausea down. "Okay, okay, you're not, but please don't make me drive like this," Eugene said quickly, reaching for Colin's hand. Colin let him take it, sighing and relaxing against the seat as the sick feeling faded again. "Sorry," Colin mumbled, cracking his eyes open to give Eugene a sideways look. "It's okay. I probably shouldn't have sprung it on you like that. It's just... well, you seem to have more feelings for this Ryan guy than you do for your wife. And I know that sometimes, it's hard to face certain things about yourself." "I'm not gay," Colin repeated flatly, and Eugene shrugged. "Okay, if you say so. But... look, you can level with me. I mean, if you can't be honest with me, then you're basically just lying to yourself, aren't you?" "You're not me." Colin closed his eyes again, not wanting to face Eugene's intense gaze. He had never realized his eyes could be so piercing. "I know I'm not you," Eugene replied patiently. "But I can see that things are not so great between you and your wife. I can read you well enough for that. And I was just offering to listen, if you wanted to tell me about it." Colin was quiet for a long time. There was only the slick sound of the tires on the wet pavement and the swish of the windshield wipers. They were only a few minutes away from Eugene's apartment when he suddenly spoke again. "You're right. Things aren't great between us. And I'm not sure why." Eugene nodded. "What's changed?" "I don't know," Colin sighed. "It's like... I look at her, and there's just nothing. She's my friend. She's a great woman and a great mother. I look at my son, and I love him. I look at her, and..." "And you don't love her," Eugene finished. Colin nodded. "I want to. I keep trying to. I remind myself about all that we've been through together, but... when I get right down to it, the only thing that we really have in common is Luke." "How old is he?" "Luke? He's nine now," Colin replied, smiling. "He's so clever... and funny! He's taking tap lessons, you know. I can't dance worth a damn, but he can." "Must be nice," Eugene said wistfully. "I never had any kids." Colin smiled at him. "Yeah, it's nice. It's... I think it's the reason that Deb and I are still together. I ask myself sometimes if we would still be a couple if it wasn't for Luke, and... and I have to face the fact that no, we wouldn't be." "You've drifted apart?" "Yeah... that's about right. It's not like we fight a lot. We don't. But... we don't talk much, either. And when we do, it's about Luke. She has her interests and her friends, and I have mine." Eugene nodded. "You feel like you're in a business arrangement. Like roommates." "How did you know?" "I used to be married too," Eugene replied, and Colin looked at him sharply, his eyes widening. "Really? I didn't know that." Eugene shrugged, giving his double a sheepish look. "It was a long time ago. Before I... well, before I really admitted the truth to myself. We were both young and impatient, and we rushed into things. And then I was trapped---for five years." "It took you that long to get out of the relationship?" "Yeah." Eugene pulled into a parking garage, found his spot, and killed the engine. He made no move to get out of the car, instead turning in his seat to face Colin. The parking garage was dim, and the overcast sky didn't do much to alleviate the darkness. They could only see a general outline of each other, but that didn't really matter. Both Colin and Eugene had lived with their faces for over forty years, and they knew what they looked like. "Why?" Colin asked, leaning a little closer. "I don't know," Eugene replied, shrugging. "Part of it was not wanting to admit that I didn't have feelings for her---or any other woman. I didn't want to face the fact that I was... you know. Gay. Especially not then. Twenty years ago, the stigma associated with being this way was a lot bigger." Colin nodded, giving his double a sympathetic smile. "What made you face it?" "I fell for a friend of mine. I mean, fell *hard.* Just seeing him would turn my whole day around. He could always make me laugh, no matter what. And God, he was gorgeous. Maybe not in the conventional sense, but he was to me. And what I felt for him only made it clear what I *didn't* feel for my wife. I knew that staying married to her was unfair to both of us." "So what did you do?" Eugene sighed, staring at their joined hands for a long moment. "I got a divorce. She wasn't even really upset. I think she was relieved more than anything else." "I think I can understand that," Colin said, thinking of how he found excuses to work late and felt better when Deb was out of the house. He missed Luke. He missed Ryan. But Deb... he couldn't seem to make himself miss her. "What about that guy that you were so in love with?" "Mark. He was..." Eugene stared off into space, a tiny smile playing around the corners of his mouth. "He was amazing. I was so scared of ruining our friendship, though. He was my best friend in the world. But I didn't think he was gay, and so I didn't say anything. I chickened out." "Are you still friends?" "We talk sometimes. He moved back east... with Ben." Colin felt a flutter of disquiet in his stomach as he realized where this was going. "Who is Ben?" "You know. I can hear in your voice that you know already. Ben is his lover. Ben is the one who had the guts to tell Mark how he felt. I lost my nerve, and I lost my chance." Eugene's voice was growing bitter, and Colin scooted a little closer to him, patting him awkwardly on the shoulder. "Don't do what I did," Eugene said, meeting Colin's eyes and holding them with his own. "That's all I'm trying to say. I see the look in your eyes when you talk about this Ryan guy, and I'd hate for you to miss your chance the way I did." Colin shrugged, looking away uncomfortably. "I'm not in love with Ryan. He's my best friend, and yeah, I miss him, but that's different." "Okay, Colin. Whatever you say." Eugene flashed his best charming smile, which, incidentally, was also Colin's best charming smile, and it worked just as it was meant to. Colin's shoulders relaxed as the tension dropped out of them, and he smiled back automatically. "So I guess we should get out of the car, huh?" Colin asked dryly. "Yeah, I guess we should." They accomplished the operation as quickly as possible, given that being apart made them both feel sick, and when they met at the front of the car, Eugene held out his arm for Colin to link with. At Colin's questioning look, he said, "My hand starts to feel all sweaty after a while if someone is holding it. This is simpler." Colin nodded, and they walked to the elevator with their elbows linked. Colin couldn't help smiling a little bit when he noticed that they were walking in step---their strides were the exact same length. He still had that little bemused smile on his face when the elevator doors opened, disclosing an elderly couple that was also arm in arm. Their eyes widened as they took in the two identical men, who were still wearing the exact same clothes. "Oh, hi, Jack. Hi Sarah." Eugene waved his free hand at the couple. "Um, this is my... brother, Colin. Col, this is Jack and Sarah Schafer, my neighbors." Colin smiled weakly and offered his hand to be shaken. Jack took it numbly, still gaping at the two of them, and when he gave it back, Colin somehow refrained from touching Eugene. The sick feeling was low level, because they were standing close together, but it was still unpleasant. He just didn't feel comfortable linking arms with someone who was supposed to be his brother in front of total strangers. "I didn't know you had a twin," Sarah said, smiling brightly at Colin. "Why, I can't tell you apart at all!" Eugene laughed, but it sounded forced to Colin's ears. He could tell by the way Eugene's breathing had changed that his double was feeling the affects of not touching as well. "Col, you want to push the button for the third floor?" he asked weakly. "Sure." Colin did so, noticing with some alarm that his hand was trembling. The affect of being separated from Eugene seemed to be cumulative, getting worse the longer they were apart. The old elevator started upward with a rather troubling rattle and clank, and Jack and Sarah made no move to get off. "Um... weren't you going out?" Eugene asked, frowning at his neighbors. "Oh, she forgot something in the apartment, so we were going back up anyway," Jack said, patting his wife's hand. "I only `forgot' because you didn't tell me we needed it in the first place, dear," she shot back, smiling at him. This was clearly a conversation they'd had many times, and they were very clearly still in love. Colin looked at the couple wistfully, thinking that he and Deb had never been like that. Not even in the beginning. `My God,' he thought miserably, `was I really only fooling myself?' The increasing headache and dizziness weren't improving his mood any, either. Eugene cleared his throat, and Colin winced, hearing the slight gagging noise that accompanied the sound. His own stomach was starting to feel unsteady as well, and he edged a little closer to his double, wishing the damn elevator would hurry up. On the second floor, another passenger got on, this time a young woman with a stroller. The elevator was fairly small, and in order for the stroller to fit, it had to be wedged in the middle. Colin and Eugene ended up on opposite sides of the small space. The sick feeling immediately sharpened. "Oh, hi... um... Eugene?" the young mother said uncertainly, looking back and forth between the two of them. Colin would have found it amusing if he wasn't suddenly feeling so cold and nauseated. "Hi, Shannon," Eugene said. He was decidedly pale, and for a moment, Colin was glad that he still had his stage makeup on. It would hide his own chalky complexion. "Oh," she said, smiling at him. "Is this your brother?" Colin nodded. "I'm Colin. Nice to meet you," he said weakly. He didn't offer his hand to be shaken, knowing it would tremble noticeably, and fortunately Shannon didn't seem to mind. She only looked back and forth between the two men, smiling in the way that people smile when they don't realize that they're doing it. Sarah began making little appreciative noises over Shannon's baby, and the two women chattered happily about him for a few minutes. The elevator was making its slow, laborious way upward. Colin wondered vaguely if the contraption was in the `Guinness Book of World Records' as the world's slowest elevator. Eugene's eyes were locked on the floor indicator, as were Colin's. They were getting a rather disturbing object lesson in the penalties of being apart. Colin closed his eyes and leaned against the wall of the elevator. The feeling of it moving beneath his feet was only aggravating his sense of dizziness. His stomach executed a slow, liquid turn, and he concentrated on breathing. Long, flat inhales and slow, steady exhales. Just a little longer... When the doors finally whooshed open on the third floor, Colin was chagrined to see that the Schafers were apparently getting off here too---which meant that he couldn't touch Eugene yet and get rid of the horrible sick feeling washing through his body. Eugene actually staggered a little as they got off the elevator, but once in the hallway, they drew close together, side by side, and both felt a little better. "Are you going to be staying with your brother for a while?" Sarah asked brightly, and Colin blinked at her, his head swimming crazily. It took a few seconds to remember that Eugene was supposed to be his brother. "Oh, yeah. Just while I'm in town, you know." "Oh, where are you from?" she asked, apparently settling in for a nice little chat. Eugene rolled his eyes, edging toward his apartment door, but Sarah wasn't taking the hint. "Toronto," Colin said automatically. "Originally Kilmarnock, actually." "Huh?" Eugene mumbled, giving his double a dazed look. "Kilmar-what?" "Um... are you boys feeling all right?" Sarah asked, finally picking up on the fact that both of them looked sick. "He had a long flight," Eugene said quickly, nodding at his `brother.' "Probably a little jet lagged. So, um, we'll talk to you later, okay?" "Oh, all right," she chirped, finally turning back to her husband and asking him what it was they had come back upstairs to get in the first place. She either didn't notice that for a man who just got off a plane, Colin was lacking luggage, or she chose not to comment on it. Whispering "This way," Eugene led Colin down the hall, steering him with the aid of a hand on his back. The contact made them both feel a lot better, and their somewhat wobbly path straightened out. By the time they made it inside his small, cozy apartment, the sick feeling had faded almost completely. "Whew," Colin said, blowing his breath out between his teeth and sagging against the door once it was shut. Eugene nodded, leaning into Colin and letting his head drop to the other man's shoulder. "Was it just my imagination, or---" "It wasn't your imagination," Colin interrupted. "It did get worse the longer we were apart." "Yeah. It wasn't that bad by the pool table, was it?" Colin shook his head slowly. "I think it's getting stronger. I... I can feel it. It's a sense of... *wrongness.* I don't belong here. It's like looking at a painting that's out of perspective. It makes your eyes hurt to look at it, and you get dizzy after a while. Because it's just... wrong." "That sounds about right," Eugene said quietly. "So... Toronto, huh?" "Yeah. I'm Canadian." Eugene smiled. "I thought I heard a little bit of an accent. It's very subtle though... you don't do that `eh' thing all the time." "Most of us don't," Colin said dryly. "That's been exaggerated by American television." Eugene nodded, and Colin rubbed his eyes tiredly, leaning heavily against his twin. He looked around the small apartment with a kind of surprised approval. It wasn't a place that would ever be featured in `Architectural Digest,' but it was nice. All done in earth tones, with lots of natural wood and soft, comfortable looking furniture. His eyes were immediately drawn to what Ryan would call a `love seat with delusions of grandeur.' It was soft brown leather, and he thought that sitting on it would leave a feeling like melted butter on your skin. "Nice place." "Thanks," Eugene replied with a slight smile. They walked toward the leather sofa and sank into it, carefully maintaining contact all the while. It wasn't actually that hard to do, Colin thought. As long as you remembered to keep the shoulders touching or a hand on the other's elbow, it was quite simple. He thought it was a habit he could get into easily. "So," Eugene said, staring up at the ceiling. "So." "Um... any thoughts about how we're going to work the sleeping arrangements?" * * * TBC Part 5 "Wow," Lewis said, his eyes widening as he took in Ryan's California home. It wasn't nearly as elaborate as his place in Washington, but it was quite nice, tucked away in the high-class suburb of Sherman Oaks. "Yeah, it's all right," Ryan said depreciatingly, but he couldn't help seeing it through the other man's eyes. `I'm a lucky man,' he thought. `I make enough money goofing around with my best friend to own not one, but two really nice houses.' "I'll say. Beats the hell out of the apartment over the Warsaw." "No argument here. So, are we going in, or are we standing out here in my front yard holding hands all day?" Ryan asked, only half joking. He couldn't help feeling self conscious, and they weren't exactly following Drew's suggestion about keeping a low profile. Lewis ducked his head sheepishly. "Oh yeah, I forgot. Funny how quickly you can get used to something like that, huh?" Ryan didn't answer. He just led Lewis up his front steps and ushered him into the house. The erstwhile janitor's eyes were immediately drawn to the family pictures displayed on the mantel. Without thinking, he stepped away from Ryan to examine them, and immediately paused, wincing and putting a hand to his forehead. "Shit," Ryan breathed, swallowing back the nausea that had suddenly seized his stomach. "It's a lot stronger." "Yeah," Lewis murmured, quickly stepping back so that his shoulder was pressed into Ryan's chest. They both relaxed as the sick feeling faded, heaving identical sighs of relief. "Why is it stronger?" Lewis shrugged. "I should know?" "You seem to know everything else about this," Ryan replied, nudging his counterpart with a gentle elbow and giving him a pointed look. "Maybe... it's a time thing. Or maybe the barrier between universes is thinner back at the studio, where the crossover happened, so we didn't feel the pressure so much. Maybe the longer we're both here, the heavier the resistance is going to get. You know... I might actually snap back there on my own. Like a rubber band that's been stretched to the limit." "Sometimes rubber bands break," Ryan said quietly. "Have you thought of that?" Lewis frowned and stared at the floor, shivering slightly. Ryan felt it and patted his shoulder, giving his double an encouraging look. "Your repeat broadcasting idea will work. It has a kind of natural logic, when you think about it." "Yeah, I guess. But what the hell do I know? I'm a janitor. I spend my days sweeping up monkey feces and cleaning toilets. I'm not a damn physicist. I'm an idiot." Lewis was still staring at his shoes, and his shoulders were hunched, his back slumped and knees bent, stealing several inches from his height. "Hey... come on. That's not true." Ryan put an arm around the other man's waist, tilting his head to try and catch his eye. "You were the one in that office explaining all this bubble universe stuff to us. If it weren't for you, we'd have no idea how to switch back. Plus, you figured out that any distance between us makes us feel sick. I would've gone nuts trying to work out why I felt so crappy, but you saw it right away." Lewis lifted his head slightly, meeting his twin's eyes. "Yeah? You think so?" "Sure I do. Now come on, you wanted to see the pictures, right?" Lewis nodded, brightening slightly. They walked over to the mantel--- together, this time---and Ryan gave him the nickel tour. "That's my son, Sam, and there's my daughter, Mackenzie. And that's my wife, Pat." "Pretty lady," Lewis said mildly. Ryan nodded, but he had an odd kind of absent look on his face. "What are you thinking about?" Ryan shrugged. "I don't know. Colin, I guess. I'm worried about him. Hey... would it be the same for him? Would he have to be touching Eugene all the time so he wouldn't feel sick?" "Yeah, it should be the same," Lewis replied. "As far as I can tell, what happens there and what happens here are pretty closely in parallel." Ryan frowned. For some reason the thought of someone needing to touch Colin all the time made him... jealous? Was that what it was? No... that was ridiculous. He was just concerned for his friend, that's all. "I hope they figured it out. I wouldn't want Colin feeling horrible and not knowing how to fix it." "Eugene, too," Lewis added, staring distractedly at a point somewhere over Ryan's shoulder. "Yeah, him too." They were quiet for a moment, facing the pictures of Ryan's family but not really seeing them. Lewis laughed suddenly, the way you do when you've remembered something funny. "What?" Ryan asked, cocking his head curiously. "I was just thinking of the last thing he said to me before... you know. He said, `you know, you've got a butt as cute as a cupcake.'" Ryan chuckled. "I know. Colin said the same thing to me. It was his line." "Oh." Lewis actually felt a little disappointed, but he couldn't quite put his finger on why. "I'm sure Eugene meant it, though," Ryan said, wanting to reassure the other man, but at the same time not sure why it should be necessary. Why should Lewis care if Eugene was really attracted to him? Lewis was straight. Although... the show did have a lot of subtext and suggestion concerning his character. "You think so?" "Well sure. We say those things because we're acting, but for your universe, it's real. You're real people." Ryan blinked, hearing himself. Real people? When had he accepted that particular theory? "Sounds pretty crazy, doesn't it?" Lewis asked softly. "Yeah, it does." Ryan shook himself, clearing his head slightly. "Look, I'm really tired. You want to maybe sit down, have a few drinks, and try to forget all this crap for a while?" "You read my mind," Lewis replied, smiling. "You got any beer?" "If you have to ask, then you don't know me very well, do you?" Lewis was impressed all over again with the size and complexity of Ryan's kitchen. When he was told that Ryan actually enjoyed cooking, he only shook his head and said, "We may look alike, but that's where the resemblance stops." Ryan shrugged. "Hey, cooking comes in handy. Nothing impresses a date like a really good home cooked meal." "Hmm..." Lewis fell quiet until they were settled on the couch again, shoulders and hips touching to free up their hands. They both settled into the cushions and stared up at the ceiling, putting their feet up on the ottoman and sipping their beer. It wasn't Buzz Beer, of course, but Ryan had good taste, and as far as Lewis was concerned, alcohol was alcohol. "So you've been on a lot of dates?" Lewis asked suddenly, still staring up at the ceiling with half-lidded eyes. "Sure. Before I got married, of course." "Huh. That's... that actually kinda bothers me," Lewis said, frowning up at nothing. Ryan shot his double a puzzled look. "It does? Why?" "Well, we look the same. And I guess I kinda always assumed that I didn't have much luck with women because of my looks. But... but I guess it's just me, after all." Sighing, Ryan patted the other man lightly on the knee. "It's not you. It's the way the show is written. You're kind of... the pity character." "The pity character?" Lewis repeated incredulously, raising his eyebrows. "Well... okay, it's like this. In the show, Drew is always having bad luck with women. With everything, really. And his friends can't outdo him, because he's the star. So you and Oswald have to act dumb, and you have to have fewer girlfriends than Drew." "Oh." The living room fell quiet for a while as Lewis thought about that. Ryan closed his eyes and laid his head back, swallowing the last of his beer. He idly blew across the top of the bottle, making a low fluting sound. "So you're saying I'm a loser because... because I've been *written* that way?" Ryan nodded, not bothering to open his eyes. It had been a very long, trying day, and he could feel sleep stealing over his body, making his limbs feel like they were full of some heavy liquid. "That's not fair," Lewis said, frowning down at his huge hands. "That's television." "Well, I think that when I get back there, you guys ought to rethink how you write these things. I mean, you're screwing around with real peoples' lives. Here I am, been pretty much... well, lonely and miserable for most of my life, because you guys thought it would be *funny?*" Ryan winced a little, feeling the uncomfortable sinking sensation in his belly that always accompanied guilt. "We didn't know that we were... you know, running a universe. We didn't know it was real." "The road to hell is paved with good intentions." Ryan opened his eyes, turning to look at his double in surprise. Lewis only smiled wryly at him, shrugging one shoulder. "What? You think I'm too dumb to quote stuff like that?" "I didn't say that," Ryan said levelly. "And you know what? You're right. We have screwed up your life pretty badly because we thought it was what the viewers wanted. But you're not the only one. Everyone on that show has a crappy life. Hell, just look at Drew!" "Yeah, but at least the girl he's had a crush on for his whole life has fallen in love with him. Or are you guys going to mess that up too?" Ryan shrugged. "I don't know. The episode where Kate tells Drew how she feels has already been taped, actually. It's called `Drew Cam.' And I think the writers are talking about prolonging things, dragging out the tension, like for some reason it takes them a long time to sleep together, but they eventually get to. I'm not sure what happens after that, though." Lewis nodded slowly, finishing off his beer and copying Ryan's earlier act of blowing across the top. He did it without thinking--- just an old habit. "So... you're saying that Kate telling Drew has already been acted out, but not broadcast?" "Yeah. That's how it works. We do these things in advance." "That just confirms what I thought earlier, then. It's the broadcasting that's the key. Somehow it reaches over into the bubble universe and controls things." Ryan shook his head, frankly amazed that he was even having this conversation. "It just seems so crazy. Do you... do you feel controlled? I mean, you must have a life outside of what's on the show. Going to work and all that... are there times when you feel like someone is controlling what you do?" "Not really. It all seems to make sense while we're doing it. I can remember being a kid, being in high school, going through about half a year of community college before dropping out, starting at DrugCo... and I bet those things aren't on the show. Did somebody write that stuff?" "Not that I know of," Ryan said, frowning. How could Lewis remember being a child, when Lewis Kiniski hadn't existed at all until about four years ago? "I always felt like I was doing things because I chose to," Lewis said, staring at his hands. "Think of it this way---why did you marry your wife? Why did you get into show business?" "Because I wanted to." "Did you? Or did someone, somewhere, write it that way? How do you know?" Ryan blinked, shivering slightly. That was one hell of a concept to try and deal with. `I wish Colin were here,' he thought. `Colin always makes me laugh when I'm thinking about heavy, weird stuff like this.' "I wonder if I should call Deb," Ryan said suddenly, as if thinking of Colin had triggered a thought of his best friend's wife. "Who is Deb?" Lewis asked curiously. "She's Colin's wife. She's up in Toronto right now, but she might have been expecting a call from him." "Whoa, wait a minute... this Colin guy is *married?*" "Sure he is," Ryan said, frowning at the disbelief in his double's tone. "Why wouldn't he be?" "Well... he plays Eugene, right? And Eugene is..." "That's just an act. Colin isn't gay, he just plays one on TV," Ryan said, grinning. "It's a damn good act," Lewis replied musingly. Ryan shrugged, looking away uncomfortably. Sure, it was a damn good act. But that was because Colin was a good actor. I don't have any doubts about my best friend's sexuality, Ryan told himself firmly. "I think I should call her. After all, she's not going to be hearing from Colin for at least a week. She might get worried." "You really take care of him, don't you?" Lewis asked, giving Ryan a searching look. "Sure I do. He's my friend. Hand me that phone, would you?" Lewis shrugged and handed over the phone, which had been sitting on an end table beside them, and then settled back against the couch and closed his eyes while Ryan dialed. It took long enough for Deb to answer that Ryan started to worry he had called too late. There was a four hour time difference to Toronto, which made it close to midnight her time. But she picked up on the fifth ring, and she didn't sound like he had woken her. "Hello?" "Hi Deb, it's Ryan. Hope I'm not calling too late." "No, that's okay. What's going on?" she asked, sounding dutiful rather than curious. Like she was asking because it was the expected question. "Well, uh... it's kind of hard to explain," Ryan said slowly. What exactly was he going to tell this woman? That her husband had been sucked away into another universe that he and his co-stars had created without knowing about it? Yeah, that would fly really well. "What do you mean?" "Um... you might not hear from Colin for about a week. He's okay, he's just... busy." "Oh. That's fine," Deb said calmly, and Ryan frowned. Shouldn't she be more worried than that? Or at least more curious about what would keep Colin so busy? "Well... good. I just thought I'd call you, in case you were expecting to hear from him. I didn't want you to worry." Deb laughed shortly. "I wasn't expecting to hear from him. But thanks for calling, Ryan. And I won't worry." Ryan paused, his frown deepening. "Okay. Um... I guess I should let you go get some sleep, huh?" Deb laughed again, the way you laugh when you know something that the other person doesn't. "Sleep. Yeah. Bye, Ryan." Ryan opened his mouth to say goodbye, but Deb had already hung up. He listened to the dumb blatting of the dial tone for a few seconds before pushing the disconnect button and dropping the cordless phone into his lap. "Something wrong?" Lewis asked, seeing the look on his double's face. "I'm not sure. I think... something's not right between Colin and Deb. But he'd tell me if they were having problems, wouldn't he?" Lewis shrugged. "I don't know. Would he? I don't really know him." Ryan gnawed restlessly at his thumbnail, and Lewis let him think. "I... actually, he might not tell me. Colin can be a very private person sometimes. And if he was having problems with Deb... that's just the kind of thing he would keep inside." "Well, you can ask him about it when he gets back, huh?" "Yeah," Ryan said, nodding. "I think I'll do that." Lewis yawned and stretched, his long legs lifting off the footrest for a moment as he arched his back. "I really hope you have a big bed," he said, giving Ryan a sideways look. Ryan raised his eyebrows, yawning because he had seen Lewis do it and yawning is contagious. "Crap, that's right. We're going to have to share, aren't we?" "'Fraid so," Lewis said, smiling in a way that was trying not to be embarrassed. "And, um... I'm going to need to borrow some PJ's or something." "At least we're the same size," Ryan said dryly. "You'll have to borrow some clothes, too. Unless you want to spend the whole week wearing those." He waved a hand to indicate the other man's rumpled clothes. "Yeah, clean clothes would be great. And please tell me you don't sleep in the nude." "Not tonight," Ryan replied, smirking at the blush that appeared on his double's cheeks. "I think I'm going to need some more beer," Lewis said weakly. "You and me both." * * * TBC Part 6 It didn't take long for Colin and Eugene to realize that they were going to have to share a bed. They couldn't stop touching without feeling sick, after all. It seemed like a simple premise, but getting ready for bed turned out to be quite a complicated operation. "I don't know how Siamese twins do it," Colin said, trying to brush his teeth while keeping his side in contact with Eugene. "They have a lifetime to practice," Eugene replied, washing his face one handed, his other arm linked around Colin's waist. "Yeah, I guess so. Hey... this isn't your toothbrush, is it?" Eugene shrugged. "Well, yeah. But I don't really worry too much about sharing stuff like that." Colin made a face. "I do. You mean you're going to use this after I've used it?" Eugene only smiled at him and took the toothbrush, giving it a cursory rinse before applying more toothpaste and putting it in his mouth. Colin winced and looked away, covering his face with a wet washcloth so he wouldn't have to watch. "You really are shy, aren't you?" Eugene asked, giving his counterpart a toothy, foamy grin. "Yeah. And you really aren't." "Got me there," Eugene said cheerfully. "I spent a couple years in Mexico with this bullfighter, pretty much living on tequila and corn. Fried corn cakes, roasted corn on the cob, corn tortillas... lemme tell you, I got sick of corn. Luckily, the tequila helped me to forget about all the damn corn. He had an outdoor shower that was basically just a bag full of rainwater with a tap at the bottom. There were no walls or anything hiding it, so anyone walking by could see me showering. You tend to lose a lot of inhibitions living like that." Colin shuddered. "I'll bet." He scrubbed the last of his stage makeup off, and looked in the mirror. Eugene met his eyes in their reflection, and they both smiled slowly. "We really do look exactly alike, don't we?" Eugene asked softly. Colin nodded. "Yeah, we do. It's... kinda fun, actually." Eugene stood behind Colin and wrapped his arms loosely around his double's shoulders. Putting their faces close together, he met Colin's eyes in the mirror and said, "Hey, good looking, you coming to bed or what?" Colin stiffened, pulling away from the encircling arms, but automatically putting a hand in the crook of Eugene's elbow to avoid that sick feeling. He stared at the floor, blushing all the way to the tips of his ears. At his side, Eugene laughed and shook his head, patting Colin on the back and pulling him closer again. "Geez... you sure are skittish. I was just playing around." Colin smiled weakly. "I don't know how you can look so much like me and act so different. And besides, don't you have a thing for Drew?" "Drew?" Eugene shrugged, slinging an arm around Colin's shoulders and tilting his head until their temples touched. Colin couldn't help smiling at the image they made in the mirror. They really were preposterously cute together. "Yeah, Drew. You know, that guy that you kissed today?" "You kissed him too, didn't you?" Eugene pointed out. "Yeah, but for me, it was just acting. You were supposed to be really into him." Eugene sighed, ducking his head and pressing his mouth to the back of Colin's shoulder. Colin could feel the warmth of his breath through his shirt---a sensation that was both disconcerting and somehow attractive. "Look... if I tell you something, can I trust you to keep it a secret?" Eugene asked, mumbling into the fabric pressed against his lips. "Sure you can. I mean, I already told you what's been going on with Deb and me, and I haven't told anyone that. Not even Ryan, and I tell him everything." "Okay. It's like this." Eugene paused, and Colin recognized the little line in the center of his forehead that meant he was thinking. It was funny to see his own familiar facial expressions on another person. "If Drew had responded to my advances, I probably would have hooked up with him. Just because... well, it's been a while, and I'm... promise you won't laugh?" Colin smiled softly. "I won't laugh because I know what you're going to say. I know because I... well, I find myself feeling the same way. And I'm married, isn't that messed up?" Eugene nodded. "Yeah, it is. Because if you feel lonely in a marriage, you've got some serious issues. I remember it well from my own marriage. But anyway, with Drew, I actually did think he was gay, and that's why I was coming on to him. Besides, he's kinda cute. But there was more to it than that... there was someone else at that party who I wanted to make jealous, actually." "Really? Who?" "Um... Lewis." Colin's eyes widened, and he turned to look directly at Eugene. "What? Him? You... you're attracted to *Lewis?*" Eugene shrugged sheepishly. "Hey, you've gotta admit, he's sexy. I love those big hands and that deep rumbling voice of his... and besides, you have a thing for someone who looks exactly like him," he added defensively. "I do *not* have a `thing' for Ryan." Colin found himself on the receiving end of his own best skeptical look, and he frowned, looking away. "Do you have any pajamas I could borrow?" he asked, neatly changing the subject. "Not really. I generally don't wear them, so I don't bother buying them." "Well... what do you usually wear to bed?" Eugene grinned wickedly, and Colin shook his head. "Oh no. You're wearing *something.* It's bad enough that I have to share a bed with another man---there's no *way* I'm sharing a bed with you if you're naked." "Okay, okay," Eugene relented, laughing. "I guess it's boxers and t- shirts for both of us. You do wear underwear, right?" Colin gaped at him. "Of *course* I wear underwear! What kind of guy do you think I am?" "I think you're a guy who needs to relax a little. I only asked because a lot of the time, I don't wear any. It's... liberating." "I don't believe this," Colin muttered, shaking his head. "I played you for years, and I barely know you." "Just think of the depth this will add to your performance," Eugene said, grinning widely. "And hey, when you get back there, how about writing in a relationship between me and Lewis?" Colin rolled his eyes. "I'm not one of the writers, but I can suggest it, I guess. If I ever get back there." "You will," Eugene assured him, patting his back. "But in the meantime, we should get some sleep. I don't know about you, but this whole universe switching thing has really tired me out." "I'm the one who switched universes," Colin retorted, but he was already letting Eugene lead him toward the bedroom. They both yawned at the same time and then laughed at each other, and despite his worry, Colin found himself smiling. Eugene was almost in Ryan's league when it came to cheering him up. Getting undressed while still maintaining some kind of contact was tricky, but manageable. The simplest way was to do it back to back, leaving their hands free. It also had the added bonus of making it so they couldn't see each other, much to Colin's relief. They were physically identical, of course, but Colin wasn't too sure that he wanted to see what he looked like in his underwear from an outside perspective. "Walk with me," Eugene said, moving toward the dresser. Colin, already down to his shorts and an undershirt, turned to walk by Eugene's side but froze and averted his eyes when he realized the other man was naked. "What are you doing?" he hissed, feeling another blush set fire to his skin. "I'm getting some underwear," Eugene replied, as if it should be obvious. "What was wrong with the pair you had on?" "I wasn't wearing any." Colin swallowed, wiping a hand across his face. "Oh." "Oh," Eugene echoed, trying not to laugh. "God, you're uptight. Now come on, walk with me. Unless you'd rather I slept like this?" Colin grabbed his arm and all but dragged him to the dresser. Eugene, still laughing, opened the top drawer, disclosing a collection of underwear that ranged from simple boxer shorts to a variety of skimpy leather looking things. Colin stared, hoping like hell that Eugene wasn't planning on wearing a thong while they were in bed together. To his relief, the other man selected a pair of boxers and slipped them on, carefully keeping the side of one foot pressing against Colin's foot while he did it. It had been a while since they had broken contact, and neither of them wanted to find out how much worse the sick feeling might have gotten in that time. "Aren't you going to wear a shirt?" Colin asked, his voice squeaking slightly. "Oh, come on. I'm already wearing shorts here. Isn't that good enough?" Colin shrugged. "I guess so. I... I'm sorry. I guess I am being kind of uptight. I've just never... you know, slept in a bed with another man. Especially not a..." "Not a gay man?" Eugene finished for him, smiling wryly. "Yeah." "Well, don't worry. I don't bite. Much." Colin shot his double a sharp look, and for a moment he was fooled by the calm seriousness on Eugene's face. Then he saw the laughter dancing in the familiar dark eyes and he smiled weakly, shaking his head. "You had me going for a minute there." "I know," Eugene replied with a small, smug smile. "Now come on. I know you're tired, because you look exactly like I do when I'm tired." Colin nodded, and they managed to climb into the bed without losing contact. Colin rolled onto his right side, which was the way he always slept, and Eugene did the same, facing his back. Colin was startled when he felt the other man scoot close, pressing against him and wrapping an arm across his chest. "Um... Eugene..." "What? You don't want to lose contact and wake up in the middle of the night sick, do you? Besides, when I have someone in bed with me, I always sleep like this. It's nice. And... and I've missed it. So could we please stay this way?" The brash confidence had drained from Eugene's voice---he sounded almost pleading. "Okay," Colin murmured. He patted the hand pressed into his chest automatically, and allowed himself to snuggle backwards into the solid warmth of Eugene's body. Truth be told, he actually liked being held this way. Deb never wanted to be touched while she was sleeping---she had to have her space. Colin could feel the other man's breathing gently lifting the chest pressed against his back, and Eugene's arm tightened subtly across his ribs. He decided that he didn't mind the sleeping arrangements at all. In fact, Colin thought to himself as he drifted away, he was kind of glad that this whole `keep touching or feel sick' thing had forced this situation. Just before he dropped off to sleep, Colin wondered how it would feel to have Ryan snuggled up against him like this. Considering the run of his thoughts as he was sinking into sleep, it was perhaps not so surprising that he had sexual dreams. The steady, warm feeling of Eugene curled up behind him never quite left his senses, and all his dreams seemed to center around being held from behind while someone kissed his neck, making his skin tingle and his groin throb with a deliciously sweet ache. Colin woke with a gasp and a sensation of falling. Opening his eyes, he was faced with an unfamiliar room dimly lit by early morning light. The panicky feeling from his sudden awakening refused to fade, making his heart race and his skin feel cold and tight. "What's wrong?" a slurred voice asked, and Colin turned. For a moment he was baffled to see his mirror image lying in bed with him, an arm slung across his chest, but then the events of the previous day all fell into place and he nodded, slumping back against the pillow. "Nothing," he muttered, trying to control his breathing. "Mmm... bad dream?" Eugene asked, shifting his arm so that his palm rested over Colin's heart. "You're going about a mile a minute there, buddy." "It's okay," Colin replied. And it was; he could feel himself calming down as his relatively safe surroundings managed to sink in. "Maybe it was a good dream," Eugene said, his voice amused and speculative. "What do you mean?" "You're, um... well, just look." So Colin looked. He was lying on his back, draped with a sheet---he had kicked off the blankets sometime during the night---and that sheet was very obviously tented over his groin. "Oh," he said, ducking his head sheepishly. "That." "Yeah, that." Eugene was grinning widely, and he curled a little closer into Colin's side, letting his hand drift down to the other man's abdomen beneath the sheet that covered them both. "What are you doing?" Colin asked, but only in a vaguely curious way. He was starting to feel sleepy and relaxed again, his limbs pleasantly warm and limp. Eugene felt perfectly comfortable against his side---like he belonged there. Eugene didn't answer. He tugged gently at the hem of Colin's undershirt, pulling it up and slipping his hand underneath to stroke the smooth skin of Colin's belly. His fingertips moved in slow circles, tracing the line just beneath the other man's ribs, trailing down his sides, and occasionally skating across his navel. "Mmm..." Colin mumbled, his eyes drifting shut again. Eugene was using just enough pressure to keep it from being ticklish, and it felt amazingly natural. Almost like he was doing it himself. `Well, in a way, you are doing it yourself,' his mind whispered. And what was wrong with that? Why, nothing at all. Just giving himself a little massage to get back to sleep, that's all. Eugene smiled. He knew the body lying next to him as well as he knew his own---because, of course, it *was* his own. His hand slid higher up, bumping over Colin's ribs and lightly brushing his nipples. They were already hardened into peaks, and Eugene traced the right one slowly, knowing it was more sensitive. Colin was making a sound in his throat that was almost purring. His skin felt tight and hypersensitive, and he was very aware of the soft material of his shorts against his erection, which wasn't going down. `Of course it's not going down, dummy,' a voice told him. `Eugene's feeling you up, or didn't you notice?' His eyes flipping open, Colin tensed and turned his head to look at his double. "Eugene... stop it." Eugene kept his hand still, resting against Colin's sternum, between the shirt and the skin. "Why?" "I told you, I'm not gay." "I think your body disagrees with you," Eugene said softly, looking pointedly at the other man's groin. Colin swallowed, staring awkwardly up at the ceiling for a moment. "That's just morning wood. You know how that goes." "Yeah, I know. I also know the best way to deal with it." "Yes," Colin said pointedly, pushing at the hand under his shirt. "You wait for it to go down. That's how you deal with it." Eugene smirked. "Maybe that's how *you* deal with it." "That's right. That's how I deal with it. And since this is *me* we're talking about here, you want to get your hand out from under my shirt?" "Not really," Eugene replied calmly. "I think I want to keep doing what I was doing. And I think you want me to keep doing it too." "You don't take hints well, do you?" "And you aren't willing to give anything new a chance," Eugene retorted, rubbing gently at Colin's chest even as he spoke. "How do you know you won't like it if you've never tried it?" "With you?" "Why not?" Colin sighed. The hand on his chest kept right on moving, tracing slow circles in a kind of figure eight around both nipples, and he couldn't deny that it was turning him on. His mind was already speculating about just how it would feel to have that hand stroking him somewhere else. "It's... it's kind of incestuous, isn't it?" "I'm not your brother," Eugene replied. He let his hand wander back down to Colin's abdomen, and a smile tugged at his lips when he saw the way Colin lifted his hips automatically, trying to press his erection into the other man's palm. "I told you to stop," Colin said weakly. His breathing was rasping in his throat, and he could feel sweat breaking out on his chest and forehead. "Come on. You're curious. Admit it." Colin didn't answer, but he didn't push Eugene's hand away either. "You're pushing me into something I'm not ready for," he whispered accusingly. Eugene paused, biting his lip. His hand rested lightly on Colin's stomach, just below his navel. "All right," he sighed. "Maybe I am. Maybe I want to find out what it would be like with someone who has the same turn-ons and hot spots as I do. And maybe I'm just too horny to be thinking clearly. I'm not forcing you, Colin. I don't want to force you. If you seriously want me to stop, I will." Colin was silent. The hell of it was, he *wanted* Eugene to keep going. He hadn't been this aroused in a very long time, and the idea of being with someone who knew his body perfectly was very appealing. Someone who would know exactly how to touch him. He looked at Eugene, and the other man licked his lips---deliberately, provocatively. "Um... Deb... she never does that," Colin mumbled, staring at his double's mouth. He had never realized just how much the red of his lips stood out against the pale of his skin. It was fascinating. Striking. "She never goes down on you?" Colin shook his head, swallowing nervously. "She doesn't like to." Eugene raised his eyebrows. "So how long has it been since someone..." "Years. I've been married for ten years. And we were dating exclusively for about three years before that. So... maybe back in eighty-five." "Jesus fucking Christ," Eugene whispered, looking genuinely aghast. "And you've never cheated on her? How?" Colin shrugged, exquisitely aware of the warm weight of Eugene's hand just above the steady throb in his groin. "I just never did. And I don't think I want to start now." "Look, this is a special situation," Eugene said persuasively. "I mean, you're in an alternate universe here. How often is that going to happen? In this world, you're not married. Hell, you don't even exist. And besides, if we're mostly the same person, it's not cheating, it's... masturbation." Colin laughed---a high, edgy sound. Eugene smiled, and then suddenly leaned in and kissed the other man on the side of his neck, just below his ear. Colin shivered, feeling a tingle race from the light butterfly touch straight down his skin and into his groin. The muscles there felt cramped in the pleasurable way that your mouth sometimes cramps when you're hungry and you smell something delicious. "Uh... could you move your hand?" "Oh, sorry." Eugene slid his hand up Colin's body, but the other man caught it and held it just under the shelf of his ribs. "That's not what I meant." * * * TBC Part 7 Ryan and Lewis didn't have any dreams; at least, not that they remembered. What had started out as casual drinking the night before had quickly escalated. Ryan was still very worried about Colin, and Lewis was increasingly aware of the fact that he didn't belong here. It was a distinctly uncomfortable feeling. Ryan's ample collection of alcohol seemed to be the perfect thing to make them forget their troubles for a while. Lewis vaguely remembered a conversation they'd had when they were both fairly deep in their cups. It had involved Colin and Eugene; that much he was sure of. Lewis frowned up at the unfamiliar ceiling of Ryan's bedroom, trying to shove aside the drunken haze and remember what had been said. Beside him, Ryan slept on, his head neatly pillowed on the other man's chest. `Damn,' Lewis thought, looking down at his double. `I'm cute when I sleep.' Cute... yeah. He had said something about Eugene being cute. And Ryan had laughed, and said... ~~~Last Night~~~ "Cute? Why does everyone say that?" "Whaddaya mean?" Lewis slurred, cocking his head and trying to focus on Ryan. "I mean everyone always says that Col is cute. That's what the fans say. `Oh, he's so *adorable!* Just look at those big brown puppy dog eyes!' I just don't see it," Ryan mumbled, shaking his head. "But I wasn't talking about Colin," Lewis said, with the plodding logic of the inebriated mind. "I was talking about Eugene." Ryan rolled his eyes. "They look exactly the same, genius. So if you say Eugene is cute, then that means... um..." "That Colin's cute too?" "Yeah," Ryan said, waving a hand to emphasize his point. "Tha's what I'm sayin.' Colin's cute too." "So see, you agree with me!" Lewis crowed triumphantly, smacking his double in the chest with one loosely curled hand. They were both lounging on Ryan's couch, their legs intertwined on the footrest. Ryan was slumped against the other man, his cheek resting in the hollow where Lewis' neck met his shoulder. "What? I didn't say that." "Then what did you say, smart guy?" Lewis shot back. "Um... I forget." Ryan frowned, rubbing his forehead. "Oh." Lewis knocked back the rest of his drink in a long swallow and then winced as the alcohol burned down his throat. "So, anyway, Eugene is cute. That's what I'm saying. And he's kinda crazy too. I've talked to him a few times and he's... um... y'know, he's done some crazy shit. Been around." "Been there, done that," Ryan mumbled, patting at his lips with the tips of his fingers. His face felt oddly numb. "What'd you say?" "I dunno. What did *you* say?" "I was talkin' about Eugene. Why you gotta keep interrupting me?" Lewis put on a look that was supposed to be resentful, but only came off as rather sloppily drunk. Ryan shrugged and let his eyes fall shut as he burrowed against the other man's neck. Lewis accepted the touch automatically, shifting to accommodate Ryan without really thinking about it. "Anyways, he's done some pretty cool things. Lived in a lot of places. And he's got guts, y'know? Bein' open like that, letting everyone know how he is... guts, man." Ryan nodded, yawning hugely. "Guts. Tha's great. Gotta love those guts. Cause if you didn't have them, then your middle would just kinda be all empty and you'd... I dunno. Fold up or something." Lewis laughed, shaking his head and poking Ryan in the side. "Man, you are *so* fucked up right now. What the hell are you talking about?" "I'm *trying* to explain to you about guts," Ryan said petulantly. "But you just keep talkin' about Eugene. You gotta crush on that guy or something." "Shut up. I do not." Lewis blinked slowly for a few seconds, trying to come up with a suitably witty retort. "And... and... besides, you've got the hots for Colin." Ryan guffawed, rolling his eyes dramatically and shaking his head. "What-EVER. Colin's just my best friend, that's all. I'm *married,* `member?" Lewis shrugged. "So what? Eugene was married once too. He tol' me about it." Ryan raised his eyebrows. One of them was working all right, but the other one only seemed to make it up to about half-mast before relaxing again. It was an effort to keep his eyes open. "Eugene was married? But he's gay." "I *know* that," Lewis said, managing to sound insulted. "You think I don' know that? I know... um... where were we?" "Married." "Oh yeah, Eugene, he was married. Long time ago. He told me. Before he, y'know, figured things out. And I just think that it takes guts to be up front about somethin' like that. Jus' told his wife that he was outta there, broke it off clean, and went for what he wanted. So, tha's good. Goin' for what you want. Important." "Yeah," Ryan said agreeably, nodding bonelessly. "Gotta go for what you want." "Okay," Lewis replied. He ran a hand through his hair, pushing it up off his forehead. He got the distinct impression that he probably looked like hell, along with the rather comforting feeling that he didn't give a damn how he looked right now. "Um... Ryan?" "Yeah?" "What do you want?" Ryan stared dully off at nothing for a while. "Um... I dunno. I want Colin to come back safe. I wanna see him again and laugh with him. And I... when I see him, I'm gonna hug him, I think. Yeah. That'd be nice. Col, he's... huggable." Lewis snorted. "Is that a word?" "Sure it is!" Ryan protested defensively. "Okay, okay, it's a word. What the hell do I know about words anyways? I sucked at college," Lewis said morosely. Ryan shrugged, lazily patting the other man on the leg. "Don' even worry `bout that. I didn't go to college. Hell, I didn't even finish high school. I dropped out." "Really?" "Sure did. Dropped right on out to do comedy. But Col... he was valedictorian. He's a smart guy." Lewis nodded, running the tip of his tongue over his upper lip and tasting the dry, bitter tang of hard liquor. "Yeah, I bet he is. Eugene's a smart guy too. And he's *funny!* That guy, man, he can always make me laugh." "Colin's like that too," Ryan replied, grinning sleepily. "He says stuff like, y'know, Tapioooooca! And, and, that one thing... the poo from food thing, that was so funny..." Lewis closed his eyes, laughing in weak, breathy little giggles. "What? You're not making any damn sense. What about tapioca?" "No, no, it was like, I was talking about Cuba, an' he starts saying all this crazy shit about tapioca... `Tapiooooca! Tapiooooca!' I jus' totally cracked up. The crowd fuckin' loved it." "Oh," Lewis said, nodding as if he understood perfectly. "Okay then. That sounds... um, good. Yeah. Good." Ryan sighed, rubbing tiredly at his eyes and slumping a little more against his twin. "You know what, Lewis?" "What?" "I think that I am supremely fucked up right now," Ryan mumbled, grinning. "I think you're right. Um... maybe we should go to bed, huh?" "Does that involve getting up off the couch?" Lewis nodded slowly, giving the other man a stern, commanding look. At least, he meant for it to look stern and commanding. Judging by the way that Ryan giggled when he saw it, it wasn't exactly something that struck fear into his heart. "Quit laughin' mister man. You wanna wake up with a sore back just cuz you didn't want to bother getting up off the couch?" "Okay, okay," Ryan mumbled, dragging himself reluctantly to his feet. They helped each other up the stairs and into bed, somehow shedding most of their clothes along the way. Oddly enough, being drunk actually seemed to make things easier, because they were no longer self conscious about touching. ~~~ And now, Lewis was slowly waking up and remembering the previous night, but Ryan was still fast asleep. Aside from a slight headache and a nasty, gluey taste in his mouth, Lewis didn't have a hangover. Chalk one up for the benefits of drinking all the time. The body builds up a resistance to it. Lewis smiled wryly, looking at the head resting on his chest. It wasn't often that he got to closely examine what was essentially the back of his own head, and he idly let his fingers sift through the surprisingly soft hair. It was just beginning to thin slightly in the back, but it wasn't really noticeable. `Not like Eugene's,' Lewis thought, but not in a derisive way. He actually thought Eugene was quite attractive, despite the hair loss. And wasn't that strange? Why should he be thinking of another man that way? Lewis shrugged, telling himself that he was still a little weirded out by the craziness of the past twenty-four hours. "You looking for something, or do you usually pet other guys' hair?" Ryan mumbled sleepily. Lewis jerked his hand away as if he had been burned, suddenly feeling guilty. He cleared his throat uncomfortably and wiped his palm against the sheets without thinking about it. "Um... sorry. It was just there, and I was bored. Did you know that you're laying on my chest?" Ryan shrugged. "Sure I knew. We have to keep touching or we'll get sick, remember?" Lewis frowned. So it was okay for Ryan's head to be pillowed on his bare chest, but he had to feel guilty about carding through the other man's hair? That wasn't fair. "So what are we doing today?" Ryan asked, stretching lazily and turning onto his back. His head was still nestled securely in the soft place where the other man's arm joined his shoulder. Lewis shrugged, feeling envious of his double's ability to touch him like that without a trace of self-consciousness. "You sure look comfortable," he muttered. "Well, I'm trying. You're built like a bundle of sticks, didja know that?" "Oh yeah? Well, you're built the same way! So I don't know where you get off calling me skinny, especially since you don't seem to have any problem sharing the bed---" "Whoa, easy," Ryan said soothingly. "I was just kidding. And I know I'm built the same way; I've had people telling me I look like a walking hat rack all my life. Don't take these things so personally." Lewis relaxed reluctantly, sighing. "Okay. Sorry. I just... I hear it a lot, you know? And I'm not a big TV star like you. I can't just thumb my nose and say `who cares what you think? I've got thousands of people who love me.'" Ryan laughed softly, gently patting the other man's stomach with one hand. "I wasn't always a big TV star, you know. And back when I was just a stand up comic in strip clubs, I was so damn thin I looked skeletal. People would ask me if I had cancer or something. And believe me, I took it personally. At first. But I finally realized that if I let every single comment get to me, I was going to spend the rest of my life pissed off and hurt." Lewis nodded slowly, turning over what Ryan had just said in his mind. "I try not to let stuff bother me," he murmured quietly. "But when everyone around you tells you that you're a loser, and you're stuck in a menial job with the same bunch of friends that you've had since high school, and you're always getting rejected by women..." Ryan's hand was still lying limply on the other man's stomach, and he shifted it, wrapping his palm around the side of the slim waist and giving Lewis a kind of sideways hug. "I know what you mean," he said softly. "But you know what? That isn't you. That's a character we made up. In the short time that you've been here, being your own person... you're different." "Am I?" Lewis smiled slightly, and his hand somehow found its way into Ryan's hair again. "I guess you're right. I sure didn't think I'd be sharing a bed with another man when I woke up yesterday. But... you know, it's not so bad. Kinda nice, actually." "Yeah, it's okay," Ryan mumbled, and now it was his turn to feel embarrassed. He felt like he was doing something wrong, being disloyal---but not to his wife. To Colin. An image came unbidden to his mind---how Colin would look if he suddenly appeared in the room and saw them lying together. The hurt expression that Ryan pictured on his friend's face made him bite his lip and rise to a sitting position, keeping contact with Lewis as minimal as possible. "What?" Lewis asked, frowning at the tense set of his double's shoulders. "Nothing." Ryan sighed, running a hand over his face. "I wonder what Colin's doing right now?" "Well, whatever he's doing, you can be sure that Eugene's with him. They've gotta stick close, just like we do." "Yeah," Ryan murmured, and that strange flutter of jealousy gripped his chest again. "Um... that reminds me. How are we going to get showers?" Lewis raised his eyebrows. He hadn't thought of that one. `I wonder if Colin and Eugene are showering together,' he thought suddenly, and frowned. He could imagine the two identical men in the shower together all too well, and the image bothered him. Not because he didn't like to picture Eugene naked and wet, but because for some reason, he *did* like it, and that seemed wrong. "Well... it's not such a big deal, really," Lewis said, rising to sit beside Ryan on the bed. Ryan's hand was wrapped around the inside of his elbow, but other than that they were keeping a rather stiff distance. "Like gym class." Ryan's voice was level, but his jaw was tight, and he couldn't meet the other man's eyes. "Right. And besides, we *are* identical. Not like you've got anything I haven't seen before." Lewis smiled weakly. Ryan did not. "Are you hung over at all?" Ryan asked suddenly, giving his double a sidelong glance. "Not really," Lewis replied slowly, caught off guard by the sudden subject change. "Yeah, me neither. We did get pretty drunk last night though, didn't we?" Lewis nodded, chuckling a little. "I think you were further gone than I was. You were saying some pretty messed up stuff." "I was? What did I say?" Ryan asked curiously. "Well, you said that Colin was cute. And smart, funny, and huggable." Ryan's jaw dropped in a perfect expression of shocked disbelief. "I did not! You're making that shit up!" Lewis only raised an eyebrow and looked at the other man skeptically. "No I'm not. And I'm pretty sure you know it. You weren't so fucked up last night that you don't remember what we talked about. And by the way, that face? Not falling for that for a second." Ryan sighed and dropped his expression of injured innocence since it clearly wasn't fooling anyone. "Yeah, okay, I remember. I also remember you going on quite a bit about Eugene. In fact, I think you started the conversation by saying he was cute." Lewis shrugged, looking away awkwardly. "Yeah, so what if I did? I was drunk, you were drunk, people say stupid things when they drink. Why are we talking about it anyway?" "I thought we were stalling so we wouldn't have to get in the shower," Ryan observed dryly. "You're probably right. But hey, like we said, it's no big deal. And unless we want to spend the next week smelling like ham and feet, we better get used to sharing a shower," Lewis said, rising to his feet. Like Ryan, he was dressed in dark blue briefs and nothing else. He was somewhat amused to see that they were wearing the exact same underwear. "Ham and feet," Ryan repeated, chuckling. "I remember that episode. The frankenfridge, right?" Lewis grinned, pulling the other man to his feet and linking their arms together casually. "Yeah. That thing really did stink to high heaven. But I thought Drew could've been a little more appreciative. We did *try,* after all." "Well, after you and Oswald wheeled it away, he asked Nikki if he was wrong to refuse it. I guess you didn't see that part." Lewis cocked his head curiously. "No, I didn't. What did she say?" "She said that he was right to kick it back. She said it was creepy, it smelled really bad and none of its parts matched. And then Drew said... um... I forget," Ryan muttered, dropping his gaze. "No you don't," Lewis retorted. "You remember and you just don't want to tell me. What?" Ryan sighed. "Okay, don't take this personally, but Drew said `I'm glad we didn't have the nerve to throw Lewis out when we first met him.'" Lewis nodded slowly, his eyes narrowed in the expression that he got whenever Drew's mother Beulah made some kind of comment about him. "Oh. Because I was the same as the fridge, is that what he was saying?" "I told you not to take it personally. It was just a joke---you know, for the audience. The show is supposed to be funny, after all." "It's all fun and games until someone gets eaten," Lewis muttered. "What?" "Nothing. Come on, let's get this shower thing over with." Ryan shrugged, and a snatch of the Motown song `Do the Shower' that he did with Wayne and Chip came to mind. "Feels so good, I want it to last, but every time I turn, I break the glass." `I hope I don't get... interested while we're in there together,' Ryan thought nervously. And on the heels of that thought, there was another one that he wouldn't quite let himself hear. `I bet I would if it was Colin in there with me. Hell, I *know* I would.' But Ryan would never admit that---not even to himself. * * * TBC Part 8 Colin wasn't thinking about showers. In fact, logical thought about *anything* was pretty much impossible at the moment. Eugene knew exactly what he was doing. Exactly. "You like that?" Eugene whispered, his words muffled against the inside of Colin's thigh. He was lightly kissing the soft skin there, occasionally leaving trails of moisture with his tongue. Colin shivered, feeling the other man's warm breath on his tingling skin. "Mmmm..." Eugene smiled. "I'll take that as a yes." Colin closed his eyes. His breathing was coming in rapid pants, and he was actually trembling, but he wasn't sure why. Some part of him was nervous---he'd never been with a man, and despite Eugene's rationalizations, he still felt like he was cheating. When the guilt tried to sink a cold stone in his belly, it wasn't Deb's face that came to mind, but Ryan's. `I'm not cheating on Ryan,' Colin thought distractedly. `It's just that I thought if I ever did do this with a man, it'd be him.' That was troubling, so Colin didn't let himself think about it. Instead, he tried to reassure himself that he wasn't really cheating on Deb. After all, like Eugene said, this was a special situation. He wasn't married in this universe. And wasn't there some kind of rule about distance making it okay? Colin thought he vaguely remembered something from high school about being in different area codes making it allowable to cheat on your girlfriend. And now, he was in a different *universe.* Can't get much more distant than that. `Besides,' he thought, `I think she might be cheating on me too.' The thought didn't bring any sense of jealousy or hurt, but only a kind of tired acceptance, and something like relief. He thought it was probably the same way Eugene had felt when he finally admitted to himself that he was in love with his best friend and that it was time to get a divorce. Then Eugene's tongue was sliding up the sensitive skin on the underside of his shaft, and Colin stopped thinking. "Oh... that's... my *God* that's..." Eugene smiled around his mouthful of Colin. "I know," he said, his voice adding a delicious vibration to the touch of his lips. "This is my favorite thing too." Colin didn't reply in words, but he moaned and clutched at the sheets, twisting and pulling at them, his back arching. Eugene kept up a slow, steady rhythm, taking Colin to the back of his throat and then backing off again, his tongue pressing against the skin and twirling around the crown when he only had the tip in his mouth. He knew exactly what he liked, but he wasn't sure if Colin was quite ready for the next step. One of his hands was lightly fondling Colin's testicles, and he slipped one finger back to tease the opening to the other man's body. "Ah!" Colin breathed, his hips jerking. A quiver of something like fear shot through his chest, and he wondered nervously if Eugene was planning on putting anything inside him. "It's okay," Eugene murmured, pausing in his activities to wrap his arms around Colin's waist and press his cheek into the other man's belly. He held Colin that way for a long moment, lightly rubbing his back and waiting for his breathing to settle. They were both lying on their sides, facing each other, and of course, Eugene was considerably further down on the bed than Colin. "Are you... um..." Colin was somewhat alarmed to realize just how out of breath he was. He could feel his heartbeat rushing in his ears---a kind of distant roar. His skin felt hot and flushed, and sweat stood out on his forehead. He could feel it slipping down his chest, too. "I'm not going to do anything you can't handle," Eugene said reassuringly. He kissed the smooth skin of Colin's abdomen, letting his tongue slide into the cup of the other man's navel for a moment. Colin shivered, and his cock twitched impatiently. "I... I feel like I'm cheating," he panted, and Eugene held him a little tighter for a moment before releasing him. He slid up Colin's side until they were facing each other and looked seriously into his double's eyes. "Who do you think you're cheating on?" he asked levelly. "And tell me the truth, because I'm pretty sure I know the real answer already." Colin bit his lip, looking away. Eugene thrust his hips forward, letting his own erection brush against Colin's, which got the other man's attention in a hurry. Colin closed his eyes briefly, moaning under his breath and matching Eugene's thrusts for a few minutes. He could feel waves of heat radiating from the tightness in his groin, and a kind of throbbing ache that went up and up and up... Just as Colin approached the edge, Eugene stopped, pulling his hips back so they lost contact down there. His arms were still loosely wrapped around Colin's shoulders, and their foreheads were touching. Colin tried to pull the other man close again, but Eugene held him off stubbornly, kissing him to distract his attention. The feel of another man's lips was startling, but Colin responded quickly. He wouldn't quite let himself hear the thought that flicked through his mind (not like Ryan's lips I know his lips) as Eugene kissed him. He was still thrusting his hips frantically against empty air, but Eugene was holding him still, kissing him slowly and gently, bringing him back from the edge. "Eugene... why... was so close..." "I know," he whispered gently. "But you need to know why you're doing this before you do it, or you'll be sorry later." Colin groaned impatiently, and then he took the initiative, kissing the other man fiercely and rolling them until he was on top. "I know why I'm doing this," he panted. "Because I want to." "Why?" Eugene insisted, pressing his palms up against Colin's chest. "Because... because..." Colin faltered, frowning and looking away. Ryan's face came into his mind again, and another thrill of heat rushed through his body. `My God,' he thought, `did I just get turned on thinking about Ryan?' "Come here," Eugene said softly. He pulled on Colin's shoulders, and the other man relaxed his arms, lying bonelessly on top of his double. He pressed his face into the hollow of Eugene's neck and sighed heavily. "What am I doing?" Colin mumbled plaintively. "You're finally seeing," Eugene replied. "I know, because I was like this when I finally figured it out too." "What am I seeing?" Eugene smiled. "The light? The truth? However you want to think about it. You're seeing who you really are, and what you want. *Who* you want." Colin was quiet for a long time. He couldn't deny that being with Eugene made him more aroused than being with Deb ever did. He could still feel that aching tightness in his groin, and he was very aware of his heartbeat thudding heavily in his chest. With Eugene, it felt good, but it wasn't... it wasn't what he really wanted. Colin nodded slowly, burrowing a little more into Eugene's neck and squeezing his eyes shut. "I'm not... I don't want to be this way," he breathed, his voice low and husky. "I know. But we don't get to choose who we are, any more than we get to choose who we fall in love with." "You knew, didn't you?" Colin asked, lifting his head to look Eugene in the eyes. "You knew all along." Eugene smiled, gently framing Colin's face in his hands and kissing each cheek. "I knew. I could see the way you talked about him. The look in your eyes. I saw that look too many times in my own reflection when I thought about Mark." "But... I can't. I can't love him, he's married." "You can't help how you feel," Eugene replied. He gently stroked a hand down Colin's back, and the other man relaxed against him again, pressing his face into Eugene's shoulder. "I'm married too," Colin mumbled, but the words didn't seem to have any power over him any more. "I think you know better. Marriage should be more than just a piece of paper and a couple of rings. You're not married, you're in a... a business partnership." Colin nodded slowly. "What about Ryan? He loves Pat." "Does he?" Eugene asked. "I don't really know him, but if he's anything like Lewis..." "He isn't. He's very devoted to his family." Eugene frowned, hugging Colin a little tighter. "I don't know, then. But... I think you owe it to yourself to at least ask him. Tell him how you feel." "I can't do that!" Colin replied quickly, shaking his head. "If I do, I stand a really good chance of losing the best friend I ever had." "If he's such a great friend, he won't abandon you for telling him the truth. And think of what you could gain if he feels the same way." "Ryan doesn't feel that way. I would know if he did." Eugene laughed softly. "Colin, honey, yesterday you didn't even know how *you* felt. What makes you so sure you'd know how he feels?" Colin felt something like hope loosen the muscles of his chest, and he lifted his head, meeting the other man's eyes. "You... you think it's possible?" "Sure," Eugene replied, grinning. "I think we're pretty damn lovable. Speaking of which..." He suddenly pressed up against Colin's groin, finding the hardness there and rubbing against it with his own. Colin gasped, startled by the rapid movement, and by his own immediate reaction. He began thrusting against the other man's body, feeling the oh-so-familiar geography of that silken shaft against his own. "Easy," Eugene murmured, rubbing Colin's back. He felt the arousal and the tension as well, but not so keenly as the other man, because it wasn't his first time. "Can't... I'm... oh God, harder, please..." "Easy," Eugene said again. "I have some unfinished business, I believe." Colin blinked at him in confusion, his mind working on a rather severe lack of blood flow, because it was all going somewhere else. It wasn't until Eugene began kissing his way down his chest that Colin understood what he was doing. He nodded quickly, pressing down on Eugene's shoulders to encourage him to go faster. "Patience is a virtue," Eugene said in an amused, sing-song voice. He was moving agonizingly slowly, kissing at the sensitive skin of the other man's lower abdomen and tracing his fingertips along Colin's inner thighs. "Not right now it isn't!" Colin gasped, pushing down on Eugene's shoulders and thrusting his hips up at the same time. Eugene laughed and took pity on him, remembering how crazy with desire he had been his first time with a man. He lifted his head to look at his own flushed face, taking in the familiar brown eyes that were half-lidded and glazed with passion. Then he smiled wickedly and engulfed Colin's shaft his mouth, taking him quickly to the back of his throat and sucking as hard as he could. Colin's hips actually lifted several inches off the bed in reaction. "Oh my *God!*" he gasped, his whole body twanging like a guitar string. Eugene smiled and repeated the motion, curling his lips around to cover his teeth and tracing his tongue along Colin's cock, putting as much pressure in each lick as he could. Colin began to whimper incoherently, and Eugene brought a hand around to stroke his sac, sending a single, teasing finger to investigate his opening. Colin felt it, but this time instead of fear, there was only arousal and growing heat. "Yeah," he whispered. "Do that, just like that, oh yeah..." "You got it," Eugene mumbled around his mouthful of hard flesh. He slid the finger inside, moving gently, stretching the tight ring of muscle. Colin arched his back and pressed down against the other man's hand. He'd never had anything inside him this way, but it felt incredible. `I can't believe I'm doing this,' Colin thought with the small portion of his brain that was still functioning. `I'm not actually having sex with another man, am I? And it... oh God, it feels so good... I can't believe this is happening.' "I'm... ah... I'm gonna..." "Come on, then," Eugene said encouragingly. He pressed a little further into Colin's body, and he knew he had found the right spot when Colin thrashed on the bed, his hands clawing at the sheets, and his cock jumped noticeably in Eugene's mouth. Eugene brought his other hand around to stroke himself in time with his lips' movements on Colin. Squeezing his eyes shut, Colin gave in to his impulses and imagined that he was with Ryan. Ryan had his mouth on the most sensitive part of his body. Ryan's finger was gently stroking something inside him that sent shocks of pleasure racing up and down his spine. The mental image pushed him over the edge, and he arched his back, his orgasm easily the best he'd had in years. Maybe in his whole life. "Ah! Oh my God... Ryan..." Colin froze suddenly, realizing that he had just called out his best friend's name, and he looked guiltily at Eugene. His double only smiled and kissed the inside of his thigh, and then stroked himself with his face pressed into Colin's smooth skin, bringing himself off quickly. His hips jerked as he came, and Colin could feel the sticky warmth on his skin, but it didn't bother him. Reaching a hand down, Colin pulled the other man up along the bed until they were facing each other again, and hugged him tight. "Thank you," he whispered into Eugene's neck, kissing him fiercely. "Mmm... my pleasure," Eugene replied, smiling lazily. "You were picturing Ryan, weren't you?" Colin nodded sheepishly. "I'm sorry, I just... I couldn't help it." "Don't be sorry. To tell the truth, I was kind of picturing someone else myself." "Really?" Colin asked curiously. "Who?" Eugene ducked his head slightly and shrugged. Colin rolled his eyes, pulling back until they were facing each other. "Oh no you don't," he said mock-sternly. He poked Eugene lightly on the tip of his nose, raising his eyebrows. "You're not getting all shy on me now. C'mon, give. Who did you wish you were with?" "Well... okay," Eugene said. "I guess it won't surprise you much, but... Lewis." Colin grinned. "So we were both basically picturing the same guy." "Makes sense," Eugene replied with a shrug. "After all, we're the same person... kind of. And hey, if what we were doing was a kind of masturbation, then it makes sense to fantasize while we do it." Colin nodded, stretching lazily and closing his eyes. He settled back into the pillows, enjoying the feeling of Eugene's warm, slick body in his arms. "You know," he said teasingly, tracing a hand down Eugene's waist. "You're in pretty good shape." "Hmm... you're not so bad yourself. Damn sexy, I think." "That's not what the fans say," Colin replied, giggling softly. "They say I'm *adorable.* Big brown doe eyes, don'tcha know?" "Fans? You've gotta be kidding me." Colin lightly smacked him on the shoulder, and then stuck out his tongue. "Oh, that's mature. I've got somewhere you can put that tongue, if you're going to be sticking it out." His eyes flipping open, Colin stared at Eugene for a moment before replaying the words in his mind and hearing the laughter behind them. "You had me going there for a minute," he murmured. Eugene smiled. "Yeah, I know. And who says I was kidding?" Colin swallowed nervously, but he couldn't resist the grin on the other man's face, and soon he was smiling too. "One step at a time, okay?" he asked weakly. "Of course, of course. Would I push you into anything?" Colin only raised an eyebrow, giving Eugene a rather pointed look until the other man laughed and shrugged his shoulders. "Yeah, okay, maybe I did push you a little. But hey, you've gotta admit, it was worth it. And now you know who you really are." "Who I really am," Colin echoed softly. His stomach fluttered nervously at the thought. How many people did he know that had a prejudice against gay people? How many casual slurs had he heard in his life? Colin winced guiltily---how many times had he himself made jokes about gay men? "Scary, isn't it?" Eugene murmured, giving him an understanding look. "I was terrified when I first came out." Colin nodded. "How did you do it?" "I guess I kinda took the easy way. I started being myself, dating men, going to clubs, that kind of thing. I never made any kind of formal announcement or anything, but if I was asked, I told the truth. It helped that after my divorce, I moved to a new town where I didn't know anyone. I didn't have to overcome some pre-set image they had of me in their minds. I didn't have to deal with telling my friends, because at the time, I didn't have any." "I know how that goes," Colin said quietly. "I've always been so shy... if it wasn't for Ryan, recommending me for Second City, getting me not one, but two shots on Whose Line, and introducing me to Deb..." "You would've made your own way," Eugene assured him. "It would have been a different way, but it would have been yours and nobody else's." Colin nodded slowly, wondering just how his life would have been without Ryan in it. Glancing at the man lying next to him, he thought he had a pretty good idea. "I love my life, though. I love my job, and my friends, and my son. And... and I love Ryan." Eugene smiled at him. "Hard to say it out loud, isn't it?" "Yeah... harder than I thought it would be. But... but it's right." "Good," Eugene said. "Practice it. When you see him again, it'll come easier. Don't miss your chance, Colin. Don't give up on what you want out of fear. I went down that path, and there isn't a day that goes by that I don't regret it." "Of all the words in speech and pen, the saddest are these: it might have been," Colin murmured softly. "So does that mean you're going to tell Lewis how you feel?" Eugene shrugged, looking away for a moment. "I don't know. He confuses me, you know? Sometimes he seems like a really nice guy, and other times he's defensive and... well, kinda creepy." "He's just written that way. And you'd be defensive too if everyone called you a loser. He's just insecure. I've actually talked to Ryan about his character, and he thinks that Lewis could gain a lot of confidence with the right significant other. Of course, I think he was talking about a girlfriend, but..." "But that's not set in stone," Eugene finished, smiling softly. "Then... yeah. I think maybe I will talk to him. What have I got to lose, right?" Colin nodded, tightening his arms around the other man and staring into space. `I miss you, Ryan,' he thought. `When are you going to bring me home?' * * * TBC Part 9 "Would you quit doing that?" Ryan snapped, glaring at his counterpart. "Well, I'm bored, okay?" Lewis replied defensively, setting down his pen. It was a ballpoint, and he'd been clicking it relentlessly for the past half hour. "I mean, we've been stuck in this damn house for two days now, basically joined at the hip, and I can only talk to myself for so long." Ryan didn't answer. He just sighed impatiently and pulled another cigarette out of his shirt pocket. He reached across Lewis' body to get the lighter lying on the coffee table. They were sitting on the couch, facing each other from separate corners, their legs stacked together in a kind of lanky weave. Lewis coughed pointedly, his eyes narrowing and following the course of the cigarette from lighter to lips. Ryan blew out smoke in an exasperated rush, rolling his eyes. "What? I'm trying not to do it as much, okay? I'm just tense. You think I'm bad company now, you should see what I'm like if I don't get my nicotine." "Yeah, whatever," Lewis muttered sullenly. "Why the hell did you get hooked on those things in the first place?" Ryan shrugged. "I don't know. It seemed like a good idea at the time. And besides, `Dad,' why the hell should you care?" "Because what I look like on the show depends on how you look when you're making it! And I don't think I need the added bonus of yellow teeth and wrinkles to add to my already considerable ability of repulsing women, thank you very much!" "Fine," Ryan snapped, stubbing the cigarette out, half-smoked, in an ashtray. "I swear, you're worse than my wife. She's always on me about the smoking." They glared at each other for a few minutes and then Lewis sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "Look... I'm sorry. I'm just going a little stir crazy here. Can't we just get out of the house? Go driving or something?" Ryan bit his lip, frowning. He wanted to get out of the house too, and he had to admit that the prospect of some fresh air sounded really good. And as long as they didn't go anywhere too public, it shouldn't be a big deal. "Sure," he said suddenly, holding out a hand to Lewis so they could rise from the couch together. It had been over a day since they had broken contact for even a second, and it was becoming second nature. "Really? We can go out?" Ryan nodded. "I'm going stir crazy too. And besides, there's this park I want to show you. It's kind of a long drive, but---" "Sounds great!" Lewis said happily. "Anything's better than sitting around here and getting on each other's nerves." He took the offered hand, and they stood together, grinning at each other for a quick, silly moment. The mood in the room felt considerably lighter. "I'm driving," Ryan said, pulling his double toward the door. "Sounds like a plan," Lewis replied, offering no resistance. The moment they stepped outside, both men smiled up at the sky, enjoying the sunshine on their faces. Lewis started moving toward the car parked in the driveway, but Ryan pulled him the other way, toward the garage. "We'll need the SUV for this," he said, grinning. "Where are we going?" "You'll see." They had to separate to get into the SUV, and the sick feeling came back with a vicious bite that staggered both of them. Ryan's hands were shaking so badly that he almost couldn't open the door, and Lewis had to lean heavily on the hood of the vehicle because his legs suddenly felt like used tea bags held together by weak string. "Come on, come on," Ryan groaned impatiently, gesturing for Lewis to get the door open. He finally managed it and all but fell into the seat, reaching across for Ryan's hand. As soon as they touched, they both sagged against the upholstery, sighing in relief. Ryan pulled his double into a seated position, and Lewis set his palm lightly on Ryan's knee so the other man could have both hands free to drive. "That sucked," Lewis said, wiping his forehead with his free hand. "Yeah, it did. It's still getting stronger, isn't it?" Ryan asked worriedly. Lewis nodded. "I'm not sure why, but it is. The longer that both of us are here, the more out of balance things get. It's like... like two wheels, running next to each other, in parallel. And then they go over some kind of bump, and their courses get thrown off ever so slightly. So now, as they're rolling along, they're also pulling apart. And the thing linking them---us---is getting pulled thin in the process." Ryan blinked at him, shaking his head. "Wow. How do you come up with this shit?" Lewis shrugged, but he looked pleased. "It just makes sense. This whole switch thing has screwed up the balance, and it's only going to get worse as time goes by." "Then... what happens the next time we lose contact?" Ryan asked, biting his lip and frowning. "What if it gets so bad that we pass out? What if..." "What if it kills us?" Lewis finished for him. "Is that what you're asking?" Ryan nodded, staring moodily at the steering wheel as if it was the cause of his problems. Suddenly remembering why they had come out here in the first place, he started the car and pulled out of the garage, using his remote control to close the door behind him. They turned onto the road and headed left, away from the city. "I don't know," Lewis said finally, staring out the window. "I don't think it'll get that bad. I think it will reach a certain point, and then there won't be any more give. The link won't stretch any further. We'll still feel sick---probably *very* sick---when we stop touching, but it won't kill us." "How do you know?" Lewis shook his head, looking at his double with wide, confused eyes. "I don't. I'm just guessing. But... but it feels right. We're the axle between those two wheels I was talking about. You and me, Colin and Eugene. And if we're gone, then there's nothing holding those wheels up, and they just fall over. I'm sure they don't want to do that. It's in their own best interest to keep us in one piece." "Their own best interest? You're talking about universes here, Lewis. They don't think." "How do you know? We don't really know anything about this whole damn exchange anyway," Lewis retorted. "I'm just trying to come up with an explanation that makes sense, and this is the best I can do. If you've got something better, then let's hear it." "Okay, okay," Ryan said soothingly. "Don't get your panties in a bunch. It's a good theory. I'm just worried, that's all." "Yeah, I know. I am too. How do you think Colin and Eugene are doing?" Ryan shrugged. "Who knows? I just hope they're getting along better than we are." Lewis smiled wryly. "Just five more days, right? Drew did say that he managed to talk everyone into another live broadcast, with both of us in the scene the whole time." "Yeah, he made it happen. I have no idea what we're going to do on stage for twenty minutes, but I guess the writers are working on it. They've been told that the producers dug up someone who looks exactly like me, and I'm sure they're going to take advantage of it. The chance to do something like this without having to use split screen technology and special effects---any writer would jump at that." "Um... yeah," Lewis said vaguely. "I'm going to take your word for that, since I know dick about TV production." Ryan grinned, and then hit the power button that rolled the windows down. Cool air rushed into the car, stirring their hair, and both men sighed happily. "Why didn't we do this before?" Lewis asked, putting his free hand out the window and catching the slipstream in his big palm. "I dunno. I'm glad we're getting out," Ryan replied. Lewis nodded, settling back against the seat and looking happily out the window. When Ryan lit a cigarette a few minutes later, he didn't even blink. They rode for nearly an hour in companionable silence before Ryan suddenly slowed down and pulled off the paved road. "Where are we going?" "I told you, you'll see," Ryan replied. They were traveling down a kind of side road that was mostly hard packed dirt and rocks, with grass growing up in the middle between the wheel ruts. "This doesn't look like it leads to a park," Lewis said suspiciously. "Well... it's not a park, exactly. Just a place I like to go." "Uh-huh..." The dirt road was mostly uphill, and Lewis was beginning to get a sense of peace just from the surroundings. They had left the city far behind, and other than the rumble of their engine and the sound of the tires moving over the rocky road, it was very quiet. They were moving into a heavily forested area, and the shade from the trees made the air outside cool and damp. "Here we are," Ryan said suddenly, pulling to the side of the road in a wide place, so that anyone coming through would be able to get past the SUV. Not that anyone seemed likely to come through---they hadn't passed a single vehicle for more than half an hour. "Where is that?" Lewis asked curiously, looking around. As near as he could tell, the road was just cutting through a rather thick old growth forest. He could see a glimmer of blue sky overhead, but trees and brush crowded close on either side. "We have to walk a little bit," Ryan replied. "There's a trail." "Okay. But... this time, how about we get out of the car on one side? I don't want to lose contact again." "Good idea," Ryan agreed. "Um... let's get out on my side, since your side is right up against the bushes. Here, take my hand, and..." They managed to clamber out of the vehicle without losing touch, and although it was awkward, it was far better than dealing with that vicious sick feeling. Lewis stretched once they were standing, letting one hand rest in the crook of Ryan's elbow and arching his back, hearing it pop. Ryan did the same, sighing happily and taking a deep breath. The air was smooth and clean, and it carried the somehow secretive smells of a forest. Earth and leaves and the rustling sound of things growing. "Nice," Lewis said softly, staring up at the trees that towered over their heads. "Yeah, it is. C'mon, this way." Ryan led them to a fairly wide and accessible trail running off the side of the road. They walked slowly, taking time to look up at the huge trees on either side of the trail. Lewis exclaimed happily over a bunch of attractive looking flowers growing in a clump, and then Ryan pulled them up short by a tree stump. "What?" "Look at this," Ryan replied, pointing out a small, bushy plant with oval shaped leaves and little pink berries growing directly out of the tree stump. "What is it?" Lewis asked, peering suspiciously at the berries. "It's a huckleberry bush. Don't they have those in Ohio?" Lewis shrugged. "I dunno. What am I, Ranger Rick? And besides, aren't red berries supposed to be bad for you?" "No," Ryan said, giving his double an amused look. "What about strawberries? Or raspberries, or thimbleberries---" "What the hell is a thimbleberry?" Ryan shook his head. "Wow... you really are a city boy, aren't you? I grew up in Washington, and in the summer, we used to go out along the logging roads and pick berries, and my mom would make them into jams. Blackberries, wild strawberries, and especially thimbleberries. They were great. The leaves of a thimbleberry bush are big, and three-pointed, like a maple leaf, except they're really soft and fuzzy. I used to rub them along my cheek, and then I'd pick the berries and eat them." "Um... yeah," Lewis said, smiling in spite of his confusion. Ryan's eyes were happy and faraway, and Lewis could tell it was a good memory for him. "So you're saying that these, um... huckleberries, are good too?" Ryan grinned and picked one of the small, round, pink berries, putting it in his mouth and biting down. His lips puckered slightly, and he nodded. "Mmm... a little bit tart. Just how I like them. Try one!" he said encouragingly, pulling Lewis a little closer. "If I get sick from this crap---" "Then I'll be right there in the bathroom with you, won't I?" Ryan interrupted, smiling at his double. His lips and tongue were tinted a little pinker than usual from the huckleberries. "Now, look for the ones that are plump, and either red or dark pink. The white ones aren't ripe yet." Lewis frowned skeptically, but he picked a nice, red one and rolled it between his fingers. It was quite small, especially in his huge hands, about the size of a pea. Taking a deep breath, he shrugged and popped it in his mouth, chewing carefully. To his pleased surprise, it was actually quite good, a nice combination of tart and sweet. It made him think of pink lemonade. "Hey! Not bad," he said, picking a few more and eating them. "Told you so." Lewis stuck his tongue out at his twin, and said, "Hey Ryan, you like see-food?" "Dork," Ryan shot back, but he was grinning. They stood there picking and eating huckleberries for a few more minutes, just enjoying the quiet of the woods and the fact that they weren't cooped up in the house together. "Come on," Ryan said, when they'd both had enough of the juicy little berries. "I've gotta educate you about the woods." "Okay," Lewis replied dubiously, allowing the other man to guide him down the path. They walked side by side, their arms casually linked together. Over the past two days, they'd grown very comfortable with touching. They didn't really have any choice, after all. "See that?" Ryan pointed up to a tree with reddish bark and growth that wasn't leaves or pine needles, but something green and almost plastic looking, growing in a kind of spidery spray. "Yeah... what is it?" "That's a cedar. We have *tons* of them in Washington. Along with plenty of fir, pine, alder, cottonwood, maple... you name it, we've got it. They call it the Evergreen State for a reason, you know." Lewis nodded, running a hand over the bark as they passed. It seemed to grow in thick, chunky layers, and he could see oozing droplets of golden pitch seeping out of the cracks. The newest growth on the ends of the branches was a lighter green than the rest of it, and up close, it didn't look plastic at all. The tree had a refreshing scent that made him take a deep breath and smile. "You know what that one up there is?" Ryan asked, pointing to another tree. This one grew wide, spreading its branches umbrella-like, rather than growing straight up like the cedar, and its leaves were wavy and rounded. "Sure I do," Lewis replied. "That's an oak. Those, we do have in Ohio." Ryan nodded. "That's right. And over there, that's a maple. Oh, and an alder!" he added, grinning as he caught sight of the small, pale, spindly looking tree with the big oval shaped leaves. "Alder, huh... how the hell do you know all this stuff?" "My dad used to take me into the woods all the time. We would pick berries, like I was telling you about, for jams, or sometimes we would get wild mushrooms. Ever had a chanterelle? They're good. They look orange on the ground, and they're kind of wavy, and they taste great dried or cooked fresh. You can buy them at Pike Place Market, in Seattle, or you can just go out and pick them yourself. They grow wild, especially during fall, usually under leaves. And where there's one, there's a bunch. My dad always said that mushrooms were social plants. You never see just one by itself." Lewis nodded, grinning at his counterpart. Ryan was clearly in his element, and Lewis wondered why the man chose to live in the city when he was so much more at home in a place like this. Probably for his work, he supposed. "I can see why you like it up here," Lewis observed. "Yeah, it's great, isn't it? I've always loved the woods." "Yeah. I'm glad we came up here." Ryan nodded quickly, smiling at him, and Lewis had time to think about how rare it was to see a genuine, unrestrained grin from this man. "Come on," Ryan said, turning forward again. "I've still got to show you why we came in the first place." "Okay..." They walked on, and Lewis was aware of the light getting brighter. The trees seemed thinner up ahead, and he supposed they were coming to some kind of clearing. He stared straight up, loving the way that the overhanging branches looked, a latticework of green against the blue sky. He was still looking up when Ryan suddenly pulled him up short, and when he focused on what was in front of them he gasped and immediately clung to the man beside him, his eyes wide. They were on the edge of a cliff. The trees stopped abruptly, and there was a thin ledge covered with rocks and moss, and then there was just nothing but air. Ryan grinned and gently disentangled himself from the other man's arms. Lewis clutched at him, looking nervously at the drop. "Um... is this a good time to mention that I'm not very fond of heights?" he asked, his voice squeaking in his throat. "Easy," Ryan murmured. "Just sit down. It helps." "Uh-huh," Lewis replied skeptically, but he did as his double suggested. Ryan sank down beside him, in a place where the natural rock formation made a convenient kind of chair shape. The thick moss made the seat softer than it would be otherwise, and Ryan stretched his legs out, his sneakered feet hanging out over the drop. Lewis pulled a breath in through clenched teeth and said, "Um... could you not do that? Please?" Ryan chuckled and gently stroked the other man's back. Lewis leaned into his side, closing his eyes and trembling. "It's okay, Lewis. I know how you feel---it bothered me the first time I came out here, too. But just relax. We're perfectly safe, and it's beautiful. Look out, not down." "Easy for you to say," Lewis muttered, but he managed to pry his eyes open. There were rolling hills all around, covered with trees. He could see the shining silver ribbon of a river winding through the valley beneath them, and in the distance, the hazy gray-blue line of the ocean, overhung by the ubiquitous L.A. layer of yellow smog. "Hey," he said weakly. "I think I can see your house from here." Ryan laughed. "There you go, that's the spirit. And no, actually, you can see part of L.A. from here, but my house is behind us. Sometimes I bring binoculars up here and look for deer. Or a telescope, to look at the stars without all the city lights getting in the way." Lewis nodded, and as he concentrated on breathing and enjoying the view, his trembling eased. He still kept an arm wrapped firmly around Ryan's waist, though, and his stomach kept doing nervous things whenever he looked at the way the other man's shoes were hanging over thin air. "You all right?" Ryan asked solicitously. "If it really bothers you, we can just walk through the woods for a while or something." "It's okay," Lewis said quietly. "It's beautiful. How did you find this place?" Ryan shrugged. "Sheer luck. Actually, the first time I came here, I was walking through the woods and looking up, just like you were. I came damn close to going over the edge." Lewis shuddered, pressing a little tighter against his twin, and Ryan patted his back reassuringly. "This is my `thinking spot,' I guess. Not even Colin knows about it. You're the first one I've shown." "You should show Colin," Lewis murmured. "I think something like this should be shared." "Yeah," Ryan said. "It should. I'd like that." And in the back of his mind, a little clock ticked over, saying: `five more days. Just five more days. God, Colin, I miss you.' * * * TBC Part 10 "I'm running out of sick days," Eugene said, putting the phone down. He was smiling, trying to make it a joke, but Colin could see the worry in his dark eyes. "I'm sorry," he said automatically, patting the hand that was lodged securely in the crook of his elbow. Eugene shook his head. "Don't be. I'm having more fun now than I did on my last five vacations put together. You," he poked the center of Colin's chest, "are a very fast learner." Colin grinned, somehow managing to look sheepish and smug at the same time. "Well, I have a good teacher. And you really tend to emphasize that whole `learn by doing' thing. That works for me." "Mmm... well what you did last night certainly worked for me," Eugene murmured suggestively, leaning in to kiss the side of Colin's neck. Colin shivered, closing his eyes and swallowing quickly. "I noticed," he replied dryly as Eugene blew gently in his ear, tickling the fine hairs on the inner cup. Eugene laughed, pulling the other man in for a quick hug. "I did yell kinda loud, didn't I? Did you see the look the Schafers gave us this morning?" "They probably think we're perverted inbreeders or something." "Ah, so what if they do? It'll add some spice to their dinner conversation," Eugene said with perfect savor faire. Colin grinned at him, shaking his head. "Nothing gets to you, does it?" "Not if I can help it," Eugene replied brightly. "But... this *is* the third day in a row I've called in sick to work. I can't do it forever." Colin sighed and sank onto the couch, pulling the other man with him. "I know. And I'm not sure what to do. I have a lot of money in savings, plus my credit cards, all in my wallet, but..." "But they probably won't work," Eugene finished for him. "Yeah. We could give it a try, though. Maybe hit a mall or something?" Eugene cocked his head, giving his twin a piercing look. "You just want to go out and have everyone fuss over the `twins.'" "Well... okay, maybe I do," Colin admitted, grinning sheepishly. "I mean, sure we've been having fun here in your apartment together, but I've been in this universe for four days and all I've seen is Drew's house and the little walk between your apartment and your mailbox." "You feeling penned in?" Eugene asked sympathetically. "I can understand that. And it would be fun to go out, although I think we'd raise a few eyebrows if we were touching constantly." "Well... what if we don't have to? Maybe that whole sick thing isn't a factor anymore. We haven't broken contact since... hell, not since that first night, on the elevator." Eugene blinked, raising his eyebrows. "I hadn't thought of that. I... actually, I kind of hope that we have to keep touching. It's nice, in a way. Although it would be good to be able to go to the bathroom alone again," he added, smiling wryly. "Yeah, that it would." Colin could feel another blush rising to his cheeks at the turn their conversation was taking, and Eugene chuckled at him, shaking his head. "You blush *so* easily. You're like a catholic schoolgirl." Colin fluttered his eyelashes, deliberately putting on his best innocent face. "Yeah, and you're corrupting me." "I think you want to be corrupted," Eugene shot back, punctuating his remark with a light nibble on the other man's earlobe. "Mmm... it's the curse of the couch all over again," Colin murmured. "What?" "The couch." Colin waved a hand, indicating the soft, buttery leather couch that was really a glorified loveseat. "Have you noticed that we are often overcome on the couch?" Eugene grinned and started kissing a line down his double's throat, his hands moving to undo the buttons of his borrowed shirt. "Why do you think I bought this couch?" Colin didn't answer. His mouth was otherwise occupied. In the four days that he had been in Eugene's world, he had learned a great deal about the joys of really being himself. Being with another man was incredibly liberating, and incredibly *right.* `This is who I am,' Colin thought, over and over again. `This is who I always was, and I'm finally realizing it.' Then Eugene began another lesson, and thought stopped for a while. ~~~ "So," Colin said sleepily, "are we still going to go out today?" Eugene shrugged. He was lying sandwiched between Colin and the couch, and going out sounded like too much effort. Getting dressed sounded like too much effort. Hell, even opening his eyes required far too much energy. He knew that his relationship with Colin was purely physical, but it was *good.* They weren't in love, exactly... he still imagined Lewis when they were together, and Colin had a tendency to yell out "Ryan!" when he came, but what they did have was good. "Eugene?" "I dunno," he mumbled, nuzzling into the hollow of Colin's neck and smacking his lips happily. "Please? I... I really do want to get out. And if, by some miracle, I can access my money, we can have a really good dinner or something. Besides, we need groceries." Eugene sighed, stretching lazily and arching his back. "Okay. I kinda want to get some fresh air too. But we don't need groceries, do we? I just got some on Saturday, and usually they last me a week. It's only Wednesday." "Usually you're not feeding two people," Colin observed quietly. "Besides, I want to make my world famous chili rubbed chicken in garlic cream sauce for you." That was enough to make Eugene sit up and look curiously at his twin. "You can cook?" "Sure I can. I'm actually a very good cook," Colin replied. "I was even on a cooking show once, in Canada." "A cooking show. Will wonders never cease." "Oh, knock it off," Colin snorted, smacking Eugene lightly in the chest. "Consider it knocked. So, are we dressing alike?" At Colin's incredulous look, Eugene lifted his hands and said, "Hey, you're the one who wanted to get all the attention for being twins." "I think we'll get enough attention without that. But we still don't know if we have to be touching all the time." "Hmm... only one way to find out, I suppose," Eugene said slowly. Colin nodded, the laughter dropping from his eyes as he regarded the other man steadily. They disentangled their legs and sat up, side by side. They were both nude, but that didn't matter. They had grown comfortable enough around each other that they didn't have to feel self-conscious. "Okay," Colin said softly. His hand, lightly resting on Eugene's thigh, was the only contact between them. He took a moment to look at the other man, appreciating the view in a way that bordered on narcissistic. `Not half bad,' Colin thought. `I only hope Ryan likes it too.' Then, in a quick motion, like pulling off a band-aid, Colin yanked his hand away. Something like a full-body cramp seized him as all his muscles began to ache at once. He was reminded of the way he had felt one summer as a kid, when he had overdone it swimming in the lake and for several terrifying minutes, had thought that he would be too tired to make it back to shore. When he finally did get there, he had flopped on the ground and curled into a ball, his whole body trembling. Every single muscle had hurt in a kind of agonizing chorus, and his stomach had put him through several unsteady lurches before finally giving in and sending up his lunch of hot dogs and Doritos. "Col... have to..." Eugene was gasping, reaching for him with a violently shaking hand. He felt alarmingly weak. Breathing was very difficult, his chest constricted and painful, and he gagged miserably as his stomach roiled with nausea. "I know," Colin whispered through clenched teeth. His muscles felt locked in place, and he couldn't get his hand to move. Finally, he shifted his balance until he tilted and fell headfirst into the other man's lap. They both moaned in relief and sagged against the couch. "God... that was..." Eugene panted, wrapping trembling arms around his double and holding him tightly. Colin nodded, swallowing and burrowing against the other man's abdomen. "Let's not do that again." "No kidding." Eugene shut his eyes and pulled Colin up until they were sitting side by side again. He pressed his face into his twin's shoulder, and Colin mirrored the movement. They stayed like that until their breathing settled and the last chills left their skin. "It's so much stronger now," Colin whispered, biting his lip. "I noticed. I guess we keep touching, huh?" "Yeah. Look... if you don't want to go out---" "No, I want to," Eugene interrupted, quieting Colin with a fingertip pressed to his lips. "We'll just have to be careful." "Yeah." Colin suddenly laughed, and Eugene smiled slightly, not understanding. "What is it?" "Well, I was just thinking... we ought to handcuff ourselves together or something, just to make sure we don't get accidentally separated while we're out. But that would cause more problems than it would solve." Eugene raised an eyebrow. "Well, it so happens that I do have handcuffs---don't ask," he said, forestalling the question he saw in Colin's eyes. The other man subsided with a nod and a salacious grin that promised they'd be talking about the handcuffs again later. "Yeah, but if we wore them, we'd have some major hassles. There's lots of ways to touch besides holding hands, and we can use them all. We don't have to be confined to one way, which is what handcuffs would do," Colin said, bringing the conversation back on track. "True enough. It was an interesting image, though." "Mmm... no argument here." Colin idly brought one of Eugene's hands to his mouth and began nibbling the fingertips. He smiled slightly when he saw the other man shift out of the corner of his eye and heard him catch his breath. `I'm getting really good at this,' he thought. `I'm gonna knock Ryan's socks off.' "Let's just start with going for groceries," Eugene mumbled, his eyes half lidded as he concentrated on what Colin's talented mouth was doing to his sensitive fingertips. "Okay. We'll see how that goes, and maybe later we'll go catch a movie or something. Touching in a movie theater would be easy." Eugene nodded. "Sounds good. Shall we get dressed, or are you going to keep doing that until the curse of the couch strikes again?" Colin smiled around his mouthful of fingers, and then relented, pulling back. "We need to eat, so this will have to wait for later. But you owe me one." "Uh-huh..." They dressed easily, their movements coordinated and smooth. They had both grown quite adept at getting dressed and undressed, preparing and eating food, and all manner of personal hygiene activities, all while touching. Eugene thought that it was really amazing how adaptable people could be when the situation forced it. In the car, Colin stared quietly out the window. He had actually never been to Cleveland before, and while it wasn't exactly L.A., or even Toronto, it wasn't that bad. He was just glad to be out of the apartment. It was raining again, and as he watched the water pool and ripple along the window, he was reminded of the last time he had been in this car. He thought of how he had told Eugene, `I'm not gay,' so flat and certain. He marveled at how quickly things could change, and how much better they could get. "You're smiling," Eugene said, giving him a sideways look. "I'm happy." Colin spoke simply, contentedly. "I know I have a lot to face when I get back there, but at least I *am* facing things now, instead of hiding from them." "Been there, done that," Eugene replied softly. "It's great, isn't it?" "Yes. Yes it is." They rode to the local Foodland in companionable silence, Colin's hand lightly curled around Eugene's thigh. They drew a few odd looks when they both climbed out of the driver's side of Eugene's little Honda, their hands linked together tightly, but most people didn't really pay them much attention. "Here we go," Colin murmured, linking his arm with Eugene's and walking toward the big, automatic sliding glass doors. "Prepare to be stared at." "Hey, you're the big TV star. You should be used to being stared at," Eugene said, speaking out of the side of his mouth like an actor in a prison movie. "Some things, you never get used to." They got a few odd looks and double-takes as they entered the store, and Eugene ducked his head, swallowing nervously. Colin leaned into his side, gently nudging him with a shoulder. "It's okay. Just keep moving, and ignore them." "I'm trying. I... I don't really like being stared at," Eugene whispered, scowling deeply and hunching his shoulders. "Hey, just think how it would be if we dressed alike," Colin quipped, and to his relief, he actually got a smile out of his double. Their clothing was fairly similar---they were both wearing jeans, but Colin's were dark blue and Eugene's were a more faded gray. Colin wore a tan shirt with an open windbreaker, and Eugene had on a sweater-vest combination similar to the one he had worn to the party at Drew's house four days ago. "Yeah, I'm glad we didn't do that. But I think we're getting more odd looks because we're touching than because we look alike." Eugene suddenly paused, and the look on his face made Colin think of cartoons where a character gets an idea and a light bulb appears over their head. "What is it?" "Do you have any sunglasses?" Eugene asked. They were standing in the entrance of the supermarket, by the shopping carts, and people were streaming around them and giving both of them odd glances. Colin mirrored the expression, tilting his head and smiling a puzzled little half-smile. "What? You want me to wear sunglasses in a grocery store? I won't be able to see anything." "That's the idea. If you wear sunglasses, and you're holding onto my arm..." "People will think I'm blind," Colin finished, nodding in understanding. "Okay, lemme see... this is your jacket, after all." He fished around in the pockets of the windbreaker and came up with a pair of small, wire rimmed sunglasses with round, slightly blue tinted lenses. Colin smiled wryly and slipped them on, squinting around at a suddenly blue colored world. "I look like Elton John." "I think you look very cute," Eugene smirked, patting him on the head like a puppy. "Knock it off," Colin shot back, but he was giggling. "Come on, let's get some food. And don't let me run into anyone, okay?" "Okay," Eugene agreed, and they were off. With the sunglasses, they had a good excuse for their linked arms, and Eugene felt a little better about the occasional stares they got. Colin directed them, for the most part. His selection of food was much different from Eugene's usual instant soup and frozen pizza. They actually spent quite a while in the fresh produce section. Colin was happily thumping cantaloupes while Eugene watched, smiling and shaking his head, when they were approached by a young man in a rather stark, old fashioned suit. "Excuse me, but could I speak to you for a moment?" he asked, tugging on Eugene's sleeve to get their attention. Both men turned to him, but Colin remembered to look over the young man's shoulder, acting like he couldn't see. Eugene frowned and leaned a little closer into his double's side, taking both of them a step back. There was something about this stranger that he didn't like. He wasn't overly thin, but he had a hungry face, and a very intense gaze, and he was standing a little too close. "Yes?" Eugene asked, smiling politely. "Have you heard about Samuel? He heals, you know," the young man said quickly, his words tripping together in their effort to escape his mouth. Colin almost turned to exchange a glace with Eugene, but caught himself in time. "Um... excuse me?" he said slowly, offering a puzzled smile to the stranger. "Samuel. He is a miracle sent from God, and he heals. He could heal your blindness, my brother. If you could just come to our meeting place and join us in support of our church, you could join the ranks of the healed." This time, Colin did look at Eugene; he couldn't help it. Eugene was nodding in a knowing, tired way. "For a small donation, right?" The man, whose face made Colin think of a whippet, stiffened, pulling back and glaring at both of them. "I said no such thing. You disgrace the miracle of Samuel with your skepticism," he hissed. "Cynical non-believers! When the time comes, you will reap your rewards!" "Uh... yeah," Colin said, fighting back the urge to laugh nervously. The whole thing was absurd, but the young man was oddly frightening all the same. He leaned forward, and Colin actually flinched, for a moment completely certain that he was going to go for their throats like a rabid dog. "You two share a soul," the man whispered, giving them a look that was almost a smile. "The Lord says that those such as you cannot live. You are one person, split into halves, and that leaves each of you less than a man. You are half-souled demons." Then he spun on his heel and stalked down the aisle, leaving Colin and Eugene gaping after him, wide-eyed and shaken. "Wow..." "Yeah," Colin murmured, wrapping an arm around Eugene's waist and holding him tightly for a moment. "That was seriously weird." "He was just a nut." Eugene followed the strange young man with his eyes, watching him approach a young woman whose son was in a wheelchair. "I've seen bottom feeders like him around here before. They con people who are desperate for any kind of answers, make a bunch of false promises, and take their money." Colin nodded slowly. "Sure. He... he was just saying that thing about sharing a soul because we look alike, right?" "Um... yeah. Of course he was. It's not like he could *know* or anything..." "Let's finish shopping," Colin said, shivering. "I think I want to go home." * * * TBC Part 11 "Holy shit, you weren't kidding." Ryan and Lewis exchanged a grin. They were sitting in Drew's office in the production studio for the Drew Carey Show. Bruce Helford, the executive producer, and Robert Borden, the director, were gaping at them. "They really do look alike," Robert continued, looking back and forth between the two men as if he couldn't quite believe his eyes. "Where did you find such a great body double?" Drew smiled slightly. "He just showed up on the set one day. So, are we on for the Sunday broadcast?" Bruce looked at the director quickly, and then nodded. "Yeah, we've managed to talk ABC into another live show, since the first one pulled pretty good ratings. Plus, we promised them a special twist. I guess you two are it," he added, looking at the two identical men on the couch. "Great," Ryan said, nodding happily. "I've been talking to the writers, and we have this whole plot developed that involves the two of us being handcuffed together." Lewis smiled to himself---that would give them an excuse to be touching all the time. "Well, you better hurry," Bruce said, chewing worriedly on the end of a pencil. The poor, innocent writing utensil looked like it had seen better days, and Lewis got the feeling that this guy had a nervous habit of chewing on things. "I mean, today is Friday, so you've only got two days to pull together a show." "Don't worry," Drew interjected, "they'll have something good. Right?" He looked pointedly at Ryan and Lewis, who gave him identical reassuring smiles. They were sitting close enough on the couch that their shoulders and knees touched, which left their hands free. Neither man had any desire to find out how much worse the penalty for not touching had become. "Okay, well, Ryan and... I'm sorry, I didn't catch your name," Robert said, looking curiously at Lewis. "Um... Mike," Lewis replied, his eyes bright with suppressed laughter. "Okay, Mike. I don't know how you did it, but you've managed to make yourself look *exactly* like Ryan. Do you have any experience with acting?" Lewis looked at Ryan helplessly, raising his eyebrows. "Uh... we won't be giving him many lines," Ryan said quickly. "He's mostly just there for the comic purposes of having two of me." "Okay." Robert's pager suddenly went off, and he pulled it off his belt, peering at the little display intently. "Oh, damn, I'm late. I'll need to see the script for Sunday's show by five today at the latest, all right?" "Sure, Rob," Drew said quickly. "We'll get it to you." "Fine. I'll see you guys later. It was nice meeting you, um... Mike." Rob paused, turning toward the two lanky men on the couch, and made a sort of quick, abortive movement with one hand. Ryan had to suppress a grin as he realized that their director wanted to shake "Mike's" hand, but didn't know which one he was. Apparently realizing that asking would make him look silly, Rob just waved awkwardly and left. Ryan and Lewis looked at each other and grinned slowly, their eyes sparkling. Drew chuckled at them, until Bruce cleared his throat impatiently. "Look, maybe Rob and ABC bought this thing about a body double, but I don't. Nobody has that kind of resemblance just by coincidence. And I know Ryan doesn't have a twin. So what's going on here?" Ryan swallowed, blinking up at the executive producer, at a loss for words. His mind raced quickly, telling him to `just improvise something, you idiot! It's what you do, isn't it?' Lewis nudged him gently with an elbow to keep him quiet, and then smiled confidently up at Bruce and told the truth. "Okay, you got us. You see, I'm actually the real Lewis Kiniski. I gave my name as Mike because it's a shortening of my middle name, Michaelangelo. This show created a bubble universe, and all the characters are actual people in that universe. Then, last week, the live broadcasting caused a breach in the barrier between the universes and I was pulled here, while your Colin Mochrie was sent to my universe in my place. Now we have to do another live broadcast in order for us to switch back." Bruce stared at him, shaking his head slowly, his jaw hanging open. Then he burst into laughter, slapping the surface of Drew's desk and squeezing his eyes shut. "Oh man... oh, you had me going there. If that's an indication of your comic acting skills, you should do just fine on Sunday." Lewis just grinned happily, raising his eyebrows at his twin, who was gaping at him and slowly blinking. "But really, what did you do, have plastic surgery or something? I mean, the resemblance is downright uncanny." Lewis just shrugged, smiling enigmatically, and Bruce sighed, accepting that he wasn't going to find out. "All right," he said. "You two work with Drew and the writers and come up with something good. I want to see it before it goes to Rob. And I've got to get going. Nice meeting you... `Lewis.'" He laughed again, shaking his head as he walked out. Ryan sighed in relief and sagged against the couch, letting his head drop onto the other man's shoulder. Lewis laughed, slipping an arm around Ryan's shoulders and squeezing him gently. "That was acting?" he asked nonchalantly. "Easy job you guys have." Drew dissolved into giggles at the look on Ryan's face. "You've gotta admit, Ryan, he's got you there. That was great. He just rolled all that crap out with a perfectly straight face." "That's because it was true!" Ryan sputtered indignantly. "What happened to the twin story?" "This is better," Lewis said calmly. "If you don't tell people something, they'll just fill in the story with their own assumptions. They'll trust whatever they came up with much more than anything they're fed, because people ultimately want to believe that they're smarter than everyone else." Ryan goggled at his double, and then said, "Wow. I'm impressed, Lewis." "Oh... come on. Quit it." Lewis was ducking his head, grinning sheepishly, and Ryan saw with something like delight that he was actually *blushing.* "No way! That was really clever, and very insightful. When did you get so smart?" "You know what?" Lewis asked suddenly, a strange kind of half smile on his face. "What?" "I think that's the first time anyone's ever called me smart, without adding `ass' on the end of it." Ryan laughed, hugging his double impulsively. Five days of constant contact had lowered his inhibitions about physical affection to a great degree. Drew just watched the two of them, looking both amused and slightly uncomfortable. "I think you two are getting a little nuts," he said, shaking his head. "What have you been doing with yourselves?" Ryan shrugged. "Not much. We drove around a little bit---outside the city," he quickly added, putting a hand up to stop Drew's objection. "Mostly we've been hanging out at home. I'm teaching him about cooking and trees and improv, and he's teaching me about all the weird shit that goes on at DrugCo. You know what that place does with---" Lewis clapped a hand across Ryan's mouth, giving him a pointed look. "That's a top secret project," he hissed. "People have disappeared for talking about it." Ryan raised his eyebrows and gently pushed the other man's hand away. "Then why did you tell me about it?" "Well, I couldn't tell anyone else, and I wanted to talk about it. I figured you're never going to go there, so it would be okay." "Well, Drew's never going to go there either," Ryan pointed out. "And if that place is even half as creepy as you make it out to be, then you need to find another job." Lewis sighed ruefully. "I may have to anyway. They're not going to be too happy that I didn't show up for work all week." "Nah, it'll be okay. We'll write some great new job into the show for you," Ryan said reassuringly. "You don't need to be spending your days cleaning up monkey feces and elephant afterbirth anyway." Ryan shuddered, grimacing at the thought. "You're a smart guy. You should have more of a career." "That would be nice." Lewis sounded wistful, and Ryan tilted his head, giving his double a curious look. "Something wrong?" "I dunno," Lewis replied, shrugging. "Maybe I'm just getting a little homesick. I like California, and you're a great guy, Ryan, but I miss my friends. Oswald and Drew... the other Drew, that is, and... and Eugene." "Eugene?" Drew asked, frowning. "He's hardly ever on the show. I didn't think you two knew each other that well." "We do have lives outside of what happens on the show," Lewis said, perhaps a little sharply. "Eugene works at Winfred-Louder, and he lives not that far away from where Oswald and I live. And he's really nice, and funny, and he doesn't treat me like an idiot. I see him at the Warsaw a lot, or down at the bowling alley, or just around town. It's not that big of a place, you know. We tend to run in the same circles." "Okay, okay." Drew waved his hands to calm Lewis' increasingly defensive tone. "Maybe we should have him on the show more often, if you two have such great chemistry." "That's just because Col and I have that chemistry." Ryan bit his lip for a moment, the familiar tug of worry grabbing at his stomach again. "He's fine," Lewis said, guessing the run of his twin's thoughts. "And in just two days, you'll get to see him again, and I'll get to go home and see my version again." "Two more days," Ryan echoed softly. They fell quiet for a moment, both staring off into space and imagining the moment when they could switch back and the craziness would be over. Then Ryan shook himself and sighed heavily, forcing a smile onto his face. "Come on," he said. "Let's go get some lunch. And I'll explain to you how huckleberries can tell you what your elevation is." "With huckleberries?" Lewis cocked his head, smiling curiously, and they rose off the couch together in a smooth, simultaneous motion. "You guys are getting good at that," Drew observed, raising an eyebrow. "Do you really have to touch all the time?" "Yes," they replied in unison, and then grinned at each other. "Jinx," Ryan said quickly, and Lewis snapped his fingers in an `oh, darn,' kind of gesture. They both laughed, and Drew rolled his eyes. "Um... okay, I think you two are getting a little *too* close." "We have to," Ryan replied, shrugging. "When you're penned in with someone all the time, if you don't laugh a lot, you'll go nuts. We did fight a little at first, but now we're actually getting used to it. To tell the truth... I'm going to miss this guy." "Awww... I'll miss you too, you big skinny goof. But I won't miss the showers," Lewis remarked, and Drew snorted in disbelief. "You're kidding me. You two are actually *showering* together?" "Sure. What part of `touch constantly or get sick' do you not understand?" Lewis managed to sound perfectly calm, without a trace of embarrassment, and Ryan smiled at him, thinking that his double had gained a lot of confidence over the past week. "Man..." Drew simply shook his head. "I can see why you're so eager to switch back. If I had to shower with Ryan, I think I'd shoot myself." "Don't tempt me," Ryan said sardonically, but he was still smiling. The prospect of seeing Colin in two days filled him with an excitement that bordered on the euphoric. Ryan knew that he was probably putting more importance on Colin's return than it really warranted, but he couldn't help being worried about his friend. And he still wanted to ask Col what was going on between him and Deb. "See you later, Drew," Lewis called over his shoulder as they walked out of the office, Ryan's arm casually thrown around his shoulders. "Yeah, bye. Have fun at lunch." Drew watched them go, and then shook his head again, muttering, "Showers and huckleberries. They're nuts." ~~~ "So where are we going for lunch?" Lewis asked, after they had climbed into the car and left the parking lot. He was in his usual riding position, his long legs stretched out in front of him and one hand lightly resting on Ryan's knee. "I thought we'd go to this place that I really like---it's called Pepper's Forty Niners, and they make just about the best clam chowder in the universe. No matter which universe you happen to be in," he added with a wry smile. "Hmm... that sounds good. But are we actually eating in? Is that wise?" "Ah, fuck it," Ryan said suddenly. "Let's be unwise. I'm sick of takeout." Lewis raised his eyebrows, but said nothing. This was Ryan's town, after all. If he wanted to risk being seen and having to answer awkward questions, it was his decision. Besides, Lewis was sick of takeout too. Ryan's route took them to the outskirts of the city and a building that was a strange amalgamation of log construction and cinderblocks. The parking lot had an assortment of vehicles, but none of them were anywhere near as nice as Ryan's Miata. Lewis recognized the extra long parking spaces designed for tractor- trailers with a nostalgic smile. The place reminded him of the kinds of places his parents would take him as a kid. "This restaurant is a little below your price range, isn't it?" he asked dryly. "I like it that way," Ryan replied, reaching for his hand so they could get out of the car. "And they have great food. It's not five star cuisine, but it's a lot better than fast food. Better *for* you, too. Healthier." "Okay..." Lewis sounded dubious, but he let himself be pulled out of the car, and they automatically linked their arms together as they walked toward the strange looking building. It wasn't that far off the interstate, and there was a big sign that declared it as `Peper's 49ers.' "They spelled pepper wrong," Lewis remarked, craning his head to look at the sign as they passed by it. "No they didn't. That's deliberate. Something about the guy who owns the place. If you look on the menu, everywhere the word `pepper' would appear, they spell it that way." "Huh," Lewis replied musingly, and then they were inside. The place was small, but clean, and actually pretty nice. Paintings by local artists adorned the rough wooden walls, each one framed in gray driftwood with a small price tag in the bottom corner. Most of the seating was arranged in booths, and most of those booths were full. The restaurant seemed to be quite popular. "Look at this." Ryan pointed, and Lewis raised his eyebrows when he saw that the entryway was plastered with business cards. Attached to the wall with a wide variety of tacks and staples, the cards were jammed in edge to edge, top to bottom and left to right. The wall was literally papered with them. "Wow..." "Free advertising. The owner lets businesses put their cards up there for free. It's become part of the signature style of this place. Most people, after they finish their meal, come here and look over the cards for a while. Or they look while they're waiting to be seated. The businesses get more customers, and in return, they hold more of their lunch meetings here." "Sounds like a good deal," Lewis remarked, nodding. "Yep." Just then, a smiling young woman came up to them and led them to an empty booth. They settled into it---on separate sides, so as to not draw attention. They kept their hands linked until their legs could touch under the table. The waitress gave them a puzzled look, but she had lived in southern California long enough to not be very phased by the odd behavior. "Here you go," she said, handing them both menus. "Can I get you two anything to drink?" "Pepsi," Ryan replied, and Lewis nodded, telling her to give him one too. She carefully wrote their order down on her pad and stuck it back in her red apron, then dashed off to take care of someone else in the busy restaurant. She looked all of seventeen---and that was with makeup. Lewis watched her go, and then grinned at his double. "I think she likes you." "Oh, please," Ryan muttered. "I have a daughter who is almost her age." "I thought Mackenzie was only eight." "Yeah, but she seems to think she's older. And I swear Pat encourages her. She takes Mac shopping and gets her all these outfits that are *way* too old for her. Those shirts that show the belly, and little shorts that might as well be underwear. I try to ask Pat to dress her a little more conservatively, but she tells me that raising the kids is her area." Lewis frowned, hearing the tension and resentment in Ryan's voice. "That bothers you, doesn't it?" Ryan nodded, his eyes troubled. "Of course it does! They're my kids too, you know. And I love them to death, I really do. But sometimes I think... nah, never mind." "No, tell me, what?" "Well... okay, this is silly," Ryan said, sighing. "But sometimes... sometimes I think that maybe Pat doesn't want them to like me. I feel like she's resentful of me having a job and a career, while she takes care of them. She makes me the bad guy, the one who tells them no, they can't have things, while she spoils them. It's like her way of getting back at me for saddling her with the kids in the first place." "But she could go have a job if she wanted to, couldn't she?" Lewis asked. "I know you must make enough so that she doesn't have to work, but she could, right?" "Sure she could! And I don't know why she doesn't. She's always complaining about being bored at home while I'm off fooling around with Colin. That's how she puts it. I'm not working, I'm `fooling around with Colin.'" Lewis shook his head. "That's messed up. I mean, you must have worked really hard to get where you are now." "Yeah, I did." Ryan was about to continue, but that was when their young waitress came back, asking for their orders. Ryan ordered a bowl of clam chowder and a roast beef sandwich, and Lewis followed suit, trusting his double's judgment. The waitress giggled, opened her mouth to say something about identical men making identical orders, and then thought better of it and just smiled at them. "Sounds like marriage isn't all it's cracked up to be," Lewis said sympathetically once they were alone again. Ryan shrugged, staring moodily into his soda. "I guess. I'm probably just reading more into things than is really there. I'm sure she wouldn't intentionally try to turn my kids against me." "You don't sound very sure," Lewis observed softly, and Ryan sighed, his shoulders drooping. "Yeah, well... I'm not. But what can I do? Marriage is permanent, you know." Lewis was about to suggest that marriage was not, in fact, permanent, when a sudden piercing squeal of excitement cut across the low chatter in the restaurant. "Oh my God, it's Ryan! Oh, WOW!" Lewis and Ryan both looked up suddenly, and saw a gaggle of girls coming their way. They all looked to be around the age of fifteen, and they were zeroing in on Ryan like a guided missile. "Uh-oh," Ryan muttered, ducking his head. Lewis followed suit, but it was too late. They had been spotted, and no amount of subtle hints were going to sway these girls. "There's *two* of them," one of the girls said suddenly, and they all stopped short, gaping at the two men. Lewis waved weakly, and then quickly dropped his hand, feeling foolish. "Um... hi," Ryan said, and beside him, Lewis closed his eyes and wished he were somewhere else. * * * TBC Part 12 "Shit," Colin muttered under his breath, glaring at the words on the ATM screen. "It's okay," Eugene said, patting the other man on the back. "We knew it probably wouldn't work anyway." Colin nodded, and then pulled his card out and stuck it in again anyway. They were at a convenience store ATM that was between the grocery store and their house. After the unnerving episode with the strange, whippet-faced young man, they had completed their shopping quickly, and Eugene had paid for the groceries with a check. But on the way home, Colin had spotted a sign that said ATM, and remembered why they had come out in the first place. The machine beeped at him and spit his card back out, the words `INVALID ACCOUNT' flashing on the screen. "Colin... come on. The ice cream will melt if we don't get it home." "That is not home!" Colin yelled suddenly, kicking the base of the ATM machine. People in the little convenience store turned to stare at him, and then quickly looked away, keeping their heads down. To them, he looked like someone who should be avoided. Eugene stared at his double, his eyes wide and slightly hurt, and Colin relented, sighing and shaking his head. "I'm sorry. I just..." He couldn't explain it, but he was suddenly on the edge of tears. His throat felt tight and achy, and his eyes were hot and prickling with moisture. "Okay. Come on, let's get out of here," Eugene murmured, wrapping an arm around the other man's waist and guiding him back out to the car. Colin let himself be led, but he kept his focus on the ground, watching his feet carry him along and blinking rapidly. Eugene let him stay quiet in the car, and they rode back to his apartment in a kind of uneasy silence. Colin was beginning to feel guilty about his outburst, and that wasn't improving his mood any. By the time they actually pulled into the little parking garage, he was sniffing and scrubbing at his face, trying to keep it dry. "Come on," Eugene said softly, taking Colin's hand so they could get out of the car. Colin followed numbly, and when they were standing by the open driver's door, he started to move toward the trunk so they could start bringing the groceries in. Eugene stopped him and held him still, pinning him gently against the side of the little Honda. "What are you doing?" Colin mumbled, swallowing and staring with careful, deliberate focus at one of the concrete pillars holding the parking garage up. He felt certain that if he looked straight at Eugene's soft, sympathetic gaze, he would lose it completely. Eugene didn't reply. Instead, he wrapped his arms around the other man and held him tightly, one hand pressing against the back of Colin's head and encouraging him to bury his face in Eugene's shoulder. Colin resisted for a token moment, and then caved in, slumping against him and releasing the chokehold of his emotions. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry," he mumbled over and over again into Eugene's neck. "It's okay. Ssshh... it's okay. Just relax." "The ice cream will melt," Colin protested weakly, and Eugene hugged him a little tighter, laughing quietly. "Fuck the ice cream." Despite himself, Colin laughed too, a weak, watery sound. Eugene pulled back until they were facing each other, and kissed him, long and sweet. Colin responded with a sudden passion that surprised even himself, breathing raggedly, his chest still hitching. "I don't know what's wrong with me," Colin whispered, closing his eyes and burrowing against Eugene's shoulder again. "It's just a stupid ATM card, and we figured it wouldn't work anyway. It's no reason to start crying like a baby." "It's been a long day," Eugene replied, stroking the other man's back in long, slow movements. "We're both tired, hungry, and still a little freaked out over that weird guy in the grocery store. I think that for you, the card not working was just the last straw." Colin nodded, his chest lifting in a long, shuddering sigh. "It's like... it's just more proof that I don't belong here. This isn't my home. I don't even exist here, and... and I want to go home!" His voice cracked slightly, and Eugene made shushing noises, rocking him gently against the side of the car. "But that... that might never happen," Colin continued. "What if they can't make us switch back? We can't go on like this forever, Eugene. Eventually, you have to go back to work, and I... God, there's nothing I can do. Improv is really my only talent, and if I don't have Ryan to open the door for me..." "It'll be okay." Eugene framed Colin's face in his hands and lightly kissed his forehead, smiling his best smile. His expressive eyes worked wonders, and Colin smiled back, albeit weakly. "You think so?" "Sure I do. Your friends will figure something out. And don't worry about me going back to work. I... I kinda told them that I'd be in tomorrow." Colin raised his eyebrows. "Um... is that going to work?" Eugene shrugged, idly rubbing the center of the other man's chest with his knuckles. "I don't know. But we can do pretty much everything else while touching, why can't we do this? It is a desk job, after all." "Uh-huh... and you don't think it'll make anyone think twice when there are suddenly two of you?" "Not really," Eugene replied, smiling ruefully. "I actually doubt that anyone will notice. I'm pretty much invisible in that place." Colin could see the undertone of hurt in his double's eyes, and he tightened his arms, nuzzling Eugene's neck. "I think they'll notice. But even if they don't, we'll have fun there tomorrow. Don't they say that two heads are better than one?" "Sure," Eugene said, catching his breath as Colin's nuzzling turned from friendly to something a bit more heated. "Come on, buddy. Let's get these groceries upstairs, and you can show me how to really... `cook.'" Colin nodded and quickly wiped the last of the tears off his face. He helped Eugene unfold a little rolling cart that had been tucked away in the corner of his trunk, and they loaded it with the groceries. They walked away from the car together, and although Colin felt a lot better, the little flutter of disquiet in his stomach refused to die down entirely. `Quit worrying about it,' he told himself. `They'll find a way to bring you back home, and Ryan will be right there, waiting for you. Just take it one day at a time.' They spent a happy evening together. Colin taught Eugene how to make his chili rubbed chicken with garlic cream sauce, and Eugene taught Colin that it was unwise to rub your eyes when you have chili powder on your fingers. They ended up making a huge mess in the kitchen, enjoying the hell out of the delicious dinner, and using the strawberries Colin had selected as part of some rather creative foreplay. When the alarm went off the following morning, two identical heads lifted up to stare at it blearily. They were pleasantly tangled together on the bed, Colin lying almost on top of the other man with his head pillowed on the soft place where his shoulder met his neck. Bed always seems to feel the most comfortable in the morning, when you have to leave it, and this morning was no exception. "Nine to five," Colin mumbled. "I forgot that's how most of the world works." "Yeah, you big spoiled TV star, welcome to reality," Eugene teased, whispering the words in Colin's ear and adding a light nibble on his earlobe. "Reality is overrated." "Tell me about it," Eugene replied wryly. "But we've all gotta face it someday. Now come on... you don't want to be late, do you?" Colin sighed, rubbing his cheek against the soft pillow one last time before taking the other man's hand and sitting up. "If I said yes, would it matter?" "Fraid not, sahib." "Sahib? What the hell is that?" Eugene laughed. "It's what a friend of mine used to call me. Well... what he called everyone, actually. The man had absolutely no memory for names, so he always said either sahib or hero." "And for me, you felt that sahib was more appropriate, huh?" Colin asked, raising an eyebrow. Eugene just smirked at him, and pulled both of them to their feet. Slipping an arm around Colin's waist, he gave the other man a light smack on the ass and ushered him toward the shower. "Come on, time to get civilized... sahib." ~~~ "Wow... this place looks different when it's not a TV set," Colin said softly, staring up at the vaulted ceiling of the main Winfred Louder sales floor. "What is it that you do again?" "I'm an accountant for marketing and research. Up on the fifth floor," he added with a touch of pride. "All right then, I guess you should show me the ropes." Colin looked around, trying to convince himself that the milling crowds of shoppers and salespeople weren't extras in a scene. His actor's mind was looking at all of them talking and adding up the cost---for an extra to merely appear in a scene costs about thirty dollars, but if that extra speaks, even a single word, the price goes up over a hundred. "What are you thinking about?" Eugene asked as they moved toward the elevators. Colin shrugged, shaking himself slightly. "I don't know. Just stuff, I guess." "Mmm-hmm. Well, don't. You're a middle manager now---thinking isn't generally part of the job description." Colin laughed, but a sliver of ice shot through his stomach all the same. `You're a middle manager now,' Eugene had said. But he wasn't... right? This was just temporary. Of course it was. `Ryan will figure out a way to get me home,' Colin told himself firmly. `Sure he will. I can always trust Ryan.' When the elevator doors opened on the fifth floor, Colin didn't recognize it at first. It wasn't until they rounded a corner and started down the hall that the surroundings fell into place. He was in the familiar `Drew's Cubicle' environment, except that it was all real. Right down to the troll dolls on Mimi's desk and the stuffed Dilbert doll sitting on Drew's filing cabinet like some kind of plush cartoon overseer. "Hey, Drew," Eugene said, stopping them in front of his desk. Drew blinked up at them, his eyes lingering for a moment on the way that their arms were casually linked. "Um... hi... Eugene?" He hesitated, looking back and forth between the two men. They were both wearing suits and ties, minus the jackets, but the clothes were a different color and Eugene had opted to wear his glasses today, while Colin kept the contacts. "Over here," Eugene said, waving his free hand and smiling. "I just wanted to stop by and say I'm sorry about missing the last three days. It's been... a complicated situation." Drew nodded quickly, and Colin thought wryly that this Drew was considerably more easygoing than the Drew from his world. Or maybe it was just the difference in confidence between being a middle manager and a successful TV star. "Uh... why did you both come in?" he asked curiously. "We have to stay together," Colin replied helpfully. "Remember? We get sick if we're separated." "Oh yeah... still? I thought that might go away or something." Eugene sighed, shaking his head. "No, actually, it's gotten worse. If we stop touching for even a second, we feel really terrible." "And you can work like that?" Drew asked, frowning and absently pushing his glasses up on his nose with one hand. "Sure. We've gotten pretty used to it, actually. And I can't stay away from work forever. Thanks for giving me the extra sick days, by the way," Eugene added. "Oh, sure, no problem. I'll call down to office supplies and get you guys another desk chair too, so... Colin, was it?" Colin nodded, forcing a sweet smile. It was unnerving to have someone he'd known for years not recognize him, even if this wasn't the same Drew. Drew returned the smile with his trademark triangular grin, and said, "Yeah, so, a chair for you too, Colin. Um... I have to warn you, I can't really pay both of you if you're only doing one job. I might be able to find another position for you, Colin, but if you have to be touching Eugene all the time..." "Don't worry," Colin said quickly. "It's only until Ryan and Lewis find a way to bring me back there." A shadow crossed over Drew's face at the mention of his missing friend. "So you still don't have any way to get back on your own?" He sighed, shaking his head and frowning at the surface of his desk. "Damn... we're all pretty worried about Lewis. How much longer do you think it'll take?" Colin and Eugene exchanged a long look. Colin bit his lip, staring at the floor, and Eugene leaned a little closer to him, shifting his arm so that it went around the other man's waist. "We don't know," he said. "But we're hoping it'll be pretty soon. I know you want Lewis back, and so do I. And Colin wants to go home. We just have to be patient and believe that they're going to figure something out." "Okay," Drew sighed. "And in the meantime, just tell everyone you're brothers or something, okay? If you start saying a whole bunch of multiple universe crap, I'll have to send you to the store shrink." Eugene and Colin nodded together, and just then, Mimi came walking down the hall. She stopped short when she saw the two identical men, and then smirked at Drew. "What's the matter, pig? Didja have to get two of them because one wasn't enough to reach around you?" Drew smiled wickedly, narrowing his eyes. "Yeah, that's right, Mimi. These are my two identical gay lovers, and we're planning to have a threesome right here on my desk. Want to watch?" He began pulling at his shirt like he was going to take it off, and Mimi shrieked, covering her eyes and running away. Colin laughed, slumping against his double, who merely shook his head slowly. Drew gave them a puzzled look, lingering especially on Colin, who was giggling in helpless, breathy spurts. "It doesn't take much to make you laugh, does it?" Drew asked, smiling slightly. "It's just... you two... so funny. Best part of the show, I swear," he sputtered, still leaning heavily against Eugene. "And if you knew how nice Kathy is, I think you'd have a heart attack." Drew cocked his head. "Who's Kathy?" "She's the one who plays Mimi, on your show. And she's really very nice. When she's not in character, she dresses normally and hardly wears any makeup." Drew sat down quickly, his eyes wide behind the black-framed glasses. "Mimi without her makeup?" He shuddered, and then removed his glasses, patting his eyes with his small, thick-fingered hands. "Don't worry guys, I'd never subject you to that." Colin giggled again, aware that he was skating along the edge of something like hysteria but unable to help it. "She actually looks nice without the makeup. More natural. You and she are good friends." "We are not!" Drew cried indignantly. "You take that back!" Eugene actually had to catch Colin as he collapsed into giggles again. He carefully set the laughing man in the chair that Drew's interviewees normally sat in, and wrapped his arms around Colin's shoulders. Colin laughed into Eugene's chest, his whole body shaking. "Jeez, Col... take it easy. It's not that funny," Eugene said. He was smiling slightly just because laughter is contagious, but his eyes were worried. "I know, I know," Colin sputtered breathlessly. "I'm just... it's all so different! It's the people I know, the set I know, but it's not! And I don't know why, but it's funny!" Drew frowned, replacing his glasses and staring intently at Colin. "He's getting hysterical. You need to calm him down somehow." Eugene nodded distractedly, staring down at the man giggling in his arms. He grasped Colin's shoulders and shook him gently, but he only relaxed and moved with the shaking, his head flopping bonelessly. His eyes were beginning to water, and his cheeks were getting very red. Biting his lip, Eugene shrugged, took a deep breath, and slapped him across the face. "Ow!" he cried, putting a hand to his cheek and frowning resentfully up at Eugene. "What was that for?" "Are you okay now?" Eugene asked, lifting the other man's chin with a cupped hand and staring into his deep brown eyes. Colin blinked, and then took a deep, shuddering breath. He wiped the tears of laughter from his eyes and nodded slowly, focusing on keeping his breathing even. "Yeah, I... yeah. Sorry about that. I don't know what got into me." "Just stress, that's all," Eugene replied soothingly. "You're used to seeing one thing when you walk in here, and coming in to find everything looking the same, but still somehow different---it must have messed with your head." "Maybe you two should go home," Drew said, still keeping a watchful eye on Colin. "I can say that you've got a family member who is sick and needs you to take care of him." Colin shook his head, rising to his feet and lifting his chin stubbornly. "No, I'm okay. I just got a little shaken, but I'll be fine now. And I don't want to mess up Eugene's work record." "Oh Col, you don't have to worry about that," Eugene began, but Colin stopped him with a wave of his hand. "Yes I do. You've taken me in, given me food and clothes and a place to live, and you've taught me... well, you know," he said, giving Drew a sidelong glance. "I'm not going to repay that by losing your job for you. Now come on---we have to get to work." Eugene looked at Drew, but he just shrugged and said, "You heard the man. Get to work. I think you've got some catching up to do." "Okay, sahib," Eugene said, linking his arm with Colin's and guiding him toward the marketing section of the management floor. "Welcome to Winfred Louder. Don't drink the water, and stay away from anyone named Johnson. They tend to get fired all the time." Colin laughed, just for a few seconds, and thought wryly that Ryan would have gotten a kick out of that one. `I'll have to tell him about it when I see him again,' he thought. `Please, let that be soon.' * * * TBC Part 13 Lewis peeked between the fingers covering his face like a child watching a scary movie. The group of girls was still there. They had, in fact, gathered around the little booth and were staring avidly at the two men. Lewis counted four of them, and they were all wearing what looked like a school uniform---a white blouse and plaid skirt. "Hey," Ryan said, his voice coming out like someone was sitting on his chest. "Are you girls... fans?" "We're Whosers," the girl in front said, as if that should explain everything. Ryan nodded in understanding, and Lewis looked at him blankly. "That's what `Whose Line' fans call themselves," Ryan explained quickly, and the girls all nodded enthusiastically. "We have a club at our school," the redhead on the left said. "They're just going to love this." Ryan smiled wanly. "Oh... that's nice." "I'm Alison," the brunette in front said, leaning in slightly. She was clearly the leader of the little group---it had been her who first yelled across the restaurant when she spotted Ryan, Lewis thought. She was standing so close that the fronts of her legs were actually pressed against the edge of the table. "This is Lori, Kim, and Heather." "Hi," Lewis said weakly, waving again. The girls all giggled in unison, and he dropped his hand quickly. "So, um... which one of you is Ryan?" the girl who had been introduced as Kim asked. Her almond eyes and straight, jet-black hair bespoke some Asian heritage. Ryan and Lewis exchanged a look that was almost a smile. "I am," Ryan said, "and this is my brother, um... Mike." Lewis smiled nervously. The girls all wheeled to look at him, and he had the sudden urge to duck. He felt like a man with a laser sight being focused on his forehead. "You don't have a twin," Alison said brightly. Her tone was perfectly matter of fact. "You have three brothers, of which you are the youngest, but none of them are named Mike. They all have `R' names. Richard, Roger, that kind of thing." His eyes widening, Lewis stared at the girls for a moment, who were all nodding in agreement with Alison's statement, and then looked at Ryan, who seemed nonplussed but unsurprised. "You're kidding me," Lewis blurted suddenly. "They actually memorize these kinds of things about you?" Ryan shot him a look that was part embarrassment and part `let me handle this.' "Yeah. And, um... you're right; I don't have a twin. That's pretty sharp, girls." They all grinned happily. "So, who is he?" the redhead, Lori, asked as she pointed at Lewis. Ryan looked at his double, and smiled ever so slightly. Lewis swallowed and shook his head. "Go ahead," Ryan said calmly. "Tell them." Lewis found himself targeted by their stares again. "Uh... I'm Lewis. You know, from his other show?" "But... but *Ryan* is Lewis," the blonde in the back pointed out, frowning. "I play Lewis. He's the real thing." Ryan pointed across the table at Lewis, who shot him a dirty look, and then nodded slowly, giving the girls his best smile. To his surprise, they all giggled and smiled right back at him. Lewis thought with something like amazement that they were actually trying to *flirt* with him. "Yeah. I'm the real Lewis. I came here through a sort of trans- universal thing. You see, the `Drew Carey Show' created a bubble universe, where all the characters are real people and what happens on the show controls what happens in those peoples' lives. Then, during the live broadcast last week---did you see it?" "Oh yeah, we taped it," Alison assured him, and Lewis gave her an extra large smile. He was thrilled when she returned it full force. He'd never done so well with girls in his life. And sure, they were way too young for him, but it was nice to have that kind of attention. `Ryan, you're a lucky bastard,' he thought. `Why the hell did I have to be a janitor?' "Right, well, during that taping," Lewis continued, "A universal transference occurred. I was pulled into this universe, and in my place, Colin was sent to the bubble universe. Um... do you girls know who Colin is?" "Of course!" the two in the back chorused together. "He is SO cute," the blonde added. "Just *adorable!*" Lewis raised an eyebrow and glanced at Ryan, who only smiled wryly and mouthed `I told you so.' "I'll take your word for it," Lewis said dryly. "I know Eugene, of course, and I guess he's pretty cute, but that's neither here nor there. The point is, the live broadcast caused this transfer to happen, and now I'm here. But in two days, we're going to do another live broadcast, and hopefully we'll be able to switch back." Lewis fell silent, and the four girls all blinked at him for a moment. "So... let me get this straight," the slim brunette in front said. "The Drew Carey Show created an alternate universe---that it controls---and you were brought here from it? So you're the real, *real* Lewis, and you're trying to go back there?" "Um... yeah, that's pretty much it," Lewis replied weakly. Ryan scrubbed his hands across his face and sighed, his shoulders dropping. This wasn't going to be good. He could already envision these girls posting some kind of crazy thing on the internet, and the next thing he knew, there would be reporters knocking on the door. The girls all looked at each other and seemed to go through some silent communication. They looked at Lewis, at Ryan, and then at Lewis again. As one, they slowly drawled: "Cooooool!" Ryan gaped at them. "You mean... you believe all that?" "Sure!" the redheaded Lori replied. "It's the only thing that really makes sense. How else could there be two of you?" Ryan just blinked. Across from him, Lewis folded his arms on the table and dropped his head into them, his shoulders shaking with laughter. "Um... excuse me." The voice came from behind their fan club, and Ryan was tremendously relieved to see that it was the waitress with their food. "Oh, our food is here," he said quickly. "Did you want autographs or anything before we eat?" They all wanted autographs, of course. Lewis was surprised and touched to find that his autographs were apparently in higher demand than Ryan's. "After all," the blonde reasoned, "you're not going to be in this universe much longer, are you? Better get it while we can." Lewis could only nod helplessly. He could feel the laughter trembling at the back of his throat, and he brought one hand down to his leg, digging his nails through the fabric of his jeans in an effort to gain some control. Then, mercifully, they were gone, and the food was delivered. It looked delicious, but neither of them felt like eating. Lewis stared at it and swallowed, rubbing at the crazy flutters in his stomach. Ryan mirrored the movement, and Lewis noticed that his double was actually, *literally* mirroring him. Ryan was using his left hand to rub at those nervous, relieved tremors, while Lewis used his right. That little detail was the last straw and he collapsed into giggles, covering his face with his hands and propping his elbows up on the table. "Lewis? What is it?" "That... they were... oh man..." Lewis laughed harder, actually shaking the table slightly. Ryan began to chuckle, shaking his head as he watched his twin go into hysterics. "Oh, come on. It wasn't *that* funny." "The look on your face... and they said `cooool,' and you just stared at them..." Lewis wiped at his eyes and took a long drink of his soda, swallowing carefully. Then he hiccupped, which only sent him into another gale of laughter. "Don't get me started," Ryan said, holding a palm up to the other man. "I hate getting hiccups." "I know!" Lewis replied quickly. "And I always (hic) get them when (hic) I laugh." "So stop laughing, you doof. Take a drink of water and hold your breath." "Right. I'll (hic) do that." Lewis carefully took a sip of water, and when the glass was still to his lips, Ryan suddenly leaned close, looked him in the eye, and said: "Cooooool!" Water went up Lewis' nose as he cracked up, and Ryan ducked to avoid the spatter of drops across the table. They were beginning to draw attention from other restaurant patrons. "That was just wrong," Lewis said, trying to glare at Ryan and failing miserably. "Now I'm never going to get rid of these damn hiccups!" As if to punctuate his statement, his diaphragm lurched again, releasing an extra loud `hic!' Ryan giggled, slumping against the table and burying his face against his forearm. "We need to stop," he breathed between giggles. "People are staring." "I'm trying," Lewis murmured weakly. His whole body felt trembly and loose, and his skin was flushed. "I just... I guess it's relief." "Yeah, it is," Ryan agreed. He felt a tingle at the base of his spine and turned his head slowly. The four girls were sitting down at a table near theirs, and when Ryan looked at them, they all quickly looked away, and then gave him little sideways glances. They were all giggling wildly. The sight threatened to make him laugh again, and he focused on the grain of the wooden table before his eyes, taking slow, controlled breaths. "Maybe we should (hic) get out of here," Lewis suggested breathlessly. He raised the water glass to his lips again, but before he could get it there he burst into giggles just thinking about what had happened the last time he took a drink. "We came here to eat, and that's what we're going to do." Ryan reached out and picked up a spoon, dropping it into his bowl of thick clam chowder. It made a little plopping noise, and then the spoon slowly sank into the liquid. Ryan watched it, and his eyes grew very bright. For some reason he couldn't identify, the sight of that smooth silver metal sinking into the thick white cream was just... so... *funny!* `Get a grip,' Ryan's mind whispered. `You've got the giggles, that's all. And if you don't knock it off, you're going to draw even more attention, and that's the last thing you need.' "Right," Ryan said, biting his lip and taking another deep breath. He took a careful, deliberate swallow of his soup, which was hot and good, just as he expected it to be. "How is it?" Lewis asked in a weak, shaking voice. He was actually shaking all over, and his stomach hurt from laughing, but he felt great. Very relaxed and almost lightheaded. "Try yours and tell me." Lewis did as he was asked, and the taste was salty and thick and somehow *sane,* and he suddenly felt much calmer. "It's good." "Yeah. Told you, just about the best in the universe." Ryan met his double's eyes across the table, and for a moment they teetered on the edge of hysteria again, but they both managed to pull back. "That was... pretty weird, wasn't it?" Lewis asked dryly, when he felt like more laughter was no longer imminent. `Lost the hiccups, too,' he thought. `Good---damn things make me feel like a five year old.' "I'll say. But I've met fans who are weirder. Every actor gets their share of odd encounters like that." Lewis cocked his head, giving the other man a searching look. "And it doesn't bother you that total strangers know all those personal details about you?" "Not really," Ryan replied, shrugging. "It's all available on the internet. If I did a search on my name, I'd get a lot of hits." He spoke without embarrassment, but also without arrogance. Just stating a fact. Lewis raised his eyebrows speculatively. "Really? We'll have to check that out when we get back to your place. I think it'd be kind of interesting to see a bunch of sites with my picture on them." And odd look crossed Ryan's face, and he glanced quickly up at the other man before concentrating on his soup again. He didn't speak, but then, he didn't have to. "What was that?" Ryan shrugged. "Nothing." "Uh-huh," Lewis said skeptically. "If I do a search for pictures of you, what am I going to find?" "Well... there may be a few out there that are... um, digitally altered." "What does that mean?" Ryan smirked at him. "You'll see." ~~~ "Oh... so *that's* digitally altered," Lewis said weakly. They were sitting on the couch, Ryan's laptop propped up between them, one half on each of their touching legs. After poring through several sites full of pictures from both shows and fan-written stories, they had come upon a picture of Ryan in the nude. It was obviously airbrushed, but it was well done nonetheless. The body might not have been Ryan's, but it was long and lanky, and the... ahem... equipment looked about appropriate for his size. "Okay, I think it's time to move on," Ryan muttered, grabbing the mouse from his double's hand and closing the window. Lewis laughed, giving Ryan a sideways look. "Wait... don't tell me you're actually blushing! You are, aren't you!" "No!" Ryan paused, and then pressed the back of his hand against his cheeks, feeling the contrast of hot skin against cool knuckles. "Okay, maybe a little bit. But you've gotta admit, it's *weird.*" "Yeah, I guess it is," Lewis said quietly, but he still had a kind of amused, speculative look on his face. "Hey, would there be pictures of Colin on the internet too?" Ryan snorted. "Only about a million. I swear, people love him." "I'll bet," Lewis replied, his tone oddly free of inflection. "Let's just see what comes up..." The search engine returned something like three hundred thousand hits on the name `Colin Mochrie,' and Lewis laughed, shaking his head. "I hate when they do that. It's like saying, `hey, we've found what you're looking for. It's on earth.'" "Check out the first one there," Ryan said, pointing. Lewis clicked on the site, and a page full of screen captures from `Whose Line' popped up. The one on top was a still shot of that famous `Maltese Burger' moment when Ryan had kissed Colin. Lewis looked at it, raised his eyebrows, and then looked at Ryan. "Anything you want to tell me?" Ryan rolled his eyes. "It's not what you think. It was just for a game, that's all. To make the audience laugh, you know?" "Uh-huh," Lewis said skeptically. "I'm sure that's all there was to it. And... what's this? More pictures?" He scrolled down the page and was treated to quite the gallery of Ryan-and-Colin moments. There were several shots of them hugging or touching in some way, one of Ryan actually licking Colin's ear, another of Colin holding Ryan in his arms like he was carrying a bride over the threshold, and a *very* suggestive picture that was simply labeled: `Ravenous Boa Constrictor.' "You two are pretty good friends, huh?" Lewis asked with a smirk, wiggling his eyebrows. "Yeah, so? We've known each other for twenty years. Of course we're close, but all those pictures are just stuff we did on stage because it would be funny." Ryan paused, looking over the pictures again. They were all suggestive, but they had one other thing in common---in every single one of them, he looked happy. They *both* looked happy. Ryan sighed, resisting the urge to reach a hand out and trace the computer image of his best friend's face. "I see why you miss him," Lewis said softly. "Must be nice to have a friend like that." "Yeah. Yeah, it is." Taking a deep breath, Ryan shook off the melancholy that had suddenly settled over him. "Come on, I think we've surfed the `net enough for today. Looking at that damn screen gives me a headache after a while." Lewis nodded agreeably, but he took one last look at the top picture-- -the `Maltese Burger' picture---before he closed the laptop. It might be Ryan and Colin in that picture, but it looked just like he and Eugene. And the image was... fascinating. Lewis found himself suddenly wanting to ask Ryan how the other man had tasted. "Lewis? You coming?" "What? Oh, yeah, sure. I guess I was just daydreaming a little there." Lewis rose from the couch to stand beside his double, pressing into his side, releasing his hand, and then linking their arms without thinking about it. His eyes were still faraway and he licked his lips in a subconscious gesture. The thought `I bet he has soft lips' came out of nowhere, and he smiled slightly, staring at the floor and swallowing. "So where are we going?" Lewis asked brightly as the other man guided him toward the door. "Back to the studio. We've got a show to rehearse, and only a couple days to do it." ~~~ Sunday Ryan and Lewis exchanged another nervous look. They were perched together on the couch in Drew's office, watching as Rob, the director, read over the finished script one last time before that day's live broadcast. His expression was intent and serious, but every so often he would laugh, which made Lewis wish he knew what the director was laughing at. "You two look really cute," Drew said, his voice sugary sweet. "In your little matching outfits." He waved a hand, flopping the wrist limply and fluttering his eyelashes. Lewis just looked at him uncertainly, feeling uncomfortable with teasing a man that he didn't really know. Ryan, on the other hand, smiled widely and gave Drew the finger. "Bite me," Ryan said calmly, and Drew laughed. Lewis watched the exchange with a little half smile. His stomach was fluttering nervously, and he had to constantly wipe his palms on his jeans. Ryan was doing much the same on his own jeans. They were both dressed in clothes that the wardrobe people considered to be `Lewis wear.' Identical pairs of worn blue jeans and flannel button down shirts. Ryan had removed his wedding ring for the taping, and other than the pale circle of skin on his ring finger, the two men looked exactly the same. Robert put the script down and looked at the two of them critically for a moment. He smiled and shook his head. "I still don't know how you did it, but you look great. And the script is good. I think we're on." Ryan and Lewis grinned up at him, and he shivered slightly. "Man... that resemblance is just uncanny! But the audience will love it." Rob glanced at his watch, and then grabbed Bruce by the arm and pulled him toward the door. "All right, we're on in twenty minutes. Time for final checks. See you two on stage!" he called over his shoulder as he left the room. "Here we go," Ryan said softly. Beside him, Lewis swallowed and bit his lip, and Ryan patted the other man on the back. "You know, I've never acted before," Lewis murmured. "Not even a high school play." "Nothing to it," Ryan assured him. "Besides, you're just playing the DrugCo clone. He hardly talks at all." Drew chuckled, grinning widely at the two men. "I don't know how you came up with that crap. And what was the reason that you're handcuffed together in the script?" "Because DrugCo told Lewis that he had to keep touching the clone constantly for twenty four hours or they'll both get really sick," Ryan said smugly. "Fun, isn't it, when we can just draw from reality like that?" "Right, right," Drew said, rolling his eyes. "I'm going out to the set. You guys better get there pretty soon too so the lighting and sound guys can get their levels." With that, he left the two of them alone in the office. They shared a long glance, and then rose smoothly to their feet, keeping contact with the ease of practice. "I guess this is it," Ryan said softly. "If this works today, I won't see you again." Lewis nodded, shivering slightly as another wave of nervous flutters swirled around his stomach. "It's been fun." "Yeah... I'll miss you, Lewis. You're a good guy." Ryan hugged him, suddenly and impulsively, and Lewis hugged back, burying his face in the other man's neck. Between the performance nerves, the worry about switching universes again, and the odd tremor that shot through him whenever he though of seeing Eugene again, he was a nervous wreck. Ryan's arms were tremendously reassuring, and Lewis let himself enjoy the embrace longer than he meant to. Ryan felt like sticks held together by wire, but he also felt very strong and stable. Lewis closed his eyes and took a deep breath of the scent that was so like his own, and then he finally pulled away, looking Ryan in the eyes. "Ready?" Ryan asked. Lewis nodded. "Yeah. Let's do this. I want to go home." * * * TBC Part 14 "Mmm... what day is it?" Colin mumbled, staring blearily up at the ceiling of Eugene's bedroom. "I think it's Sunday." "But didn't we go to work yesterday?" Eugene nodded, the soft hair on the sides of his head tickling Colin's abdomen. They had just finished... well, let's call it morning ablutions, and he hadn't felt like scooting back up the bed just yet. "Yeah, but we went in on Saturday to catch up for those three days I missed." "Oh." Colin stretched languorously, arching his back and smiling at the lazy after-throb of pleasure in his body. "Do we have to go in today, too?" "Nah, I wouldn't think so," Eugene began, and then the phone rang. Both men stared at it blankly for a long moment. As a general rule, Eugene didn't get a lot of phone calls. Eugene held a hand up mutely, and Colin reached for the cordless phone sitting on the beside table and handed it to him. Eugene frowned in puzzlement at the caller ID for a moment before shrugging and hitting the `talk' button. "Hello?" Colin watched the expressions change on Eugene's face as he listened to whoever was on the other end. Confusion gave way to surprise and a kind of baffled happiness, and he began nodding slowly. "Well, sure, we could---okay. Yeah. No problem." "Who was that?" Colin asked curiously once Eugene had ended the call. "It was Drew. He wants us to come over today---apparently they're having some kind of get together." Colin raised his eyebrows. "And we're invited? I thought that you were generally outside their circle of friends... no offense," he added quickly. Eugene shrugged, smiling at him. "None taken. You're right, they normally don't include me in things. I hang out with Lewis sometimes, but for the most part I'm not exactly one of the gang." "So are we going over there?" "Yeah, I told him we'd come. Except..." Eugene paused, cocking his head and narrowing his eyes. Colin recognized his own `figuring something out' expression, and he fell silent, casually rubbing the other man's back. Eugene murmured appreciatively and slid up Colin's body until he was spread across his double's chest, his head tucked beneath Colin's chin. "Except what?" Colin prompted, when it seemed that further information was not forthcoming. "Well, the way he was talking, I thought... it was like he thought I was someone else. He never once called me by name, and he acted like this was a regular thing. He asked if I was coming over to watch the game, `like usual,' and said if I wasn't, the gang would meet me in the Warsaw later." Colin frowned, his eyebrows drawing close together. Something about that seemed oddly familiar, but he couldn't quite place it. "And another thing," Eugene said suddenly. "He didn't say anything about both of us coming, even though he knows we can't be apart. It was like he was expecting only one person." "Huh... that is pretty odd. But I think we should go," Colin said musingly. "In fact, I... for some reason, going seems like a really good idea." Eugene raised his head so he could look Colin in the eyes. "You feel it too? I feel almost like something is pushing me to go over to Drew's place. It's the oddest sensation..." Colin nodded, his eyes widening. "Yeah, that's exactly it! Something is telling me that we're supposed to be there. Except it's not a push so much as a... a pull, I guess. I can't really describe it." "Well, then I guess we should get dressed. I think we're supposed to be there in an hour." "Does that leave us time for a shower?" Colin asked, grinning suggestively. A slow smile spread across Eugene's face, and he gave the other man a long, gentle kiss. "Don't you ever get enough?" he asked, quirking one eyebrow. "I've got a lot of catching up to do," Colin replied, with something almost like regret. "Got to make up for all those years that I didn't know who I was." Eugene nodded, slipping his arms around the other man's shoulders and hugging him closely for a long moment. "I know what you mean," he mumbled into Colin's neck. "I was like that when I first figured it out, too. I wanted to make up for lost time. But don't put yourself under too much pressure. Try to relax and enjoy the moment, without thinking about all the moments you could have had, and didn't." "Like all the moments I could have had with Ryan?" Colin whispered thickly. "Don't," Eugene said, putting a fingertip across the other man's lips to silence him. "Don't go thinking like that. You'll get your chance with him. Have a little faith." Colin sighed deeply and nuzzled Eugene's jaw, lightly flicking his tongue out along the rough morning stubble of his face. "I know I shouldn't worry so much, but it's been a whole week now. I keep thinking that if they could do something to bring me back, they would have done it by now." "Mmm... that feels nice," Eugene murmured, angling his head to give Colin better access to the sensitive skin of his throat. "And who knows, maybe this thing at Drew's place is something. But we won't find out if we don't get over there, will we?" Colin nodded quickly, and in one fluid movement, he rolled them until they were side by side and he rose from the bed, pulling Eugene along by the hand. Laughing in surprise, Eugene asked: "What's the sudden hurry?" "Well, if we're going to get there on time, that doesn't leave us much showering time. And I, for one, would like to make the most of the time we have." "Sounds like a plan." ~~~ After their shower, and... other activities, Colin and Eugene were standing in their familiar back to back position, ready to get dressed. To simplify things, they had divided up most of Eugene's clothes into two roughly equal piles, and they could both reach one pile comfortably while standing back to back. They dressed with quick economy and smooth, practiced motions, turned to face each other, and burst into laughter. "Why are you wearing the same thing I am?" Eugene asked, his eyes dancing. "I thought you were wearing the same thing as *me,*" Colin replied, looking his double up and down. They had both selected the same khakis and simple, pale blue polo shirt. Colin looked down and saw that they were even wearing the exact same socks---white, with a green line of thread across the backs of the toes. The laughter slowly bled from Eugene's face as he examined their clothing, and his eyes narrowed. "Wait a minute... I recognize that shirt. I bought it in Toledo, when the airport screwed up and lost my luggage on an overnight business trip. And I'm pretty sure I only have one of them." Colin raised his eyebrows and ran his hands over the shirt as if assuring himself that it was real. "Well, maybe you had two and you just didn't know about it," he said slowly. "I don't think so." Eugene paused, and then suddenly pulled at the bottom hem of Colin's shirt, drawing it up and examining the inner lining. "What are you doing?" "The shirt I bought in Toledo has a purple dot on the inside of the bottom hem. I accidentally touched it with a marker when I was getting my presentation ready, and the stain never came out. I think... there it is!" he cried, lifting the fabric up to show Colin. Sure enough, there was a faded purple spot in the soft, baby blue material. "Okay," Colin said. "So I've got the one you bought in Toledo, and you've got another one." Eugene just shook his head. "I know I only have one..." He pulled up the hem of his own shirt, turning his body and pressing his shoulder and upper arm into Colin's chest so he could use both hands. He suddenly froze, and then wordlessly lifted the hem of his shirt to show his double. There, in the exact same place, was an identical purple dot. Colin blinked at it, and his mind felt like a transmission that had suddenly dropped into neutral. The engine was revving furiously, but he wasn't getting anywhere. "Well... what does that mean?" Colin asked thickly. Eugene shrugged. "I don't know. But somehow, I suddenly have two of the same shirt. And you know what? I'm willing to bet that our pants are absolutely identical too. I have more than one pair of khakis, but they're all slightly different." "I wasn't really thinking about what I was putting on," Colin said slowly. "These were just on top, and I thought they looked nice." "Yeah, mine were on top too." Eugene bit his lip, and then nodded. "You know what? I think that we're *supposed* to dress alike today. Just like we're supposed to go over to Drew's. Something weird is going on here." "That's for sure," Colin muttered. "But okay, I'll play along. As long as we're supposed to look alike, we might as well go all out. Do you have any identical pairs of shoes?" Eugene gave him a smile that was a little spooked around the edges. "I bet I do now." ~~~ The sense of being part of something big and... and somehow *planned* only got stronger as they drove to Drew's place. They were perfectly identical, right down to their contacts and soft brown jackets, another item that Eugene had previously only had one of. Colin felt like he should be more troubled by the strange circumstances, but it was all oddly familiar. He had no desire to question or fight it, and whenever he tried to think about it, he found his mind wandering to other things. The whole concept that someone wanted them dressed alike and was duplicating clothes to make it happen was like Teflon--- he couldn't make his mind stick to it. They parked on the street, and as one, turned their heads to look at Drew's house. It looked just as it always did on the show, and Colin felt a pang of something that was almost homesickness. He shivered slightly and leaned a little closer against Eugene's side. "Hey, open the glove box," Eugene said suddenly. It never even occurred to Colin to ask why. Of *course* he should open the glove box. It was only natural. And when he did open it, the pair of shiny steel handcuffs he discovered didn't surprise him at all. "We should put them on," Colin said calmly, drawing the linked metal rings out and staring at them meditatively. "Yeah, we should. I don't know why, but..." "But we're supposed to," Colin finished. He felt like he was riding down a river. He had no idea where he was going, but the sense of being carried was very strong. And it was... peaceful, and oddly comforting. `Fate,' he thought, and he smiled softly. Eugene held out his right hand, and Colin overlapped it with his left. They linked their wrists together with the handcuffs, and then climbed out of the car. Both men were breathing slowly and evenly, and their eyes were ever so slightly dazed and unfocused. They walked easily toward the house---toward the back door. Because of *course* they would enter through the back door. They always did. Neither man even hesitated before opening the door without knocking. They were expected. Drew, Kate, and Oswald were in the living room, arranged on the sofa. The armchair where Lewis normally sat was empty, but that was okay. That was perfectly normal. Colin felt the pull of the river get a little stronger, and he sighed happily. Everything was exactly as it should be. Drew was the first to look up, and his eyes widened behind his thick, black-framed glasses. "Lewis!" he said. "What the hell?" Eugene blinked at being called Lewis, but only for a moment. Of course Drew would call him that. Colin stood mutely at his side, looking around the living room with a kind of childlike wonder. It was as if he had never seen it before. He felt shiny and new and uncomplicated. And under all those things, he felt a kind of growing euphoria. `Ryan's doing this somehow,' he thought. `He's bringing me home.' "Don't get all excited, Drew," Eugene said, and his voice actually sounded a little different. Lower, and with a kind of sarcastic undertone that made Colin smile and think of Ryan. "Wow," Oswald said, rising to his feet and approaching the two men. "He looks just like you, buddy! I didn't know you had a brother!" "He's not my brother," Eugene said calmly. He had the odd sense of his mind rising above his body like a balloon and delivering words down the string to his mouth, where they came out with a perfect smoothness, but they didn't seem like his words at all. "He's a clone from DrugCo. Everyone who volunteers for the cloning program gets a special bonus and a chance to win a trip to the international DrugCo headquarters." "Where is that?" Kate asked absently, goggling at the two identical men. "Siberia." Drew snorted. "Figures. Um... why are you handcuffed to him?" Eugene looked down at the handcuffs as if he had forgotten about them. In a way, he had; pulling them out of the glove box and putting them on was a hazy memory now. Hadn't somebody told him that they had to be worn? Sure... that sounded about right. "We have to keep touching for the first twenty-four hours after cloning, or we'll get really sick." "Why?" Oswald asked curiously. Eugene shrugged. "I dunno. Some kind of DNA sharing thing. But anyway, DrugCo handcuffed all the clone pairs together just to make sure. We can go back there tomorrow and they'll take the cuffs off." "He doesn't say much, does he?" Kate said, peering into Colin's eyes. Colin smiled blankly at her---she was pretty. He liked pretty things. He focused on her earrings, which were shimmery rose tinted pearls. Shiny... he reached for them, wanting to touch the shiny thing. Kate pulled back quickly, and Eugene laughed, shaking his head. "Don't worry about him. He's only a few hours old, so he's kind of like a baby." "Does he need diapers?" Oswald grinned, his eyes lighting up. "Because if he does, I'd be happy to wear them too, just to show my support." They all gave him an odd look, and then shrugged it off as just one of Oswald's oddities. Colin, meanwhile, was walking toward Kate and reaching for the earrings again. Eugene followed along, smiling indulgently at his double. "What is he doing?" Kate asked, backing away and giving Colin a dubious look. "He likes you," Eugene replied. "I think he wants something." Drew stepped between Colin and Kate, and she stood behind him, putting her hands lightly on his shoulders and peering curiously up at the quiet, smiling man. "Does he talk?" Drew inquired, tilting his head and looking Colin up and down. Eugene shrugged. "Some. Most of his physical stuff, like walking and eating and all that is fully developed, but his mind is pretty blank." "So, pretty much an exact copy, huh?" Kate remarked. Eugene nodded at her, smiling thinly and narrowing his eyes in an `oh, very funny' kind of look. "Shiny," Colin said suddenly. He reached for Kate's earrings again, lightly brushing his fingertips against them. Kate raised an eyebrow at him and stepped out from behind Drew, putting her hands on her hips. "Okay, Lewis, tell him to keep his hands to himself," she said threateningly. "Just because he looks like you doesn't mean I won't kick his ass." "Yeah, I'd like to see you try," Eugene muttered, and Kate gave him a piercing look, tapping one foot. His eyes widened and he pulled back quickly, drawing Colin along with him. "Don't touch her," he said in a stage whisper. "She's baaaaad." Colin smiled and patted Eugene's face, tracing his fingertips over the other man's cheekbones and the line of his jaw. "Hi!" he said brightly, his eyes open and empty. "Yeah," Eugene said, pushing the hands away and rolling his eyes. "So what happens after twenty-four hours are up and they take the handcuffs off?" Drew asked, frowning at the two identical men. "Well," Eugene began, and then the lights in the room suddenly fluctuated. Everyone paused and looked around, and Oswald rubbed absently at his jaw. It felt like his fillings were vibrating. "What's going on?" Kate sounded genuinely bewildered, but Colin suddenly didn't feel confused. He felt a rising sense of speed and motion. The river they were on was approaching a waterfall. "It's working!" Eugene suddenly said, and then blinked. `What's working?' his mind asked, and he had no answer. The words had come down the balloon string, and they weren't his any more than the whole exchange about DrugCo clones had been. Colin felt suddenly lighter, and almost... diffuse. Like he wasn't quite there. He turned to Eugene and hugged him fiercely, suddenly sure that he was never going to see his double again. "Thank you so much," he whispered. "Thank you for everything." Eugene only stared at him, and then the words came again, but with an odd sense of doubling. His words were his, but they were also coming through him from somewhere else. "You're welcome. And thank you too. I'll miss you..." The lights started fluctuating even more wildly, rising to a peak of brightness that left afterimages on the inside of Colin's eyelids, where he saw everything in the room, only with its colors reversed. The sense of shifting, and of *thinness* was growing, and he swayed on his feet. Dizziness came over him in a pounding wave, and sudden, chrome plated pain shot twin arrows up through his chest to meet in the back of his head. His knees either buckled or disappeared, and he crumpled to the floor. Eugene felt a drag on his arm as Colin fell, but it was amazingly light. The crazily flashing lights suddenly all went out together, and they were plunged into darkness. The handcuff around his wrist became very light indeed, and Eugene felt a strange sense of loss--- he was diminished, somehow. Then the lights came back on, at normal strength, and everyone looked around in a daze. Eugene raised his trembling arm up to eye level and looked through the empty ring of steel dangling from his right wrist. Colin was gone. * * * TBC Part 15 Lewis blinked and brought a trembling hand up to rub at his eyes, trying to scrub away the dazzling afterimage of the overbright stage lights. His vision swam with crazily flickering dots, laid down like a sheer screen in front of the familiar surroundings of Drew's living room. "What the hell?" Lewis recognized Drew's voice, but he couldn't be sure if it was *his* Drew, or the other one. He craned his neck, trying to find the source of that voice, and the movement sent an eye- watering jolt of pain through his head before subsiding to a more bearable ache. Automatically, he reached for Ryan, trying to get rid of the sick unsteadiness in his stomach. Ryan wasn't there. Lewis felt something like panic as he looked around, frantically trying to find his double. He had to find Ryan, or the sick feeling would only get worse, and then... wait. The sick feeling wasn't getting worse. It was, in fact, actually starting to fade. `I'm back,' he thought dazedly. `That crazy live broadcast thing worked, and I'm back.' "Lewis?" "Over here," he called, trying to stand up and failing miserably. His muscles were all quivering like a jello mold that has been shaken, and although his vision was clearing, swarms of black dots kept swirling around the edges. Lewis took several soft, measured breaths, trying to quiet the fluttering nausea in his stomach. Eugene moved toward the sound of Lewis' voice on unsteady legs. The universe transfer hadn't hit him as hard as it hit those who actually got sent somewhere, but he still felt weak and very tired. He put his head down for a long moment, staring at the floor and trying to make his legs work again, and he looked up just in time to see Oswald rushing past him. "Lewis? Buddy? Are you all right?" Oswald asked anxiously, yanking the taller man's arm in an effort to get him upright. Lewis waved him off weakly, swallowing hard as the sudden jolting threatened to make him lose the battle with his nausea. "Leave him alone," Eugene said, finally making it to Lewis' side. He sank down on the floor by the other man and put an arm around his shoulders, firmly pushing Oswald's hand away. "He needs to sit still and recover a little bit." Oswald blinked at him. "Eugene? When did you get here? And where did Lewis' clone go?" "I think something happened when the lights went out," Kate said from behind them. "That Lewis clone is gone, and now Eugene is here." Drew stepped up to her side, frowning down at Lewis and Eugene. They were slumped together on the floor, leaning back against the side of the couch, and Lewis was looking decidedly sick. His head was resting on Eugene's shoulder, and Eugene was watching him in concern and gently stroking his hair. "What's going on here, Lewis? Did your clone suddenly turn into Eugene or something?" Lewis just blinked at him, his exhausted mind not having the first clue what Drew was talking about. Clone? What the hell was that about? Eugene felt that odd sense of doubling again. He could remember the whole sequence of events where he and Colin had been Lewis and his clone, and the way all the others had played along so perfectly. But he could also remember the week spent with Colin, and their discussions about multiple universes and transfers and... Eugene shook his head, rubbing at his forehead. It was all so jumbled together... "Right," Lewis said suddenly. "The clone thing... um... yeah. I think that Eugene volunteered for the program too, and there must have been some kind of DNA mixing. So now my clone looks like Eugene." Everyone looked at him in puzzlement for a long moment, and then Kate said logically: "I didn't even think Eugene worked at DrugCo." Lewis bit his lip and pressed a trembling hand to his temple. He knew that his friends were still mired in the storyline he and Ryan had created, and he had to find a way to explain Eugene's sudden appearance, but it was hard to think when all he wanted to do was curl up and sleep for about a week. "I do some independent accounting work for them," Eugene said suddenly, and Lewis looked up at him sharply. Eugene gave the other man a reassuring smile and a very small wink, and Lewis understood that he was playing along. Oswald frowned at Eugene, looking him up and down. "So you're a clone too?" "Um... yeah." Eugene smiled sweetly and tried to look like a clone. `As if you know what a clone looks like,' he thought distractedly. Bracing one hand against the side of the couch, Lewis carefully rose to his feet, moaning softly under his breath at the renewed wave of dizziness. Eugene quickly stood beside him and wrapped an arm around the other man's waist, leaning against his side and letting Lewis lean right back up against him. "Are you okay, Lewis?" Drew asked. "You don't look so good... neither of you do, actually." "Um... we should get to DrugCo," Lewis said, suddenly seeing their ticket out of there. "They'll be able to fix us up." "I'll give you a ride," Oswald started, but Lewis put a hand up, shaking his head. The last thing he wanted was to actually show up at DrugCo. Who knew what that crazy place would do with them? "No, no, this whole cloning thing is supposed to be secret. If they find out I told you guys, I'm going to be in big trouble. I'll just drive me and... the Eugene clone over there myself." "Are you sure you're going to be okay to drive?" Kate asked, looking worriedly at the way Lewis was swaying, even with Eugene's support. "I can drive," Eugene interjected. They all turned to look at him, and the skepticism in their gazes made him very aware that he was not a trusted member of this group. Oswald actually looked a little hostile, and Eugene tightened his arm around Lewis, squaring his shoulders and standing his ground. "You don't want him to get in trouble, do you? I know the way there, and I feel fine." That was a lie, he didn't feel fine at all, but he was clearly in better shape than Lewis. Drew frowned, giving Eugene a long measuring look before turning back to Lewis. "Are you sure you don't want to ride with one of us?" "I'm sure Eugene can get me there just fine," Lewis replied, with an edge to his tone. Although he considered Eugene a friend, the other man had never been accepted into the `Drew Carey club' as a bona fide member, something that Lewis resented. Just because Eugene hadn't been a part of their high school group, he was snubbed---in a subtle, polite way, but a snub nonetheless. Drew's girlfriends were made temporary group members, but apparently Lewis' friends weren't good enough. "Okay," Drew replied, holding his hands up soothingly. "I'm just worried about you---you look like hell, Lewis." Lewis immediately turned and fixed Kate with a gimlet stare. "Don't say it," he snapped, and she shut her mouth. "What? I wasn't going to say anything." "Uh-huh," Lewis said skeptically. "You weren't going to make some comment about how I always look like hell, or how that would be an improvement?" Kate exchanged a puzzled glance with Oswald and Drew. "Um... well, okay, yeah, maybe I was going to say something like that. But it's just kidding around; you know that. It never bothered you before." "It's always bothered me. I just never had the balls to say so before. But you know what? I'm not stupid, I'm not a loser, and I'm tired of being treated like I am." Drew, Kate, and Oswald all gaped at him. By his side, Eugene gently patted his back and smiled to himself. It sounded like the big guy's time with Ryan had done wonders for his self-confidence. "Lewis... we don't treat you like a loser," Drew protested, staring in bafflement at the friend that usually let everyone walk all over him. Lewis raised an eyebrow. "Oh really? What about that time that your fridge broke and we brought you a new one? After you told us to take it back, you asked Nikki if you were right to send it away. She told you that you did the right thing, because, and I quote, `It was creepy, it smelled really bad and none if its parts matched.' And do you remember what you said to that?" "I... I didn't know you heard that," Drew mumbled guiltily. Lewis shrugged in a way that said he heard *lots* of things. "What did you say?" Oswald asked eagerly, cocking his head and looking curiously at Drew. "Never mind, Oswald," Drew said shortly, waving a hand to shut him up. Oswald frowned, his dark brows drawing together in a pouting expression that made him look much younger than his forty years. "Why does everyone always say that to me?" Rolling her eyes, Kate patted him on the back and said, "I'll explain it to you later." "I'm out of here," Lewis said, and this time no one questioned his decision to leave on his own. Eugene stayed by his side, offering a wave to his friends. They waved back politely, but he could still feel the cool distance they were radiating. Once they got out into the backyard, Lewis paused and sat heavily on the edge of the pool table. Eugene sank down next to him, watching in concern as Lewis put his face in his hands and sighed raggedly. "Are you okay?" Eugene asked, gently rubbing the other man's back in long, slow strokes. "Yeah... I guess so. I'm just really, really tired, and I've got a bitch of a headache. But I think it's getting better." "You're shaking," Eugene observed quietly. "Are you cold?" Lewis laughed hollowly. "No... it's just that... that whole scene in there was a long time coming, I think. I always let them make fun of me, and I just laugh it off like it doesn't matter. Standing up to them was harder than I thought it would be, and I..." "And you're already feeling weak from the whole universe transfer thing," Eugene finished for him, smiling sympathetically. "You know about that?" Lewis asked sharply, and then answered his own question. "Oh, of course you do, because Colin was here. I was wondering why you were playing along with me in there about all that DrugCo clone crap." "Speaking of which, we better get out of here before one of them decides to come outside and wants to know why we aren't at DrugCo yet." Eugene slid off the table and turned to face the other man. With Lewis perched on the edge of the pool table, his head was actually lower than Eugene's. Eugene put his hands on the other man's shoulders, and Lewis looked up at him for a long moment. He wasn't sure if he read an invitation in those dark brown eyes or not, but he chose to believe that he did, and he leaned forward, pressing his face into Eugene's shoulder and wrapping his arms around the shorter man. Eugene smiled and stepped closer, laying his cheek against the top of the other man's head and slipping his arms around the broad, bony shoulders. He could still feel Lewis shaking, and he had to wonder how much of that was residual weakness from hopping universes and how much was sheer emotional reaction. "Ssshh... why don't you let me take you over to my place?" Eugene said softly. "You don't want to go back to that little place over the Warsaw with Oswald and all the noise from downstairs, do you?" Lewis hesitated, but only for a minute. "The jukebox would make my headache worse," he said, grasping at the rational excuse. "Sure it would. Come on, let's get going." "Okay," Lewis murmured, his voice muffled against Eugene's shirt. He stood and allowed Eugene to lead him to his car---the same little Honda that he'd shared for the past week with Colin. After a brief pause to realize they didn't have to get in the same side, they separated long enough to climb in. Lewis felt oddly disconnected with no one touching him. He felt like a ship that had broken loose of its moorings and was just beginning to float more freely beside the dock. He had the sudden, frightening thought that if he stepped down too hard, he would push away from the earth and go sailing off into the sky, unable to come back down. "Lewis? You all right?" Lewis looked up from his contemplation of the little bit of floorboards visible between his feet. "Huh? Oh, yeah... why?" Eugene smiled gently at him. "Because you're holding onto the door handle so hard your knuckles are white." "Oh." Lewis blinked at his hand, and forced it to let go, curling it in his lap like a child that has misbehaved and now must go into time- out. "I'm just making sure I don't float away," he said, unaware the words were going to come out of his mouth until the very moment that they did. "I think I know what you mean," Eugene replied. "It's weird not touching anyone, isn't it? You get used to it after a while." Lewis nodded. "Yeah... I actually kinda miss it." Eugene watched him for a few moments, a calm, grave expression on his face. Then he reached over and took one of Lewis' big hands, gently turning it back and forth and tracing the palm with his fingertips. Lewis let him do it, shooting the other man little sideways glances. He knew that Eugene was physically affectionate with everyone, prone to friendly hugs and casual touches, but this felt... different. "I'm feeling very weird," Lewis said, and his voice seemed to come from somewhere else. It didn't even sound like his voice. It sounded like a recording of his voice, played back over a weak, tinny sound system. This wasn't actually happening, right? He hadn't just crossed some time-space barrier to return to a bubble universe created by a TV show, had he? It sounded preposterous. Eugene nodded. "Yeah... I think I'm getting a little of it myself. Maybe it's the aftereffects of being controlled by some trans- universal broadcast signal. Actually... I don't know what the hell it is. I feel like I should be freaked out, but I'm not. I feel pretty good, now that I think of it." "Mmmm..." Lewis mumbled, his mind too preoccupied with the way the other man was touching him to come up with anything more coherent. Eugene was still rubbing his palm, tracing up and down the insides of his fingers, moving from base to tip and back down again, only to move on to the next finger in a never-ending pattern. He'd never realized that his hands were quite so sensitive. The light touch was creating a tingling sensation that sent electric sparks crackling over his nerve endings. Lewis swallowed, blinking, and took a deep breath. Eugene smiled softly. He could see that the taller man's breathing was growing more rapid, and the way he kept licking his lips. Eugene brought Lewis' hand to his mouth and kissed the knuckles, and then lightly sucked at the webbing between his thumb and forefinger. Lewis let him do it for a moment, and then quickly pulled his hand away, his eyes wide. "Um... what are you doing?" Eugene shrugged evocatively. "Don't I always tell you that you've gotta go for what you want?" Lewis scrubbed a hand across his face, trying to wipe away the hot flush that had risen to his skin when Eugene's lips had touched his hand. "Is that what you're doing?" he asked breathlessly. "Going for what you want?" "Yes. That's what I'm doing. Do you want me to stop?" Lewis blinked at him, twice, slowly, and then looked away. He saw with some surprise that they were still sitting in Drew's driveway. They hadn't actually left yet. "Hey... don't you think we should get going?" "Yeah, I guess so," Eugene replied, accepting that Lewis didn't want to talk about it right now. After starting the car and pulling out on the road, he automatically reached over to put a hand on the other man's knee, but paused just before he would have touched, his palm hovering over one long jean-clad leg uncertainly. Lewis had his eyes fixed on that hand, but he made no move to edge away or avoid the touch. "Tough habit to break, huh?" Lewis asked weakly. Eugene nodded. "Yeah... it was kind of nice. I feel really weird not touching anyone." "I know what you mean." Lewis paused, and then quickly reached out and covered Eugene's hand with his own, pressing it down against his leg and letting his palm rest on the other man's knuckles. He looked at Eugene sharply, ready to yank his hand away at the first sign of... of anything. But Eugene only smiled sweetly at him and then concentrated on the road. They rode in silence. Lewis leaned back against the seat, his eyes closed and his mind drifting aimlessly. The headache and dizziness was finally starting to retreat, and his stomach had settled. He felt very tired, but basically okay---content. That was the word for it. Content. Eugene's hand resting on his knee felt warm and familiar, but a little flutter of anticipation in his stomach refused to let him relax too much. `What's going to happen when we get back to his place?' Lewis thought. `Will he go for what he wants?' And behind that thought was one further down, one that he wouldn't quite let himself hear. `Will I go for what *I* want?' Every so often, Eugene would look over at his passenger, taking a moment to appreciate the clean, stark lines of his body. Lewis was all angles and planes; Eugene could see the line of his thigh against his jeans, and his eyes lingered there for a long time. The sense of predestination that he'd felt when he and Colin had gone over to Drew's house earlier that day was absent, but he still felt a curious lack of fear. Given that he planned to tell Lewis how he felt, and possibly start a relationship with him that night, he thought that he should be nervous. But there were no butterflies in his stomach, no tightness in his chest. There was only a happy kind of anticipation. `Fate,' he thought, and although he usually didn't believe in anything of that sort, the word felt right. When they got out of the car, they linked arms. Neither man could have said whether it was habit or conscious choice, but they did it without discussion or hesitation. Eugene led them to his small, comfortable apartment, and Lewis looked around appraisingly once they were inside. His eyes landed on the loveseat that fancied itself a sofa, and he said: "Nice couch." Eugene smiled and thought of Colin saying: `Have you noticed that we are often overcome on the couch?' "Have a seat." Lewis nodded and sank into the soft, buttery leather with a sigh of relief. Eugene sat down beside him, leaning into his side and reaching an arm around the taller man's shoulders. He gently rubbed at Lewis' upper arm, feeling his shirt slide over the warm skin beneath. Lewis glanced quickly at the hand, stiffening slightly before forcing himself to relax. The touch was soft, but it made Lewis uneasy. Not because it felt wrong, but because it felt... right. "Did you know," Eugene asked suddenly, "that Colin is in love with Ryan?" Lewis blinked, swallowing and trying not to think about how skilled Eugene's fingers felt. "Really? He told you that?" "Mmm-hmm... well, more like I told him. Helped him to see what was already there. I'm a good teacher," Eugene added slyly, giving Lewis an up-through-the-eyelashes look. `I bet,' Lewis thought. `If what you're doing to my arm is any indication, you're damn good at show and tell.' "Ah... is he going to tell Ryan?" "I hope so," Eugene replied. "Because it's important to be honest and go for what you want." `Gotta go for what you want,' Lewis thought. `We keep coming back to that, don't we?' "Do you think that Ryan feels the same way?" Eugene asked, and his manner was casual and offhand, but Lewis thought he heard a second question hidden behind the first. "Yeah... I think that maybe he does. He talked about Colin a lot, and worried about him, and missed him like crazy." "Did he?" Eugene suddenly turned to look at Lewis, his gaze level and direct. "Did he miss Colin?" Lewis smiled shyly, ducking his head. "Yeah, I missed you. That's what you're asking, isn't it?" Eugene shrugged, raising an eyebrow and one corner of his mouth in a little Mona Lisa smile. "Colin and I had this theory that what happens on the show controls what happens here. Is that how it works?" "Yeah, that's how it works," Lewis replied, suddenly feeling on firmer ground. The science stuff---what `Trek' fans called technobabble---was something he felt comfortable talking about. All the relationship talk was like skating on thin ice: exciting, but scary. "All that stuff at Drew's house, about me having a clone from DrugCo---that was all written. We were acting it out, and broadcasting it live, and that controlled what happened with you guys. Could you tell?" "Sort of. It felt... planned. It was really weird." Eugene paused, tilting his head and bringing one hand up to lightly trace the line of Lewis' jaw. "You know, I asked Colin for a favor, when he got back there. I asked him to write in a relationship between you and me." Lewis licked his lips, very aware of the warm fingertips on his skin. Eugene's face was very close to his, and an image of that picture he'd seen on the Internet popped into his mind---the one that had Ryan kissing Colin. He wondered again how the other man tasted, and some whispering voice told him: `Only one way to find out.' "Really?" Lewis squeaked. "Why?" "I think you know why." Lewis didn't answer. His mind was flicking back over their friendship---the long looks that Eugene gave him when he thought that Lewis wasn't looking, the friendly touches that lingered just a tad too long, the open, gentle support whenever he felt down or just wanted to talk. It was like looking at one of those optical illusion pictures. At first it's all jumbled colors and meaningless lines, and then something changes in your perspective and the image within becomes perfectly clear. Once you've seen something like that, you can't *un-see* it. "Do you know what I'm going to do now?" Eugene asked, his voice sweetly husky. "You're going to kiss me," Lewis replied, and the little flutter in his stomach took off and started doing aerial maneuvers in his chest when he heard his own words. His heart was beating so hard that it seemed to be shaking his whole body with each thump---or at least, *something* was making him shake. "Good call." And he did, gently at first, and then with more pressure as Lewis responded. Eugene felt strong hands on his back, clutching at him, drawing him closer, and he turned his body on the couch, straddling the other man's lap and burying his hands in the dark blonde curls. "Do you think they wrote this?" Lewis asked when they broke apart for air some time later. "Do you think we're being controlled right now?" Eugene smiled at him. "Does it matter?" Lewis paused, bringing one trembling hand to his lips and touching them, enjoying the tingle that was still shooting through his body. Eugene shifted in his lap, making him very aware of his growing arousal. `Gotta go for what you want,' he thought again, smiling dazedly. He stroked his knuckles along Eugene's cheekbone, and the other man leaned into the caress, smiling. `I think I could fall for him,' a voice in Lewis' mind whispered. And then, after another light, butterfly kiss: `Maybe that's yesterday's news. Maybe I already have.' "No," he said softly. "I don't think it matters at all." * * * TBC Part 16 The first thing Ryan was aware of was the absence of Lewis. After a week spent in constant contact with the other man, losing him felt like losing a limb. He felt weak and dizzy, and his eyes were still dazzled by the way the stage lights had gone nuts, but the hideous sick feeling that being apart from Lewis usually caused was noticeably absent. "Go to commercial!" Drew shouted from somewhere over to his left. "Way ahead of you," came the reply over the sound system. Rob, talking to them from the control booth. "You've got two minutes. What the hell happened?" Drew ignored him for the moment. "Ryan? Did it work?" Ryan didn't answer. As his vision cleared, he became aware that he was sitting on the floor, his back against the couch on the `Drew's living room' set. He lifted his arm, examining the handcuffs. One steel circlet was still firmly closed around his wrist; the other was firmly closed around thin air. "Lewis?" he called out uncertainly. "Ryan?" The voice was familiar, but it wasn't Lewis. Ryan stiffened, and then shot to his feet, sending another wave of lightheadedness crashing through his body. "Colin?" "Over here." The reply was weak and trembling, and it sounded like it was coming from somewhere near the floor, but it was unmistakably Colin. Clutching at the couch for support, Ryan lurched around it and spotted the familiar form of his best friend slouched against one end, his legs splayed out on the floor in front of him, his head in his hands. He was moaning softly, and the skin that Ryan could see between his fingers was alarmingly pale, but it was Colin. Ryan crouched, putting his face on a level with the other man, and gently pulled his hands away. "Col? Is it really you?" Colin stared at him for a long moment, and then he suddenly threw his arms around Ryan and pulled him close so quickly that the taller man tumbled into his lap. Colin clutched him, burying his face in Ryan's chest and mumbling something incoherent. Ryan closed his eyes and returned the embrace, impulsively kissing the top of the other man's head over and over again, and rocking them together on the floor. "Um... I guess you're back, huh Col?" Drew's voice came drifting down from where he was standing over them, sounding amused and somewhat uncomfortable. Ryan reluctantly pulled away and helped Colin to his feet. The shorter man swayed slightly and winced, putting a hand to his temples and grimacing in pain, but he seemed otherwise all right. Ryan wrapped an arm tightly around his waist, wishing he could pull his friend into a full body hug and keep him there until he felt absolutely sure that Colin wasn't going anywhere. "Are you okay?" Ryan asked anxiously, his eyes lingering on the paleness of Colin's skin and the dark circles under his eyes. Colin slung his own arm around Ryan's waist and squeezed him tightly, smiling radiantly up into his eyes. "I'm getting there. You... you brought me home. How did you do it?" "So you were really there?" Drew interrupted, his eyes widening. "In Cleveland, with... with everyone from the show?" "Yeah," Colin said, addressing Drew but still staring up at Ryan. "I mostly stayed with Eugene, but yeah, I was there." "Lemme guess," Ryan said, smirking. "You had to stay with Eugene because if you didn't touch him all the time, you felt sick." Colin raised his eyebrows. "How did you know? Oh... it was the same for you and Lewis, right?" Ryan nodded. "Yeah... pretty weird, huh?" Colin just smiled at him, and then, unable to help himself any longer, he wheeled his body to face the taller man and wrapped both arms around him, pressing his face into Ryan's neck. Ryan immediately followed suit, closing his eyes and rubbing his cheek along Colin's shoulder. "Um... I think our two minutes might be up," Drew said awkwardly. "Which means that your little reunion, cute as it is, is being broadcast live." "No, we cut the broadcast," Bruce said from off-camera. "Once the lights went nuts and then Ryan's body double or whatever he was disappeared, we went to commercial, and then to a reel of bloopers and outtakes." Drew nodded, looking relieved. Ryan and Colin were oblivious. They rocked gently, wrapped around each other on the middle of the set, both of them breathing in long, shuddering gasps. Colin was tracing his fingertips over the back of Ryan's neck, teasing the fine hairs at the nape and touching the sensitive skin just below his ears. Ryan shivered in a way that definitely wasn't caused by cold, and wondered vaguely just where Colin had learned that and why he was doing it. "What's going on here?" Christa asked curiously, watching the two entangled men with a puzzled smile. "Where did Mike go?" Drew blinked at her. "Mike? Oh... right, Ryan's... um, double. Mike. He's... he got called away suddenly." "So where did Colin come from?" Diedrich inquired, raising an eyebrow at the way the Canadian was stroking his hands through Ryan's hair. Drew smirked at him. "Well, Dee, Colin's mommy and daddy loved each other very much, so they decided to have a baby, and---" "Smartass." Diedrich rolled his eyes, flapping a hand at Drew to get him to stop. Through all of this, Ryan and Colin stayed locked together, and as Drew leaned a little closer, he could hear them murmuring things to each other. "Missed you so much... thought I'd never get back... scared I'd never see you again... never want to go through that again..." He wasn't sure who was saying what, as all the words were whispered and muffled, but he heard enough to make him feel like he was intruding on something private. "Um... guys?" Drew said, tugging at Ryan's elbow and trying to get their attention. They ignored him. "Wow..." Christa smirked, giving the pair an appraising look. "I don't think they're going to be done anytime soon, Drew. You want to tell us what's been going on here?" Drew sighed and removed his glasses, rubbing at the bridge of his nose. "You're never going to believe me, but okay. I'll give it a try." He led Diedrich and Christa off the set, leaving Ryan and Colin surrounded by a swarm of tech guys trying to figure out what the hell happened with the lights and watched by the live audience, who were cheering and making `awwww' noises in turns. It was the stage lights suddenly going out that finally got their attention. In order to work on the lights, the techs had to turn them off, and the set was plunged into relative darkness. The audience made their disappointment very clear, and Drew came back out, standing in front of the crowd and waving his hands. "I'm sorry about this folks, but we're having some technical difficulties here, and the rest of the live broadcast has been cancelled. You're welcome to stay and watch the outtakes reel on the monitors if you like, but that's all there is for tonight." The crowd grumbled, but the outtakes were actually quite funny, and soon they settled somewhat. It helped that several of the stars, including Craig Ferguson, Kathy Kinney, Diedrich, Christa, and Drew himself began circulating in the seats, greeting people, shaking hands, signing autographs, and generally being placating. "We better get out of here before they drag us into the crowd too," Ryan murmured, staring warmly down at the man in his arms. Colin nodded, his expression calm and peaceful. "So take me home." They walked out of the studio with their arms around each other's waists, and when they got to Ryan's car, they automatically joined hands and moved toward the driver's side to climb in together. Then they paused and looked at each other, smiling sheepishly. "Guess you got used to climbing into a car one-sided, huh?" Colin asked wryly, lightly running the ball of his thumb over Ryan's palm. Ryan nodded. "Yeah... the sick feeling that would come when we didn't touch..." He trailed off, shuddering. "I know what you mean. It got worse with time, didn't it?" "Sure did." Ryan smiled down at him for a long moment, and then cupped his jaw with one hand in an oddly intimate gesture. "I'm so glad you're back, Colin. I can't tell you how worried I was about you." Colin leaned into him again, slouching slightly so he could tuck his head under Ryan's chin. "I'm glad too. I missed you, Ry." "Mmm..." Ryan mumbled into Colin's hair, squeezing his eyes shut and hugging the other man tightly. "Come on... let's get out of here." "Sounds like a plan," Colin said softly, and then smiled to himself, thinking he sounded like Eugene. The thought sent a pang through his chest, and as he walked around the side of the car to get in the passenger side, his eyes were faraway. What he'd had with Eugene was something special, no doubt about that. He was thrilled to be home, but he missed his double with a fierceness that surprised him. "Something wrong?" Ryan asked, giving Colin a sidelong glance as they settled into the car. Colin very nearly leaned over to link his arm with Ryan's, just like he always did when he rode in the car with Eugene, and then he paused, smiling ruefully. "No... not really. I guess I kinda miss Eugene." Ryan smiled at him, nodding in understanding. "It's nice to have someone around who you feel so close to, isn't it? Although... I don't know how it was for you and Eugene, but for me and Lewis, we looked alike, but we were actually very different people." Colin laughed, thinking of outdoor showers, shared toothbrushes, and Tequila and corn. "Oh, we were different. But he was a really nice guy, and he..." Ryan started the car and pulled out of the parking lot, and then cocked his head at Colin, raising an eyebrow. "And he what?" Colin shrugged evocatively. That shrug that said `oh, lots of things.' He knew he should tell Ryan the truth, but he couldn't quite bring himself to do it. He kept imagining those friendly, warm green eyes suddenly closing him out. `If he's such a great friend, he won't abandon you for telling him the truth.' That's what Eugene had said. And it made sense at the time, but... what if he was wrong? Colin didn't think he could stand losing Ryan. Not when he had so recently found him again. "You miss the touching?" Ryan asked suddenly, and Colin shot him a sharp look. `He knows,' Colin thought. `Somehow he knows what Eugene and I did together.' But that was ridiculous---Ryan didn't know about the sex; he was only referring to the necessary constant contact. "Yeah... I guess I do. You get used to it after a while, you know?" Colin managed to keep his voice level, but he could feel his heart skittering along in his chest. Ryan smiled softly. "Yeah, you get used to it. Wasn't actually that bad." He reached over and gently tugged at Colin's arm, and Colin slid across the seat so he could lean into Ryan's shoulder and link their arms together. They smiled at each other for a few seconds, and then Ryan cleared his throat and concentrated on the road. Closing his eyes tiredly, Colin let his cheek rest against Ryan's shoulder and sighed. Universe hopping really seemed to take the starch out of him. He still had a slight headache and the occasional scattered feeling of weak lightheadedness, but for the most part, he was just tired. Exhausted, really. The hum and motion of driving was soothing, and he could feel his limbs growing numb and heavy as he edged toward sleep. Ryan felt his friend relaxing against his side and smiled down at him, allowing himself a quick peck on the other man's forehead. He wasn't sure what was going on with his sudden tendency to be so openly affectionate. `Just relief to have him back,' Ryan told himself. `You were worried about him, that's all.' They rode back to Ryan's place in silence. The warm, sleeping weight of Colin against his side was actually quite relaxing, and Ryan had to shake himself a few times when he got dangerously close to nodding off at the wheel. The thought of taking Colin back to his hotel room in the city never even crossed his mind. ~~~ "Col? C'mon, we're here..." "Mmm..." Colin rubbed blearily at his eyes, sitting up straight and taking a deep breath. "Oh, we're home. Good." He got out of the car and stood up quickly, arching his back in a long stretch. The movement put a little too much pressure on his already stressed system, and a sudden wave of dizziness made him slump against the side of the car, clutching at it for support. "Colin? Are you okay?" Ryan hurried to his side, wrapping an arm around his waist and supporting him carefully. Colin winced, putting a hand to his forehead. "Yeah... just got dizzy for a second. I'm all right." Ryan frowned worriedly. "Maybe I should take you to the hospital or something. All this shit has got to be really hard on you physically." "No, no," Colin said, shaking his head vehemently. The motion only aggravated his headache and he stopped, his lips tightening to a pale line for a moment. "I'm just really, really tired, and I have a little headache. I'll be fine after a good night's sleep." "Well... okay," Ryan replied dubiously. "But maybe you should stay over at my place tonight, just so I can keep an eye on you." And somewhere deep in his mind, a voice whispered to Ryan, `oh really? Is that the only reason you want him to stay?' Ryan shook it off, refusing to let himself hear it, just as he had refused to let himself hear the thought that sharing a shower with Colin would make him aroused. "Good idea," Colin said weakly. "Let's go inside, all right?" Ryan led him into the house, refusing to let go of him even when Colin rolled his eyes and said, "I can *walk,* for crying out loud." "I didn't go through all that crap to bring you back from another universe just to have you fall and break a leg in my own living room," Ryan said, perhaps a trifle more harshly than he'd meant to. Colin blinked at him, and then rubbed the center of Ryan's chest in a firm, up and down motion. It was something that Eugene had taught him---just under the breastbone, there is a gland that releases soothing hormones called endorphins into the bloodstream when pressure is applied to it. "Mmm... what are you doing?" Ryan mumbled, his eyelids drooping. "I'm trying to help you relax. You were really stressing out over getting me back, weren't you?" Ryan looked at him sternly. "Of course I was! I... you mean a lot to me, Colin." Colin looked up at him, and for a long, teetering moment, very nearly kissed him. But then Ryan looked away uncomfortably, and the moment was gone. Colin settled onto the couch, and the taller man curled beside him, wrapping one long arm around his shoulders. They both leaned back with a sigh of relief and put their feet up. Colin snuggled into Ryan's side, letting his head rest in the hollow of his shoulder. He closed his eyes and smiled, relishing the warm touch. "So what was Lewis like?" Colin asked, after they had sat and relaxed quietly for a few minutes. Ryan shrugged. "He was... I don't know how to describe him. Different in real life. He's actually pretty smart sometimes, and really insecure. Sensitive about some things. Oh, and he giggles like crazy if you say `cooool' to him while he's trying to drink water." At Colin's befuddled look, Ryan started to laugh, putting a hand over his eyes and shaking his head. "It's a long story," he said, between giggles. "I bet," Colin said dryly. "You know, Eugene has a crush on him?" Ryan blinked at him. "On Lewis? You're kidding me." "Nope, this is the real deal, sahib." "Um... what? Sahib?" It was Colin's turn to laugh at Ryan's confused look. "Just a term that Eugene uses. I guess I may have picked up a few of his mannerisms, living so close with him for a week." They both paused as the possible double meaning of that hit home. Some of Eugene's mannerisms included sleeping with other men, after all. `If he asks, I'll tell him the truth,' Colin told himself firmly. `And I almost hope he asks.' But Ryan didn't ask. Instead, he said: "You know, I think Lewis might have a little thing for Eugene, too." Colin grinned. "Really? That would be great. You know, Eugene actually asked me to write a relationship for them into the show." "Mmm... what was that like, by the way? When we started the live broadcast, did you feel controlled? What exactly happened?" "It was..." Colin paused, biting his lip. "It was very strange. In a way, it felt orchestrated. Like, suddenly we were wearing the exact same clothes, but it was as if we picked them out that way. And when we found the handcuffs and put them on, there was really no good reason for it, but it seemed to make sense at the time. It all seemed to make sense at the time. It was... peaceful. Like riding in the back of a car and completely trusting the driver to get you where you need to be." Ryan smiled, and then something else suddenly occurred to him. "I called Deb for you when you were gone, so she wouldn't worry." Colin tensed beside him. It was subtle, but Ryan felt it, and his lips tightened. "Oh, you did? That's good, Ry, thanks." "She didn't seem too worried. In fact, I got the distinct impression that she didn't care one way or the other. Is there something you want to tell me?" Colin sighed, staring at the pale circle on his finger where his wedding band usually rested. He supposed it was still sitting in his dressing room back at the studio, where he had taken it off a week ago in preparation for playing Eugene. "Um... well, I guess you already know this, but we've been having some problems." "Oh, Col... I'm sorry," Ryan said softly, tightening the arm around the other man's shoulders. "Don't be," Colin replied suddenly. "This has been a long time coming." Ryan frowned. "What do you mean?" Colin turned his head and stared at the big hand dangling over his shoulder. He looked at the long, tapered fingertips, and he remembered nibbling on Eugene's fingers and making his double's breath catch in his throat. `Gonna knock Ryan's socks off,' he thought again. `I can do this. This is who I am.' "Eugene taught me a lot of things," he began quietly, and he felt the subtle change in Ryan's posture as the man stiffened slightly beside him. "What kind of things?" Ryan asked in a voice that said he already had a pretty good idea. Colin opened his mouth to tell Ryan the truth---and then closed it again. `Eugene wouldn't be scared of telling him the truth,' he thought, and then on the heels of that: `I'm not Eugene. And I don't think I can do this.' "Colin?" "Never mind," Colin muttered, staring intently at the barely visible purple spot on the hem of his shirt. Ryan frowned, tightening the arm around the other man's shoulders a little more. "Are you okay?" "Sure." Colin sighed, and shook his head. "Okay, no, not really. I... there's a lot of things that we need to talk about. And I'll tell you what's going on with Deb, and I'll... I'll show you what Eugene taught me. But not now, okay? I'm just... I'm really tired, and I don't think I can handle it right now." Ryan nodded quickly. "Oh, sure Col, you don't have to deal with it now if you don't feel up to it. You look like hell, you know that?" "Gee, thanks," Colin said, but the real gratitude in his eyes belied the sarcastic smirk on his lips. Ryan shrugged as if it was no big deal, but he couldn't quite ignore the sinking stone of disappointment in his stomach. He'd had a pretty good idea about what Colin was going to say, and... and he wanted to hear it. He kept coming back to the way Colin had phrased his promise: `I'll show you what Eugene taught me.' Show, not tell. What did that mean? And why did thinking about it send a tingle of anticipation skating through his body? Yawning hugely, Colin closed his eyes and snuggled a little deeper into the other man's side. Ryan smiled down at him, and then yawned himself. It was funny how things like that could be contagious. He could feel Colin relaxing, growing heavier and warmer, melting into his side, and it was bleeding a lot of the tension from his own body. "Um... Col? Are you going to sleep on the couch, or are you going to bed?" Colin smiled sleepily, hearing Eugene in his mind again: `Hey, good looking, you coming to bed or what?' "Sorry," he murmured. "I guess I just got used to falling asleep curled up with someone. To tell the truth, I'm not sure how well I'm going to sleep, having a bed all to myself." Ryan bit his lips to keep the immediate response that had jumped into his mind from actually coming out: `You don't have to sleep alone.' Instead, he laughed weakly and said, "Yeah, I know what you mean. I feel like I'm about to knock out right here, on the couch." Colin nodded silently, and then lifted his head from Ryan's chest, looking the other man in the eyes. Ryan nodded ever so slightly. `Ask me,' he thought. `Ask me if we can share a bed---or hell, even a couch---and I'll say yes. I can't offer, but if you ask I'll say yes.' Seeing the nod and feeling the way Ryan seemed to tense slightly, Colin took a deep breath, gathered his courage, and went for it. "Ry? Do you think... maybe..." "Yes," Ryan said quickly. Colin blinked at him, a slow smile spreading on his face. Ryan ducked his head, a flush creeping up his neck, and he shrugged sheepishly. "I mean... um... what were you going to ask?" "I think you know." "Yeah... I guess I do." Ryan paused for a moment, telling himself to quit being so shy, already. "So, um... couch or bed?" "Let's go with the bed. More room to move." Ryan looked at his friend sharply, and Colin gave him a small, enigmatic smile. The older man rose from the couch, holding a hand out to Ryan, who took it numbly. The words kept running around in his head: `Let's go with the bed. More room to move.' What the hell did that mean? `You know what it means,' a voice whispered in his head. `You know exactly what it means. Why else are you suddenly so excited? Why else are your hands shaking and your heart going about a hundred miles an hour?' Colin led them up the stairs and into the master bedroom. He kept shooting little glances over his shoulder at Ryan, making sure the other man was with him. He couldn't quite make himself believe that this was really happening. Was he really going to tell his best friend that he'd fallen for him? Was he really that brave---or that crazy? `Remember how he said `yes' so quickly?' a voice asked him. `Look at the way his eyes are shining, listen to his breathing getting fast. He knows what's coming, and he wants it.' They stood side by side and stared at the bed for a long moment. Colin turned to the other man and placed his hands lightly on Ryan's slim waist. He was very aware of the life beneath his palms. His skin felt so sensitive that he thought if he just pressed a little harder, he would feel the secretive, rushing sensation of Ryan's blood running through his veins. "Ryan, I..." Colin bit his lip, looking away, and then impulsively hugged the taller man, wrapping his arms tight-tight around his waist and burying his face in the hollow of Ryan's neck. Ryan returned the embrace, snuffling in Colin's hair as if trying to get his scent. He could feel Colin's trembling echoing his own. "You do know what's happening here, right?" Colin asked, his words muffled against Ryan's skin. "Yeah, I know." "Is that... is it okay? I mean... what about Pat?" Ryan sighed, closing his eyes and nuzzling into Colin's shoulder. "Pat and I... I think we're in the same boat as you and Deb." "Oh," Colin replied slowly. "Deb and I are having problems," he said carefully, "because I'm in love with someone else. And I think she realized it before I did." Ryan blinked at him. It had suddenly gotten very hot in the room, and the places where Colin's hands were on his skin felt tingly and tight. He thought that if Colin were to remove his hands, he would leave glowing red marks in the shapes of his fingers. "Wh-who?" he stuttered, his voice coming out thick and unsteady. Colin smiled at him---an expression full of warmth and promise. "I think you know who." "Colin... I..." Shushing the other man with a fingertip pressed to his lips, Colin shook his head. "I know this is a shock. But just... hear me out, okay?" Ryan nodded, not trusting himself to speak. Colin's eyes looked impossibly huge up close, and Ryan had the crazy idea that he could go jumping into them like a cartoon character jumping into a picture. He would go swimming around in those dark brown pools, doing a lazy backstroke and maybe the occasional underwater somersault... `Get a grip,' his mind hissed at him. `You're getting a bit loopy, ol' buddy, ol' pal.' "You're the best friend I've ever had... I feel closer to you than to anyone else. And while I was with Eugene---and we *were* together that way, in case you're wondering---I was always picturing you." "Oh," Ryan said weakly. His mind kept trying to picture Colin and Eugene together, but he couldn't quite do it. The image of himself with Colin kept overshadowing it. "I... I didn't do that with Lewis. But I thought about you a lot, Col. All the time. I just never realized that you... that you might want that." "This is who I am, Ryan." Colin smiled sweetly at him, and leaned just a little closer. Ryan could feel his breath on his lips. "This is who I've always been, and it took an imaginary character from another universe to make me see it. But now that I see, I can't go back. And I have to go for what I want. I have to take that chance, because... because *you* are worth it." `Gotta go for what you want,' Ryan thought crazily, remembering his drunken conversation with Lewis. "You're worth it too," Ryan said suddenly, framing Colin's face with his hands. "And I... I want to do this." Colin looked worriedly up at him. "What about Pat? I... I can't share you, Ryan. I wouldn't ask you to share me, and I can't... if you're with me, then that's it. You're with *me.* Can you do that?" Leaning down until their foreheads were touching, Ryan nodded slowly, closing his eyes and stroking his cheek against Colin's. He could feel the fluttering motions of the other man's eyelashes on his own cheeks. "You're worth it," he repeated. And then it wasn't just Colin's breath on his lips, but his warm skin, his mouth, his sweet, salty, familiar taste, and Colin was *kissing* him, and it was... It was coming home. * * * Finis February 20 to March 1, 2003