Title: Intoxication Pairing: Drew/Ryan Rating: Borderline R, maybe Summary: Drew liked beer; he also liked Ryan. Drew liked beer. He liked the way it tasted, the way it cooled his throat after a long day of work. He liked the way he could drink a few before it made him drunk, and he liked the conquer-the-world feeling he got when he finally was drunk. Drew also liked Ryan. When he realized it, it made him both angry and embarrassed at once. It also made him want to immediately go out and drink something much stronger than beer. Ryan was his friend, for fuckssake. He was the guy who nine times out of ten would be sitting with him in strip joints, ogling the dancers. But more to the point than that Ryan was Ryan was that Drew was Drew -- and Drew was straight, had been his whole life. He liked things like beer and strippers and made a large chunk of his fortune from lewd jokes. It all added up to not gay. When they were together, it wasn't tough to convince himself that Ryan wasn't interested. It was the times he woke up in the middle of the night -- hard, brain filled with images of Ryan -- that were really difficult. Those nights when he had to use his hand to get himself off and was left spent but still frustrated. It was nights like those that he cursed himself for being a coward and not at least trying. Once, when Drew hadn't gotten any sleep after one of those nights, Ryan had looked at him with concern, and asked if everything was okay. Drew had replied, "Yeah, man. You want to grab a beer?" and for a fleeting moment he hoped that maybe this time would be different. But the night ended with him stumbling through his door -- alone -- like every other time. -- end --