title: Inner View Author: bk Ryan stared out of the window, watching as the world passed by him in a disturbing blur. The blur tended to reflect his life, moving too rapidly to keep up with, events and shows and fans all melding into one familiar yet undistinguishable lump. He was unusually reflective. Unusually sour. Unusually quiet. The game of Hearts had dwindled into a childish round of Go Fish, because it required little concentration. This was a good and bad thing, not stressful, but not able to occupy one's mind to the extent needed. So he stared out to the darkening world, waiting to arrive at the next stop, wondering what fans would accost him, and if they had seen.... "Ryan? You want to just quit?" Colin's eyes were fixed on his friend's, taking in the wrinkled frown that he wasn't even trying to hide. Ryan turned the frown towards him, then sighed and tossed his cards onto the table. "Sorry, Col." Colin merely nodded and collected the cards, shuffling through the deck several times and thumping the deck onto the table. The hollow sound made Ryan jump. "You're still upset." It wasn't a question. "Nah." Ryan shifted to the side, waving away the comment and turning his gaze away from the window. Maybe if he stopped looking out, people would stop looking in. "Uh-huh." Colin's eyes never left Ryan's face. "Spill it." Ryan scratched behind his ear, obviously trying to find a way out of the conversation, but he knew that Colin wouldn't let him, and was surprised to find that he really had no desire to be let off easy. "I dunno, I guess I'm still, okay, yeah, I'm pissed." "Not surprised. Seeing a picture like that would bother me." He smiled. "Especially considering the subject..." "You aren't exactly Mr. Universe yourself." "True." Colin leaned forward. "You know people do this. It's a joke. Embarrassing as hell, and I don't care for it, but it means nothing." "I know." Ryan had turned away from the window altogether. He laced his fingers together as he leaned forward, studying them with an intensity that showed the depth of his unease. "It's not that. It's...you saw the reaction? I heard about it, and checked it out. Insane. Like they own me." Colin frowned. "They are looking out for you. That's all." "I know, I know. But I can fight my own battles. I don't need then tearing each other up over something so superficial. I mean, if it were really me, maybe, well, yeah, I'd be pissed. But this...this is just...stupid. Like I'm property. Like they are defending their property, and I'm it." He huffed and clenched his fists. "I just want to make people laugh. That's all. No fighting, no possessions, no obsessed fans, just laughter. Laughter, the leave me be, is that too much to ask?" There was no answer, and Ryan expected none. He merely turned his gaze back to the window, where he was shielded from the outside, but with everyone looking in.