Rating: some R, mostly PG-13 Pairing: Ry/Col Disclaimer: Don't know, don't sue Synopsis: I think it's time our favorite couple became legal, don't you? Archive: Sure, just tell me where/when Part 1 Colin April 22, 2004 Four o'clock. I'd better get finish putting dinner together. Ryan will be home by six and I want everything perfect tonight. All the prep work is done; I just have to put it together. Usually I would have made my chili-rubbed chicken, but Ryan loves Indian food--I hope he likes the recipe I found. We'll have champagne, of course, and the cheesecake is done too. God, he's 45 years old today. How did we get that old? He sure doesn't look that old. OK, his hair is finally going gray now that he's stopped dyeing it, and those laugh lines are becoming permanent, but he's still in great shape, still breathtaking. 4:15--less than 2 hours now! I hope the commute from Seattle isn't too bad on his back. I wish he was teaching in Bellingham instead, but that's my Ryan. People who don't know him think he's a little stand-offish, but that's because he's shy. He'll do anything for his friends, and when that old high school buddy of his asked him to teach a drama class at Washington State he just couldn't say no. Oh well, I'll make sure to make it up to him! At least we don't have to trek down to Los Angeles that much any more. "Whose Line" and "The Drew Carey Show" are both off the air, so we really only need to go down there for special occasions. I hate that place anyway. Ryan's not too fond of it either, but he somehow managed to hide his distaste better than I ever did. And this ranch in Washington is beautiful--close enough to our relatives in Vancouver who still want to see us, and far away enough from those who don't. Oh, sure, I'd like to be a little closer to Luke, but I get into Toronto a lot with commercials and the occasional TV show, and he comes out here every summer. No, this life really is perfect. Actually, neither one of us really has to work at all anymore. We both get royalty checks from all of our various projects, and now that DVDs of "Whose Line" are being sold the money is pouring in. I've got to hand it to Drew--the man knows how to make a buck (or several million, to be precise). Those DVDs are a gold mine. Ryan and I had a blast making the commercials. We did them like our old "Greatest Hits" routines. I think they're hilarious, and we both get fan mail telling us that the commercials are almost as good as the shows. It's a far cry from having to sell my CD collection to buy Luke's diapers, I'll tell you. There, dinner is almost done. Let me just run upstairs to freshen up. Oh shit, the ring. Where did I put it? Thank God, there it is. I hope he likes it. I hope he says yes. God, please let him say yes! I'll wear my blue silk shirt and black pants; he always compliments me on that outfit. Now back downstairs to set the table. We'll use our good china tonight, and where did I put those candlesticks? Ugh, they're a little tarnished. No time to polish them now; I'll make sure the lights are turned down low. Let me check on the rice; everything should be done in a half an hour. Oh God, there's the car door. He's home early! Will you listen to me, sounding like a lovesick teenager just thinking about him. But I don't care. I'm so madly in love with him it doesn't matter what I sound like, as long as he loves me back. "Hey, babe, I'm home!" I hear the soft thud of the front door, and then the creak of the closet door as he hangs up his jacket--the brown leather one I gave him for Valentine's Day. The sound of his voice is enough to make my knees weak. "In the kitchen, birthday boy!" I manage to squeak as I take off my apron and straighten my clothes. Ryan joins me in the kitchen. God, he looks good. He's wearing a light green shirt that brings out the color of his eyes and those khaki pants that fit him so well. The aroma of the grilled apple chutney chicken wafts through the air. "Mmm, that smells good," he says, pulling me into a passionate kiss. "You smell even better. Taste good, too!" "Oh, you!" I can feel my face go red at the compliment. "Go get washed up. Dinner's almost ready." He goes upstairs as I start putting dinner on the table. Ten minutes later he's back downstairs, dressed in the same clothes but looking relaxed and refreshed. I'm not nearly in as good shape. I've put the ring behind a plant on the windowsill and I keep looking over there. I'm so tense; I hope he doesn't notice until I'm ready to give it to him. He follows me back into the kitchen to help me put the dishes on the table, and then we sit down to eat. "Col, this is fabulous. Thank you so much!" "Oh, it was no trouble," I say, pleased that I've made him so happy. "Don't give me that. I've cooked Indian food myself, and I know homemade when I taste it. You must have started this chutney right after I left this morning." Actually, I started it last night, but I'm not about to tell him that. "You're worth it, sweetheart. So tell me, how was the class? Do you think any of these kids have real chops?" Please let him keep talking; I don't want him to see me shaking! "Yeah, a couple of them really might. You OK, love? You don't look so good." "I'm fine. Maybe a little tired. More rice?" I quickly change the subject, and we spend the rest of dinner exchanging news about our day and otherwise indulging in the small talk that we had perfected in all our years together. Fortunately I don't have to say much. Ryan may be quiet around strangers, but when you get him around his friends his comedian instincts take over and you can't shut him up. It gives me a moment to reflect on the past 10 years. We've known each other for nearly a quarter of a century now, and for the first 15 years or so we really were only friends. Oh, sure, we flirted on stage at Second City and "Whose Line" and I guess from time to time I thought about what it would be like to really be with him, but I was always able to rationalize my feelings. `I just miss Deb,' I'd think, or `It's just because I love him so much as a friend.' But one night during a "Whose Line" game in England I saw a strange gleam in his eyes. After the show we went out for a few drinks with the gang, as usual, and then we went back to our hotel. Usually we went our separate ways in the lobby, but that night Ryan stopped me in the elevator from punching the button to my floor. "Hey, Col," he said, and I noticed he was blushing furiously. "How about coming up to my room for a minute? I, umm, wanna talk to you about something." Something fluttered in the pit of my stomach, and I instinctively knew what he wanted to say. I also knew instantly how I'd respond. Trying to calm him a little, I smiled up at him and gently touched his arm. "Sure, Ry, let's go." Once we got to his room Ryan sat down at the foot of the bed and I sat next to him, not quite touching him. He couldn't look at me at first, and started stammering, but when he finally did look up his eyes were shining with tears. "Oh, Jesus, Col, I don't know quite how to say this, but, uhhh, I think I'm in love with you." He buried his face in his hands and turned away from me, obviously scared to see my reaction. I took him in my arms and started running my hands through his thick curls. By the time I pulled away and looked at him, my heart was thumping manically. "That's good, Ry, because I know I'm in love with you." And then I kissed him, very softly, on the lips. I can't begin to describe the look on his face--love, joy, and utter peace glowed from those beautiful green eyes. That was our first night together. Somehow we've managed to stay together all these years. And tonight... I don't think he has any idea this is coming. It didn't occur to me either until I heard that Canada was legalizing marriage for gays. The thing is, if you asked either one of us neither Ryan nor I would call ourselves gay. Ryan is the only man I've ever been attracted to, and I'm sure he feels the same way about me. Even now I really am more attracted to women. But what can I tell you? We fell in love. It's real--as real as what I had with Deb, only more so. So when I heard that we had the chance to make our relationship legal it all started to make sense. I suppose I should have talked about it with him first, but he's always the one making the sweeping romantic gestures toward me. I want to surprise him. Oh, God, I think I'm gonna be sick. He has to say yes. He just has to! Ryan's looking at me strangely. He must have stopped talking and is waiting for a response, but I'll be damned if I have any idea what he said. "Earth to Colin," he jokes, but I can see the concern on his face. "Sorry, babe," I joke back, "I was dazzled by your beauty." Well, that's true enough! Temporarily satisfied, Ryan finishes his dinner and I get up to clear the table, looking toward the window as casually as I can to make sure the ring is still there. Ryan moves to join me, but I nudge him back into his seat with a kiss. "No, babe, you've had a long day. You sit there and rest. I'll be right back with dessert." Ryan reaches up to stroke my back, and after a long, slow kiss I gently extricate myself and retreat into the kitchen, returning a few minutes later with the cheesecake, two glasses, and the champagne. I've stuck a large, lit candle in the middle of the cake. I set everything on the table and slide onto Ryan's lap, burying my face in the sweet length of his neck. "Happy Birthday, sweetheart. I love you more than you'll ever know." "I love you too, Colin. I always have, and I always will." His kiss is enough to make me swoon. My God, how I love him! "Make a wish," I tease, and as soon as he blows out the candle I kiss him again. "Damn, that wish came true fast!" he says, and we both start giggling as I sit down. Before long we've finished all of the cheesecake and most of the champagne, our toasts getting sillier as the bottle empties. We're both a little tipsy but neither of us is really drunk, and I feel the lump in my stomach start to grow. It's time. I reach over to the window and pull the package from behind the plant, then slide it across the table and grab Ryan's hand. "Happy Birthday, my love. I hope you like it." "Why, thank you, Colin. I'm sure I will." Generally Ryan's a bit of a slob when he opens packages, ripping the paper off and tossing it aside. Lately he's been trying to be gentler, at least with my presents. He carefully unties the ribbon and peels the tape from the paper, making sure not to tear it. He doesn't notice as I get up from my seat and kneel down next to him. Finally he opens the little velvet box and sees the thick gold ring with a large diamond embedded in the center. I hold my breath, waiting for his reaction. "My God, Colin! It's stunning. But..." His eyes are question marks. I've never given him jewelry before, mostly because I know he probably wouldn't wear it--he hasn't worn a ring since he removed the one Pat gave him all those years ago. "Yeah, I know," I stammer "It's not quite my usual present. But I had something else in mind. Ryan, I love you so much. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Will...will you marry me?" My voice is just above a whisper, and I can barely stand to look at him. When I do, it's not a pretty sight. Ryan is staring at me, utterly shocked. Oh, God, this is going all wrong, horribly, horribly wrong. In desperation I start to backpedal. "Yes, I guess this wasn't such a good idea, was it? We should have talked about it first..." "Col..." I vaguely hear his voice, but it sounds distant and foreign. I can hear my heartbeat whooshing in my ears and a lump starts up in my throat. Don't cry. I mustn't cry. "It's just that it's legal in Canada now, and I'm sure it'll be legal in the States soon too. Heck, it pretty much is in Vermont already, and..." "Colin..." Out of the corner of my eye I can see that he's dropped to the floor beside me. His voice is a little more forceful now, but I'm still afraid to look up. Tears are welling in my eyes. I've gone from mentally planning our wedding to contemplating the possibility that I've scared him completely away. Oh God, Ryan, I'm sorry. Please don't leave me. We can stay exactly as we are, for as long as you want. Forever, if that's what you want. As long as you stay with me. Words are coming out of my mouth, but I have no idea whether they even make sense. "But you're right. We're still kind of famous, and the public may have a problem with it. I guess we don't really need a ceremony to prove we love each other. I just thought that maybe..." "Colin!" Now I have no choice but to pay attention to what he's saying, because his arms are around me and his lips, his sweet, luscious lips, are covering my face with kisses. I finally gather up the courage to look at him and realize that for the past few minutes I've gone somewhat insane. That look in his eyes--I've seen it before. But when? And then when I remember I start to cry in earnest, but from joy rather than fear. He's looking at me in exactly the same way he did the night I first told him I loved him. "Colin Andrew Mochrie, you are the most wonderful person I have ever met," he chokes out, tears pouring down his cheeks. "I thank God for every day that I can be with you. I love you, baby. Of course I'll marry you!" Part 2 Ryan The following August BEEP! Damn alarm clock! I swear, whoever invented these things should be shot. I stretch an arm over the slim, balding man still asleep beside me and slap the clock into submission, gently kissing his forehead as I snuggle against him, the gold and diamond ring on my left hand brushing against his chest. It's only 6:00; I can let him sleep a little longer. The warm August breeze wafts over us both as we lie here in our king-size bed, which takes up most of the master bedroom of our Lake Ontario cottage. I've been awake for a while myself, watching my Colin sleep. I love watching him sleep, how his hand curls under his chin, his chest gently rising and falling as he breathes. To be honest, I love watching him do practically anything. God, I love him so much! I can't believe we've been together for more than 10 years now. It seems like just yesterday we finally admitted to each other what had been brewing since the day we met--that despite neither of us ever before or since being attracted to other men, we were desperately in love with each other. For five long years we kept our affair secret; stealing a few precious moments when we were working in the same city, always making sure that our wives wouldn't discover us. Then five years ago Colin couldn't stand it any more. Well, to be honest I couldn't take much more of it myself. Seeing him only a few times a year was torture, sweet, wonderful torture, but always awful in the end. But I was afraid to give up the life I knew. It was Colin who had the courage to finally tell Deb and force my hand. You know, people always think I'm the dominant one, but it's all an act. I'm more of an asshole, really, throwing tantrums and using my height to my advantage to get my way. Colin's the only one who's never been afraid of me. He never blows up, never even raises his voice, but he doesn't take any of my shit either. He just uses that quiet way of his to convince me that his way is better. So when he decided that we needed to be together there wasn't any doubt that eventually it would happen. He called me from his home in Toronto one night, telling me that he'd left Deb and Luke, and was heading out to California to be with me. "I've made my choice, Ryan," he said. "I'll be in Los Angeles by Saturday. I'll expect your answer then." That night I really thought I hated him. Telling Pat was a fucking nightmare. She's a good woman, and she loved me so much. She never saw it coming--I can still see the betrayal in her eyes. I loved her too; still do, really. But sometimes life forces you to make a choice, and I had long since made mine. Telling our kids was even harder. How do you explain to children who barely understand sex that Daddy is leaving Mommy and going to live with Uncle Colin? They're a little older now, and I think they're beginning to accept us. They'll be coming today; I guess that says something. Of course, any animosity I had toward Colin melted the instant I looked into those deep brown eyes. I could never stay mad at him. It would be like being angry at air. I need him. I love him. It's as simple as that. I moved out of the house in Sherman Oaks and we found a small condominium where we started our new life together. Those first six months were hell--I was in the middle of my divorce, Colin had to fly back and forth to Toronto to attend to his, and we had to figure out how to keep seeing our kids while dealing with two extremely pissed-off ex-wives. After we broke up Pat moved the kids back to Vancouver to be closer to her family. I kept the ranch in Bellingham as part of the divorce settlement, and eventually put Colin's name on the title. Most of my extended family is a tolerable car ride away. I'm a homebody even on the best of days, and I've always loved the ranch. Unless I get an urge to get on a stage, which isn't too often anymore, I really feel no need to leave. And I hate flying--those things are fucking deathtraps. But Deb chose to stay in Toronto until Luke finishes school and Colin convinced me, in that sweet, gentle way of his, that we couldn't stay hermits forever. He was always willing to fly back and forth, but he wanted me to develop a better relationship with Luke--the poor kid was as freaked out about us as Sam and Mac were. So we found a good therapist in Seattle who helped me get over the worst of my fear. Mind you, I still don't like flying all that much, but when Colin looks at me with those soft chocolate eyes I can't deny him anything. Within a year after moving in together we were making several trips a year to Ontario, and a year after that we bought this house with the money we got from selling our old houses. Of course, we also had to start telling everybody else about us. Telling the "Whose Line" bunch was, well, you could call it interesting. We gathered Drew, Dan, Greg, Brad, and Wayne into the green room. We'd tell the others later. Colin slowly slipped his arm around me as I stammered, "Um, guys, we have something to tell you..." Dan started getting flustered, and quickly left the room. I guess he saw what was coming and he was none to pleased about it. I could see the wheels turning in his head, trying to figure out how the show would be affected. That's Dan for you; screw what's good for the people involved, as long as his bottom line was OK. But it was the reaction of the other four that stunned us. One by one they started to giggle. Apparently we hadn't hidden our relationship as well as we had thought. "So, when's the wedding?" Greg smirked, as Drew and Brad fell over each other in gales of laughter. Even Wayne was laughing. Poor Colin, he was so embarrassed. "There's no wedding, and dammit guys, it's not funny!" he muttered. But of course it was. We had spent the better part of 10 years on stage kissing, grabbing and otherwise seducing each other. And although Col and I are both good actors, we're not that good. How could we think no one knew? Within a couple of minutes I was laughing myself and pulled Colin into a deep, passionate kiss to quiet his protests, which of course made our friends laugh even harder. Thank God for them. Most people weren't nearly as supportive, and we needed to lean on them a lot in those early days. But as the years went by it got a little easier, day by day. And now here we are. Greg's question finally has an answer. After tonight my Colin and I will be together forever. I am one lucky bastard. We came up here to the cottage 2 months ago, and have spent most of our time planning today's celebration. I have to admit, I really do love this house almost as much as our ranch in Washington. Colin's done a great job decorating, and it has a beautiful view of the lake. We redid the kitchen last summer so we have all the room we need to entertain our friends. And it even has two spare rooms for when the kids come to visit--we've kept a lot of their stuff here so they can settle right in, and when they're not here we use the rooms as studies. As for today, well, I left that pretty much up to Colin. For someone so shy you'd never believe how he can whip up spectacular parties with almost no notice. Of course, he then tends to spend the entire party in the kitchen, but there's no danger of that today. Within a week of our engagement he had drawn up a guest list and pulled some strings with his network of friends to reserve a ballroom at one of the best hotels in Toronto. Oh God, how I teased the poor thing as he flitted around, ordering flowers, working out the menu, and taking care of all the other little details. Don't get me wrong, I'm as happy about this wedding as he is. It's just that I'd be equally happy getting married by a wedding official here at the house, with a small circle of friends and family as guests. But if my Colin wants a big wedding, then that's what I'm going to give him. I did design our wedding rings. Nothing too spectacular really-- they're braided pink, yellow, and white gold. But when Colin saw them he nearly started crying. "They're beautiful, Ryan," he murmured, and his eyes were so filled with love it made me dizzy. While I was at the jeweler's I splurged and got Colin one of those fancy gold watches. He couldn't believe it. For all the money we make you'd think he'd spend some on himself once in a while, but he gets his watches from the stand at the drug store. After all the money he spent on my ring (and believe me, I nearly choked when I saw the cost of one like it), it was the least I could do. I planned the honeymoon too. Colin has no idea where we're going. All I told him was that we'll be flying somewhere and that I'll tell him at the airport. He's going to flip when he finds out--it's somewhere he's always wanted to go. Drew's hanging on to the tickets and stuff. My Colin tends to be a bit of a snoop when he thinks I'm hiding something from him, and I really want this to be a surprise. We'll come back here tomorrow and then leave the next day--I didn't want to cram everything in too tightly. There's no point in wearing ourselves out traveling; I have much better ways of doing that! It's almost 7 now. Colin begins to murmur into my chest as he struggles to awaken. "Come on, love," I whisper, nuzzling him gently. "Time to get up. We have a busy day ahead of us." With a yawn and a stretch of his arms Colin fully regains consciousness and turns his lovely face toward mine. "Hey there, you beautiful thing," he says, his brown eyes twinkling as he tilts his head up to kiss me. "Been awake long?" "For a little bit. Just admiring the view." My God, what a view. My chest hurts I love him so much. With a giggle Colin cuddles closer to me and I gently suckle an earlobe. "I can't believe today's finally here, he says. "Sometimes I can't believe any of it." Oh, my love, do you need some reassurance? Your wish is my command. I slip my hands under his undershirt, caressing his soft skin covering firm muscles. "I guess I'll have to bring you to your senses, then, won't I?" Colin's breathing starts getting shallower and faster as my hands glide over his soft chest hair. I can tell he's torn between wanting to get ready and wanting to stay here. I make the decision for him. Pushing his arms over his head, I slide the T-shirt off of him. Despite his reservations he wriggles with pleasure. "Ry, no, wait. We're gonna be late..." I pay no attention to him. My lips follow where my hands have been--sucking on a nipple and gently brushing against his tender body. After all these years I know exactly how to touch him to drive him insane, and today he's responding even faster than usual. I'm nearly cross-eyed with desire myself. "Hush. They can't start without us. Everything will be fine." Colin makes one last feeble attempt to resist me. "I don't know, isn't it bad luck to see the bride before the wedding?" He's nearly incoherent now, just the way I want him. He's whimpering with pleasure as my mouth continues a trail down his body. I run a finger along the waistband of his boxers, smiling as the soft pooch of his belly twitches. Then, sliding the underwear down, I wrap my hands around his hips, my lips hovering over his throbbing member. I blow softly and he lets out a moan, thrusting up to meet me. I look up into his lust-hooded eyes. "Col, honey," I say, a wicked grin crossing my face, "It's a little late for that. Besides, unless you're not telling me something, and from the look of things I doubt it, there's not going to be a bride." His face is flushed and beaded with sweat. He's beautiful. "Yeah, I guess you're right," he finally manages to gasp. "Well, in that case..." And I lower my mouth and wrap my lips around him. Colin I lay in Ryan's arms, sighing with contentment. "You are amazing, you know that?" "You're not so bad yourself. That thing with your tongue..." "Now stop that, or we'll be late to our own wedding! We're running late as it is." "It's not my fault you're irresistible," Ryan pouts. He's so cute when he gets like that. I give him a light smack on the backside and jump up to take a shower. As I head out the door I look back. Ryan's moved over to my side of the bed, breathing into my pillow. I'm so tempted to go back to him, but now we really are running late. I'll have to wait until tonight. My eyes travel toward the closet, and I remember our tuxedos and overnight bags. "Babe, can you put the clothes in the car, please? I'll only be a minute." Snapping out of his reverie, Ryan gazes at me and nods sleepily. I take a quick shower and throw on an old pair of jeans and a red T- shirt. By the time I get downstairs and start brewing a pot of coffee, he's back from the car, still in the ratty old sweatpants and T-shirt that he wore to bed. He's still glowing from this morning's festivities. "Sit down, babe. I'll scramble some eggs for breakfast." "No, thanks, Col. I'm not hungry," he says. "I'll just have a cup of coffee. Besides, we have to go soon." "Oh, no you won't. We may be too busy to have lunch, and I won't have my husband passing out at the altar! The wedding isn't until 6, and it'll only take an hour to get there. You'll eat now." "Yes, dear. Whatever you say," Ryan says, his eyes shining with amusement and love. We really are like an old married couple already, and he loves it when I baby him. I quickly whip up the eggs as the toast browns, and minutes later we start to eat. Ryan tries to start a game of footsie under the table, but I don't respond--we have no time for that now, and I'm starting to get nervous. As soon as we finish eating Ryan hops in the shower while I wash the dishes and take a last look around to make sure we haven't forgotten anything. Twenty minutes later Ryan's downstairs, dressed in an identical, if somewhat larger, outfit as mine. It's one of those subtle ways we drive people crazy, being so similar. "Got everything you need?" "Yep." "Rings?" "I've got yours. Do you have mine? And speaking of which, where's your other one?" Ryan reaches a hand into his pocket. "Your wedding ring is right here. And as for the engagement ring, I left it upstairs. Don't want to lose it with everything going on tonight." He looks around one more time, then says, "OK, let's do it." By 10 AM on the dot we're on the road, Ryan driving and me navigating, as usual. I have a much better sense of direction than he does, and he's better at pushing his way through traffic. We really do make a good team. I'm usually pretty calm during car rides, but today I'm tapping my fingers against the window of the SUV. It doesn't take Ryan too long to notice, and without taking his eyes off the road he brings my other hand up to his lips. "Scared, hon?" "Yeah, a little. More excited, though." "Me too." Ryan turns to give me a little smile, and my heartbeat flutters. Seconds later he has to turn his attention back to the road, because someone's almost cut us off. Ryan's driven in LA, so normally this sort of thing wouldn't faze him, but today he has no patience for it. "Look out, you SOB," he yells, his face turning various shades of purple. "Calm down, babe, it's OK. Just breathe." "Sorry. I guess I'm a little more nervous than I thought." "I know, baby. But it'll be fine. Eight more hours and we'll be another boring married couple." "Us boring?! Never!" Then as he calms down a bit he changes the subject. "So Luke is coming with your sister's family, right?" "Yeah, that's right. It was good of Deb to let him come." I sigh as I think of my son. I can imagine the conversation between the two of them; I'm sure it wasn't fun. Deb reluctantly agreed to let me have visitation rights when we got divorced, but she doesn't like to be reminded why we split up. I can't say that I blame her. "Well, Luke can be as convincing as his dad when he wants to be," Ryan chuckles, squeezing my thigh. "But I'm really surprised Pat is letting Mac and Sam come. My brother Rob must be more persuasive than I've given him credit for." A cloud passes over his bright green eyes, and I can tell that his thoughts are echoing mine. For all of the trouble Deb put me through, it's nothing compared to how Pat reacted. I can't say that I blame her, either. "It must have been particularly hard on her, you know. At least with Deb she saw us horsing around on stage years ago. I got the feeling when I told her that she wasn't all that surprised about us. It must have been quite a shock for Pat." "Shock is one word for it. I'm damn lucky she didn't kill me right then! Do you think we'll have time to see the kids before the ceremony?" "Probably not. My sister isn't coming until this afternoon, anyway. We'll have to make sure to track them down at the reception." We pass the next 10 minutes in comfortable silence. I fiddle with the radio for a bit and catch the last few seconds of a Frank Sinatra song before turning it off again. Outside trees are giving way to housing developments as we get near Toronto. "I wonder if Greg and Drew are at the hotel yet," I ponder aloud. Greg and Drew have been our close friends for years and have been particularly supportive, in their own sarcastic way, of our relationship. When we asked them to be best men, Drew for Ryan and Greg for me, both of them readily agreed. "Yeah, I talked to Drew last night. He had just gotten in, and Greg and Jen were already there, so we're all set on that score," Ryan replies. "Looks like everything is under control." An involuntary shudder runs through me. "Don't say that! You're tempting fate!" "Oh come on, Col! When did you get superstitious all of a sudden?" "When I decided to marry you, that's when! I don't want anything to go wrong tonight!" "Don't worry, honey, everything will be perfect. And even if it isn't, I love you anyway." "I love you too, Ryan," I murmur, looking at Ryan with the `I'm so adorable' gaze I had patented years before. "Now don't start with that! You know I can't resist you when you look at me like that, and we really can't stop for any fun now!" "Spoilsport!" Satisfied that I've unnerved him, I settle back into the seat with a smirk. A few minutes later we're within the city limits, and shortly thereafter we pull up to the hotel driveway. It's just in time, too. I can tell that Ryan's back is starting to hurt him. I'll have to give him a quick rubdown when we get up to our room. Ryan stretches his back as he climbs out of the SUV and hands the valet the keys. Meanwhile I go around the back, slinging an overnight bag over each shoulder and draping the tuxedoes over my arm. Ryan moves to take some of it from me, but I shake my head. Poor baby, he's in pain, and I don't want to make him work his back any more than he has to, at least not until after the reception! We go up to the reception desk and a pleasant looking woman smiles at me. "Room for Colin Mochrie, please," I say, giggling as I squirm away from Ryan, who is trying to pinch my ass. "Yes, sir. Here are your keys. The bridal suite is all ready for you." "The bridal suite?" I look at Ryan, raising my eyebrows in surprise. "I have connections in this town too, y'know," Ryan said, lightly tapping my nose. "C'mon, let's go upstairs." The `I'm so adorable' look back on my face, I follow Ryan to the elevator. Fortunately it's empty, because we're a bit distracted from all of the flirting we've been doing over the past couple of hours. As soon as the door closes Ryan punches the button for the 15th floor and pounces on me. I guess his back is getting better! We're locked in a passionate embrace when the door opens, a young family waiting to get on. The look on the mother's face is priceless. We both have to run down the hall to keep from bursting out laughing, and I nearly drop all of the bundles I'm carrying. As Ryan opens the door we hear the little girl, who was no more than 4, say "Mommy, what were those two men doing?" "Trust me, kid, you don't wanna know, "Ryan whispers in my ear as we fall into our rooms, doubling over. As soon as I recover I look around the suite. It's gorgeous. A soft, thick rug covers the floor. I file in the back of my mind the possibility of us rolling around on it later tonight. My eyes wander some more--gee, the sofa might be fun too! Then we go into the bedroom, which features an enormous four-poster bed. "God, Ry, look at that bed." I turn to the green-eyed man holding my hand and leer. "Want to try it out?" "I'd love to baby, but we'd better not. The way I'm feeling right now we'd end up staying here all day and miss the wedding. But don't worry--I'll make it up to you later." "You'd better!" I exclaim, going into the bathroom to splash some water on my face. Along one wall is a jacuzzi that's big enough for two. I have to splash even more water on myself to cool down. Just a few more hours and we can use it all we want. "Now be honest, how's your back?" "Pretty good, actually. It's a little stiff, but I've been through worse. The drive wasn't so bad." Ryan stretches his back out again and turns to look at me. I did plan this whole thing, and my poor Ryan is absolutely clueless when it comes to details. "OK, so what do we need to do now?" "First let's find Drew and Greg, and then we'll need to find the manager to make sure everything is ready to go. Do you remember what rooms they're in?" "Well, it was on the piece of paper you had when you talked to them, but that's back at the house. But if I know them they'll be at the bar." "Ryan, it's not even noon yet." "Col, who are we talking about here?" "Yes, of course, you're right. Let's go." And with that we go back downstairs to the hotel bar. Sure enough, Greg and Drew are sitting front and center, beers in hand, trying to out-wiseass each other. "Oh, for God's sake, will you two cut it out?" I say, throwing an arm around Greg. "Yeah, don't make us embarrass you!" Ryan joins in, clapping Drew on the back. "Oh, it's way too late for that, man," Drew cracks, standing up to give Ryan a proper hug. "So how are the two lovebirds today?" "Why, we're fine, thank, you Drew. Would you like a demonstration?" At this Ryan has to pound Greg on the back to keep him from choking. That sort of a comment is typical of Ryan, but coming from me is rather unexpected. I guess I'm a little mischievous today. "Great, now you're trying to kill me," Greg sputters. "Well think of it this way, you've brought a suit, one less thing for Jen to worry about--she can bury you in that!" We continue to kid each other at a furious pace for a while longer, actually much longer than we should have. I'm stunned when I look at my watch; the gold one Ryan gave me for our enagagement. "Oh Jesus, it's after one already. We've got to get going." We all get up together to find the hotel manager. At the reception desk we see a small, slightly squirrelly looking man. He recognizes us before I can see his name tag. "Hello, Mr. Mochrie, Mr. Stiles. I'm Christopher Johnson. I'm here to help any way I can." "It's nice to meet you. Can we see the rooms, please?" "Yes, of course, right this way." Ryan and I follow after him, Greg and Drew giving us a quick good bye and agreeing to meet in the bar later. Christopher leads us to the ballroom where the ceremony will be held. It's fairly standard but attractive. I, of course, saw it when I made the arrangements, but Ryan never has. I look at him and he nods his approval, giving me a little squeeze. "The ceremony will be in here. Will you be having a rehearsal?" "Yes, the minister will be here at two o'clock," I reply. I'm starting to tremble. "Very good. Then if you'll just follow me I'll show you where the cocktail hour and reception will be." "Heh heh, he said `cocktail,'" Ryan whispers in a very bad Beavis impression. I'm slightly annoyed, even though I can tell that he made the joke to calm me down. "Oh grow up, will you?" I gently punch his arm. But his smart aleck remark works, and I'm a little less stressed. A few minutes later we reach a glass-enclosed room overlooking Lake Ontario. "The cocktail hour will be over here on the left, and the reception will be over there where the tables are being set up. As you can see, there are doors leading outside for people to walk around if they'd like." "Wow, this is beautiful," Ryan says dreamily as he brushes a hand through what's left of my hair. "Nothing the best for you, babe," I reply, stretching up to plant a quick kiss on his cheek. "And here is the menu. Please let me know if anything seems wrong." Ryan looks over my shoulder, and we nod in unison as we scan down the list. "Yes, this is perfect, thank you," I say, handing the paper back to the hotel manager. "Is there anything else we need to cover?" "No, that should be it. I will be right outside at 2:00 to take care of any last minute items that may come up during the rehearsal. I have a few things to take care of in the meantime. If you need anything before then, please have me paged." "Thank you so much, Christopher, we'll see you at 2:00." "What time is it now, hon?" Ryan asks me as Christopher scurries off. "Twenty of. Let's go find Drew and Greg again. And Brad, Laura, and Reverend Miller should be here by now." "Right behind ya, babe!" Part 4 Ryan Colin and I head back toward the bar. I'm really getting edgy now. Drew and Greg are there already (I'm sure they never left), this time joined by Greg's wife, Jen, Laura Hall and her husband, and Brad and Seana. For a change Drew doesn't have a date. Colin and I both told him he was welcome to bring somebody, but the poor guy is in "stripper" mode again and he didn't want to bring one of them. I really hope he finds someone special someday. He's a good guy and he deserves to be as happy as Colin and I are. Brad is going to sing during the ceremony, accompanied by Laura, and they are huddled together, probably working out the final arrangement to the song we've asked them (OK, Colin's asked them) to sing. They all have a drink in their hands, as does a fairly short, stocky older man in a suit with his back turned to us. When he turns around I'm a little surprised to see that he's the minister. I've never actually met the man. He's an old family friend of Colin's who agreed to perform the ceremony for us. Neither Colin nor I are particularly religious, but we agreed that it seemed right to get our marriage properly blessed. Reverend Miller smiles warmly at Colin and walks over to us. "Hi, Reverend," Colin says, pulling away from me to shake the older man's hand. "It's good to see you again. I'd like you to meet Ryan." I notice that Colin's avoided the word "boyfriend" or "partner." In the all our years together we never came up with a term that we thought really described our relationship. Oh, well, "husband" will do very nicely. "It's good to see you, too, my boy. I'm very happy for you. And it's nice to meet you, young man." "Erm, thank you, Reverend. It's nice to meet you, too. Thank you so much for agreeing to perform the ceremony." As I shake the minister's hand my eyes drift toward the drink in his other hand. When I was growing up ministers didn't drink. I'm sure my mom would be horrified. Reverend Miller chuckles, seeing my confusion. "Don't be so surprised. After all, the Good Lord's first miracle was turning water into wine. And that was at a wedding too." "Besides," Colin chimes in, "this isn't exactly a typical wedding." "You can say that again," Greg says, as the rest of the group congregates around us. "So, guys, what's next?" "Well, I guess we need to find Christopher again," I say, and Colin and I lead the little group toward the ballroom. Sure enough, Christopher is waiting for us. Colin quickly makes the introductions and we go inside. All of the chairs are set up now, and the staff is starting to arrange the flowers. An electronic organ is off in one corner; next to it is a microphone. It's amazing what they can do with these ballrooms--it looks beautiful. "Brad, Laura, do you want to check out the equipment?" Colin asks, and our two friends settle in to their usual places. Brad gently taps on the microphone to make sure it's working and gives Laura a wink. She smiles back and begins playing a tune I've heard far too many times. Colin and I both cringe. "What's the matter, guys?" Brad asks innocently. "When you asked me to sing at the wedding, I assumed you wanted a Hoe Down." "Pull that later and I will kill you. I'm not kidding." Colin says, horrified. "And I'll hold you down for him," I add. Laura and Brad both burst out laughing, and Brad ambles over to ruffle my hair. "Don't worry, big guy, I won't screw around." It takes a while to choreograph the ceremony. The aisle is wide enough for us to walk down together, but it seems awkward, and having Greg and Drew walk with us would be silly. We finally decide that Colin and I will walk down the aisle separately; first him, then me. Greg and Drew will already be waiting at the altar. Good Lord, this is really happening! Colin and I are getting married! I look over at him and see the same disbelief mirrored in his eyes. I pull him close as we finish running through the rest of the program. It's going to be very simple, so it really doesn't take too long. By 3:00 we're done. Colin and I say goodbye to our friends and head back up to our suite. He's turned white, and I've started shaking. "Nervous, babe?" I ask, and he nods into my shoulder. "Yeah," he replies. "How about you?" "I think I'm gonna be sick, but otherwise I'm fine!" He scrunches his nose at my lame attempt at a joke. "You do know that I love you, don't you?" "Absolutely. Never doubted it for a minute. And I love you too." I tilt my head down to kiss him. "Enough to tell me where the honeymoon is?" he asks, looking up at me in that irresistible way he has. I can't help but start laughing. "Nice try, Col. No, I'm not telling you. You'll just have to wait." "Well, then, maybe I should make you wait for something else tonight." "Oh, yeah, that's really gonna happen. You know you can't keep your hands off me." And with that I push him onto the bed and we start making out. We are well on our way to going straight to the honeymoon when there's a knock at the door. In the minute it takes to walk through the bedroom and sitting room to see who it is I'm hoping that the bulge that's grown in my pants will deflate a little. No such luck. It's Drew, and his eyes move directly to my crotch. He hesitates before coming in. "Oh, gee, am I disturbing a moment?" "Well, yeah, but it's just as well. There's plenty of time for that later. Come on in." "Actually, I'm here to get you," he says. "I know this will sound goofy, but I thought it might be nice if you two were separated a bit before the big event. You know, kinda like making it a real wedding?" Colin and I both recoil and he realizes what he said. "Oh, shit, guys, I'm sorry. I know this is a real wedding. I just meant so it would be like a straight wedding--oh just forget it, I don't know what I'm talking about." He's squirming uncomfortably and shuffling his feet. We quickly move to reassure him. "It's OK, Drew," Colin says. "I think this is a little odd for all of us." The big guy heaves a sigh of relief. "Thanks, Col. So how about it. Ry? Greg will be here in a minute to help Colin." "Sound OK to you, babe?" I ask Colin, who is puttering around the room starting to get ready. He turns to me with a radiant smile that makes me stumble. I'm so happy I feel like jumping up and down like a 4 year old. "Sure, hon, go ahead. I'll see you downstairs," he says, pulling me into a deep kiss. Drew makes a retching sound and we all laugh. "You better get used to that, pal," I joke, rummaging through the closet for my tuxedo and shaving kit. In the hallway Drew and I pass Greg, who stops to hug me before going in to Colin. Drew and I get on the elevator and go down to his room on the 12th floor. He's already dressed in his suit and says to me, "Here, let me put the ring in my pocket before you lose it." I instinctively fish for the ring in my right front pocket and momentarily panic. Where the hell is it? "Your other left," Drew mutters and I sheepishly dig into the other pocket. Sure enough, there it is. Safely in my back pocket are my vows. You'd think that a couple of improv experts would be able to come up with something on the spot, and I suppose we could if we had to. But Colin and I both decided early on that we didn't want to take the risk of freezing up. Of course, I've memorized what I want to say, but at the moment I'm not exactly sure what my own name is. No, better to have it with me. I lay the tuxedo on the bed and go into the bathroom to shave, keeping the door open so Drew and I can continue to talk. "So Colin still has no idea where you guys are going on your honeymoon, right?" "Nope, and it's driving him crazy. You brought the tickets and itinerary with you?" "Yeah, I have them. I'll give them to you tomorrow before you leave." "Ouch!" I yelp. I've cut myself. It's a small cut, but damn, it hurts! I reach for some toilet paper to blot at the blood as Drew chuckles. "Hey, slow down, there, cowboy! I don't want to have to explain to Colin that his intended husband couldn't make the ceremony because he's bled to death!" "Oh, shut up! Like you've never done it!" I go back into the bedroom and strip out of my T-shirt and jeans, tossing them on the floor as I unzip the garment bag containing my tuxedo. I had to get it specially made. Being 6'6" and skinny, I can't buy much off the rack. My hands are starting to shake from nerves. I could really use a cigarette right about now, but I'm trying to quit. Probably should have waited another couple of weeks. I zip up the pants and let out another scream. Fuck! I caught myself in the zipper. Drew shakes his head pitifully as I extricate myself from the teeth. "Not a good move, man," he says. "You'll be wanting to use that later." I give him a dirty look. "It's OK," I say. "I'll have Colin kiss it and make it better." "Oh, great. Thank you for a preview of tonight's nightmare!" I button the dress shirt and make a feeble attempt to tie the bow tie. Stupid things, really. What moron decided that they looked elegant? They are not designed for flustered grooms. "Drew, I can't get this frigging thing tied. Can you help me?" "I can if you'll stand still for a minute. Jeez, will you calm down?" He expertly ties the tie in a matter of seconds. "Well, tonight's kind of important, in case you hadn't noticed." "Yeah, I noticed." My usually jovial friend turns serious. "Ryan, um, I want you to know how happy I am for you and Colin. I know how much you've gone through to get to today, and I wish you both a lifetime of happiness." "Thank you, Drew," I say with a hug. "And I hope you find someone yourself someday. In fact, I'm sure you will." Drew looks at his watch. "5:30. Show time. Do you have everything you need?" I remember the vows nestled in my jeans pocket and fish them out, slipping them into the pocket of my dress pants. Putting on the jacket, I take a last look in the mirror and turn to Drew with a smile. "Yep, I'm all set. Let's go." Part 5 Colin "You ready, Colin? It's 5:30." Greg asks as he smooths out my jacket. "As ready as I'll ever be." I give him a small smile, but my stomach is in knots. I need Ryan to calm me down. The enormity of what we're doing is fully sinking in, and I'm wavering between elation and sheer terror. "Look, man," Greg says, in his nasally voice. "I'm no good at all that mushy shit, and I'll admit that this is still a little weird for me, but I think you and Ryan make a great couple and I hope you'll be very happy together. And don't take any crap from anybody." "Thanks, Greg." I give him a quick hug, noticing that he stiffens slightly. Greg really is a nice guy, but open affection isn't his thing. "OK, we'd better head downstairs." Greg and I get on the elevator to go down to the lobby. Ryan and Drew are already there when we arrive. My God, Ryan is so handsome! Tall and elegant, he looks every inch the star he is. We walk toward each other and he crushes me in a hug. "I love you, Colin," he whispers into my neck. I look up and see tears welling in his ocean-green eyes. My vision is getting blurry too. "I love you too, Ryan." Drew scurries off somewhere as Ryan, Greg, and I huddle in a corner. We want all of the guests to be seated before we go over to the ballroom. From where we are near the bar we can see them file in, but they can't see us. Drew comes back with two white carnations in his hands. He pins one to Ryan's lapel and the other one to mine. He and Greg look us over and nod in approval. "All ready?" Greg asks, and Ryan and I both nod. "OK, then." And we walk toward the ballroom, Ryan and I clutching on to each other's hands. Christopher, ever reliable, is waiting outside. "Oh, good, there you are. All of the guests seem to be here. Shall we get started?" Ryan and I nod again. I'm beginning to feel like a bobble-head doll. At this point I can't speak. All I can do is nod. Christopher goes inside, and a few minutes later we hear the beginning bars of Bach's "Air on a G String." The artist in me notes how good that little organ sounds. Not cathedral quality, of course, but it's definitely getting the job done. The groom in me is a quivering wreck. "That's our cue," Greg says, and after quick hugs all around he and Drew go inside. Ryan and I are left alone for a few remaining moments. He strokes the side of my face as I caress his curls. "Well, hon, this is it," I say. Ryan can't even respond. But his glowing eyes give me all the answer I need. I let go of him and turn to enter the ballroom, Ryan waiting two paces before following me. All of the flowers are in place, exactly as I pictured it, and a long, white runner leads up to the makeshift altar. Reverend Miller is standing there, shuffling some papers and clearing his throat. Drew is swaying back and forth ever so slightly. Greg is in his usual stance, hands clasped in front of him. All of our friends and most of our family are here. All of our siblings, of course, as well as various nieces and nephews. The "Whose Line" cast and crew, British and American, take up two rows, and the "Drew Carey Show" folks are in another. Dan's fidgeting. Ryan and I debated whether to invite him at all, since he really doesn't approve of our relationship, but in this business it's never good to slight someone if you don't have to. I was pretty surprised that he accepted the invitation, but I guess he didn't want to slight us either. Oh well, Dan, after tonight we'll all be out of each other's hair. I'm certainly not going to let you spoil my day. Chip and Wayne are sitting next to each other, their wives and children flanking them. They're chuckling softly. In the next row Christa is already tearing up, and I see Kathy hand her a tissue as Diedrich pats her hand. Some old friends from our Second City days are also here, as are some of my friends from "22 Minutes" and "Black Fly." We really are lucky to have so many people who love us. Ryan's kids are cuddled together toward the front on my right. Mackenzie is so pretty in her blue party dress; a few years from now Ryan will have to beat the boys back with a baseball bat. Poor Sam looks uncomfortable in his suit--he's going through a growth spurt and is all arms and legs. He's going to look just like Ryan when he grows up. Both of them smile at me and I wink back. I feel something brush against me on the left and see Luke, my beautiful, brilliant boy. He smiles and gives me a thumbs-up and I reach over to pat his knee as I move on. Out of the corner of my eye I see Ryan tousle his hair. We really have put those kids through some heavy-duty crap over the past few years--I hope we didn't screw them up too badly. I finally reach the front of the room and move to the right side, next to Greg, Ryan standing on my left. Laura finishes playing and a hush falls over the crowd. Ryan loosely holds my hand as Reverend Miller begins to speak. Quite frankly, despite all of my obsessing over every other part of this ceremony I've left the sermon, such as it is, completely up to him. It's been so long since I've been in a church I had no idea what to suggest to him. Fortunately he's performed a few same-sex marriages already, and assured me that he knew exactly what to say. "Dearly beloved, we come here today to join Ryan and Colin in holy matrimony. Matrimony is not to be entered into lightly. It is a solemn and sacred commitment between two people to love without judgment, support each other through all of life's challenges, and be a constant source of comfort and guidance. In all these ways Colin and Ryan have proved themselves to each other time and time again. I have had the privilege of knowing Colin since he was a child, and can vouch for his honesty, generosity, and boundless courage. He has faced both the trials and the triumphs of his life with humility and grace. And although I met Ryan just today, from what Colin has told me he shares all of the same qualities..." As his preamble continues I take a deep breath, staring straight ahead, my mind a complete blank. Ryan's leg is twitching like it used to do as we started "Whose Line" tapings. I'm so overwhelmed I can barely hold myself together, and although I don't dare look over at Ryan I can tell he's feeling the same way. "And now Mr. Brad Sherwood will sing "Bridge Over Troubled Water," accompanied by Ms. Laura Hall." Oh, God, I'm choking up. Ryan and I have both always loved this song, and thought it would be perfect for our wedding. It's not one of those gushy love songs, but with everything we've had to go through to get to today it perfectly describes how we feel about each other. I guess neither of us took into account how it would affect us right now, standing here. As Brad gets up I can feel Ryan's knees start to buckle and I encircle his waist to steady him. Laura starts playing the opening bars and then Brad begins: When you're weary, feeling small, When tears are in your eyes, I will dry them all; I'm on your side. When times get rough And friends just can't be found, Like a bridge over troubled water I will lay me down. Like a bridge over troubled water I will lay me down. When you're down and out, When you're on the street, When evening falls so hard I will comfort you. I'll take your part. When darkness comes And pain is all around, Like a bridge over troubled water I will lay me down. Like a bridge over troubled water I will lay me down. Sail on silvergirl, Sail on by. Your time has come to shine. All your dreams are on their way. See how they shine. If you need a friend I'm sailing right behind. Like a bridge over troubled water I will ease your mind. Like a bridge over troubled water I will ease your mind. I always knew that Brad had a beautiful voice, and tonight he's in especially fine form. By the time he finishes all of us--Brad, Laura, Drew, Greg, Ryan, me, hell, even Reverend Miller--are in tears. And I can hear sniffling in back of me, too. Reverend Miller continues. "Ahem. Thank you, Brad. And now I believe Ryan and Colin have something to say to each other." Here it is. After 10 years as lovers, here it is. We've already decided that Ryan is going first. He turns to Drew to get my ring and then gazes into my eyes. As he takes my left hand in his I see that look on his face again, the look that tells me that no matter what else we face in this life, Ryan loves me. He makes a motion toward his pocket but then drops his hand and opens his mouth. "My dear, sweet Colin," he begins, a small smile counteracting the tears still pouring from his eyes. "We've known each other for so long. Through everything you have been my dearest friend, my most ardent supporter, and my trusted confidante. I stand here awed by your courage, warmed by your gentle spirit, and emboldened by your steadfast love. I pledge my life and my love to you tonight and for all time." As he slips the ring on my finger I feel like I may faint. Despite all our years together I never would have thought him to be this romantic. Dear God, how I love him. I take a deep breath to compose myself. Greg taps me on the shoulder and hands me the ring, but I'm so rattled that I drop it. We both reach for it at the same time, bumping our heads as we lean over. The mishap makes us both chuckle, and I'm sufficiently calm enough to speak. Straightening, Greg hands me the ring and I turn to my beloved. "Ryan, my love, you have filled my life with a joy I dared not dream possible. In my darkest hours you have been a steady beacon to guide me. Your constant encouragement even from our earliest days has given me strength when I had none of my own. And through everything your laughter and love have served as an example of the man I want to be. I cherish you, Ryan. Until the end of time, my love, my heart, and my soul are yours." We are both openly sobbing now, and our hands are shaking so badly that I can barely put the ring on his finger. When I finally do, we clasp our hands together and look at each other for a moment, then turn back to Reverend Miller. "Colin and Ryan have stood here before this congregation and before Holy God pledging themselves to each other. They have exchanged rings as a symbol of that commitment. I therefore now declare them beloved husbands. You may kiss." Oh my God, we did it! We're married!! As Ryan and I slide into each other's arms an enormous cheer bursts from the crowd. I melt into the sweetest kiss of my life as my husband--my HUSBAND!--embraces me for what seems like an eternity. I don't ever want to let go. But finally we break from each other and face the congregation. Greg is desperately trying to be stoic but a few tears are falling down his cheek. Drew has long since lost the battle--his face is wet and red. I look over at Laura, who is dabbing at her eyes with a tissue. I don't envy women at moments like these; the poor thing is waging a losing war with her melting makeup. But she recovers enough to begin the recessional, the "Ode to Joy" from Beethoven's 9th Symphony. Ryan and I start down the aisle, arms entwined, extending our hands to everyone we can reach. A couple rows from the front we reach our children, who get up from their seats and surround us. Sure it's not protocol, but who cares. The five of us stand in a little bunch for a few minutes, Ryan and I kissing the tops of all of their heads as they squeeze the breath out of us. Then we all continue to walk out the door together and into the lobby, where we will form a small receiving line. I can hear Drew and Greg behind us, Greg stopping for a minute when he reaches Jen to kiss her. Ryan and I stand along the wall, Luke, Mac, and Sam next to us, and Greg and Drew after them. One by one our dearest friends approach us to give us hugs, kisses, and their best wishes. God, if you want, you can take me now. My life won't ever get any better than this moment. By the end of it I feel thoroughly mauled, but so loved. It's 6:45; the reception starts at 7. The crowd starts to pull away, various relatives guiding our kids with them so Ryan and I can share a moment of privacy. When every one is gone, we burst out laughing. "I just can't believe this," I say, kissing Ryan's face down to his jaw line. "I can't either, babe, but it's true. It's not a dream. Look, here are the rings to prove it!" And he clutches my hand, our rings clinking together. Then my husband and I head toward our reception and our new life together. Part 6 Ryan This can't possibly be real, can it? Colin and I are married?! The past hour seems like a dream, but there's a new ring on my left hand and a matching one on Colin's. We're standing outside the reception hall, and my beautiful little husband (Holy shit! He's my husband!) is glowing beside me. I lean over and kiss the top of his head as he snuggles against me. Turning his face toward me I kiss him for what must be the hundredth time today. I could easily do it a thousand more times. "I love you, Colin," I say. He strokes my face, tears glistening in his chocolate eyes. "I know, Ryan. I love you too. Come on, let's go inside." It's a beautiful summer night. Our friends and family are standing in little groups, oblivious to us standing in the doorway. Outside the sky is a riot of orange, scarlet, and violet, softly fading into a deep blue. The rays of the setting sun dance on the lake, making it sparkle like the diamonds in a huge tiara. In the corner of the room a string quartet is playing. I have no idea what the music is, but Greg has pulled Jen into an impromptu waltz. Waiters are offering appetizers and drinks, and I'm suddenly grateful that Colin made me eat breakfast. As he predicted, we haven't had anything else to eat today and I'm getting hungry. Through the doorway on the other side of the room I can make out the hotel staff putting the finishing touches on the room where we'll have dinner. Sam, Mac, and Luke are huddled in a corner giggling. They've all inherited our comedic genes and love trying to top each other with one silly joke or another. Having grown up with them, Luke has always been great friends with both of my kids and I'm sure they've all been a great support to each other through everything we've put them through. It's far too early to be considering things like this, but I think Luke and Mac would make a great match some day (some day very far in the future, like when she's 40). Sam, in typical little brother fashion, has started slowly and deliberately poking Mac in the arm as she tries to continue her conversation with Luke, who is looking at them both with a grin. I think he sometimes misses the camaraderie that siblings have. Without looking or breaking her train of thought, Mac calmly grabs Sam's hand and twists it behind his back until he begs for mercy. Some day he'll learn that his sister is not the sort of girl you want to mess with. She happens to look my way and our eyes meet. A split second later my beautiful daughter, who has recently entered that stage where she is desperately trying to seem sophisticated beyond her years, forgets her dignity entirely. "Daddy!" she yells, running toward me, pigtails flying behind her. Luke is right on her heels and Sam's a few steps further back, as his shoelace has become untied yet again. All three kids slalom through the crowd and finally reach Colin and me. The commotion has made everyone look our way, and they start clapping as we enter the room, once again making the rounds to greet our guests. Colin breaks free from my embrace and after another quick kiss, he goes off with his sister and brother. My brothers and sister have found me and along with all of our kids, including Luke, we form a small mass in the middle of the room. Mac and Sam are staying with Rob while Colin and I are on our honeymoon, and he wants to take them camping. "Do you think Luke might want to come along?" Rob asks. I can see a gleam in my new stepson's eyes and I grin at him. "I'm sure Colin will say it's OK. I'll work it out with him." The kids go off with their cousins and I start to circulate. As a waiter passes I grab some shrimp; I really am starving now. Even though I can see him from across the room, without Colin by my side I feel like a limb is missing. He turns to me and smiles, and as I wink back I notice that we're both fondling our rings. Brad and Shawna are talking to Wayne and Mandie, and I go over to them first. "Hey, there," Brad says. "Congratulations again!" "Thanks, man," I reply. "And thank you for singing. It was beautiful." "So where are you guys going on your honeymoon?" Wayne asks me. "Drew wouldn't tell me." "Yeah, it's top secret, at least from Colin," I reply. "I've been planning it for months. But I suppose I can tell you guys..." Something in Brad's eyes makes me turn around before I go any further. Sure enough, my sweet Canadian dinosaur is standing right behind me, waiting for me to spill my guts. He looks at me sheepishly. He is so adorable, I just want to eat him up. "OK, you win," he says. "I won't try to meddle any more." He slips his arm around my waist and brushes his lips against mine. I briefly tell him about my brother's plans to take the kids camping and he readily agrees. "He's on summer holiday for another couple of weeks; it'll be good for him to get away." A buzz starts up and I realize it's time to go in for dinner. The six of us cross the room, linking up with Greg and Jen, Drew, and the kids. Colin and I make our way to the head table at the front of the room. Sam, Luke, and Mac are on my left, followed by Jen and Greg, then Drew, and finally Colin, who ends up on my right. Burgundy cloths cover the tables, and there is a vase of orchids in the center of each one. The buffet table is right behind me and a small dance floor is in the middle of the room. Before long everyone is settled in their seats, and the waiters come around offering drinks. When they get to our table they pour wine for all of the adults, soda for the kids. Much like the ceremony, the reception is a pretty low-key affair. Once everyone has their drinks the maitre d taps Colin on the shoulder and points toward the buffet. It smells wonderful. There's a carving station with prime rib and turkey, several pasta dishes (good ones; not the generic crap you usually get), and a passable copy of Colin's chili-rubbed chicken. My plate's way too overloaded, but I haven't had anything to eat all day and I'm famished. Besides, I have to build up my energy for later tonight, when Colin and I can finally be alone. The boys are having fun joking around, although at one point I have to slap Sam on the back because his soda has gone up his nose from something Luke said. Mac is chatting with Jen; she's turning into a real young lady. I start playing footsie with Colin, and unlike this morning he readily joins in. Both of us start giggling. Drew and Greg look at each other and then at us with complete disgust. "No, no, it's OK now. We're married!" Colin exclaims dramatically, and we all start laughing. From somewhere across the room a fork is clinking against a glass. More forks quickly join in. Never ones to disappoint an audience, Colin and I bend toward each other for a kiss as the crowd roars. I can feel Sam cringe beside me. This really must be hard for him to handle, but then again at his age I thought the whole idea of kissing anybody was gross, so I suppose it's not that much worse that I'm kissing a man. The waiters start clearing the tables; it's almost time for dessert. Now they fill our glasses with champagne. Sam and Mac look at me plaintively and then at each other, trying to decide who's going to ask me. Before I can open my mouth Colin steps in. "Of course you can. You too, Luke." I shoot daggers at my husband but he shushes me with a wave of his hand. "It's a wedding. You have to have champagne for the toasts." "They're just kids, Col," I protest. "Oh, please, Ryan. You really expect me to believe that you never had a drink before you turned 18?" He's got me and we both know it. "Well, OK, but just one glass." As I expected, Mac and Luke sip at theirs; Sam downs his in one gulp. That boy of mine is so much like me it's scary. "Speaking of toasts," Drew begins and then stands up, clearing his throat as he picks up his glass. He raps lightly on the table and the din dies down as all eyes turn toward us. We don't have any microphones, but with his actor training he doesn't need one. Colin and I look at each other; I have no idea what my comedian buddy is about to say. "Welcome everyone. I'd like to say just a few words about the happy couple here. I've known Ryan and Colin for a long time now. They've had to go through a lot to get here, and I'm both proud to know them and truly blessed to call them friends. May you have a long, happy life together filled with joy, peace, and love." Wow. I never would have imagined Drew to be such a softy. Colin dabs at his eyes with his napkin and I'm getting a little choked up myself. Now Greg gets up. "I've known Colin and Ryan for even longer, and was there when their relationship first blossomed, although I didn't know it at the time. They are two of the most amazing people I have ever met--courageous, dignified, and the best friends a guy could ever have. I can't think of any couple more perfectly matched than you. I love you both and wish you a lifetime of happiness." We're all crying again. As usual I'm in a little bit better shape; Colin's a complete wreck. So I get up to address the crowd. "Thank you Greg, and you too, Drew, for those lovely words. It really means a lot to both of us to have had your support through the years. And that goes for all of you here tonight. We never would have made it without all of your love and encouragement, and we are truly grateful." That's all I can manage. Fortunately at that point the cake comes out, a huge carrot cake with cream cheese icing. Colin and I go over to the table and I pick up the knife, his hand over mine. We slice into the cake and feed each other a bit. None of that face smashing stuff--I never quite understood why that was supposed to be funny. We've had a very unobtrusive DJ throughout the whole reception, and as some people dig into their dessert others get up to dance. Greg and Jen are among the first to get up. Frankly, I'm a little surprised--he's a much better dancer than I would have thought, given his uptight demeanor. I watch them for a while and then turn around to see Colin nodding and waving his hand at Luke. The poor kid's beet red. What the hell does Colin want from him? A few seconds later Luke and Mac get up to dance. Colin sits back with a smug grin, his matchmaker instincts fulfilled for the evening. Drew moves over next to Sam and the four of us eat our cake and bullshit for a while until the others get back. I'm only slightly surprised when a song Colin and I both particularly like starts playing; he's obviously asked the DJ to include it. My husband turns to me and with his shy, sweet smile says, "May I have this dance?" And we go out on the dance floor. Let me say once more that I love you, Let me say one time, maybe two, That I love the way that you love me, And I wish I knew more of you. Let me say once more that I love you, Let me say one time, maybe two, That I love the way that you love me, And I wish I knew more of you. Tell me that time can't erase This look of love on your face. Let me say once more that I need you, One more time or just maybe two. Oh, my life will always be richer For the time I've spent here with you. Let me say once more that I love you, Let me say one time, maybe two, That I love the way that you love me, And I wish I knew more of you. Tell me that time won't erase The way that my heart sees your face. I call your name, You look my way, It's clear you trust each word I say. When life is long and problems come, You'll always be my only one. So now we're standing face to face, And with one look my eyes embrace me. Squeeze away each haunting fear, And say the words I long to hear. We're not really dancing, really just swaying in each other's arms to the music. But that's perfect as far as I'm concerned. As long as I have my arms around Colin I'm happy. As the song ends we look into each other's eyes. We're both thinking the same thing. Slowly we start making the rounds of tables, thanking everyone for coming, and once again accepting their best wishes. Finally we make it back to our table, and I'm shocked to see that it's almost midnight. The kids have already scattered. Bending close to my husband (I am never going to get tired of saying that), I give voice to our thoughts: "Y'know, hon, this marriage isn't official until we consummate it." The look on his face is enough to sustain me for a lifetime. "Well, what are we waiting for?" he asks, leering. And with that we slip out the door and head upstairs, where a big, 4-poster bed is waiting for us. FINIS