Title: Idiot Author: Corliamat Rating: No more than PG Pairing: Ryan/Colin with brief mention of past Ryan/Greg Summary: Colin frets, Greg listens, fluff happens. Disclaimer: Making no assumptions or money with this, 'tis pure fiction. Notes: In a round about the houses type way, you can blame Clayangel for this. "Tell me i'm an idiot." Greg looked up from his seat to face Colin, who was standing worriedly in the doorway of the Green room. "Okay, you're an idiot." "Thank you" the older man sighed, moving to sit on the couch. Greg turned his body so he was facing his friend, stretching one arm along the back of the red sofa. "So, why did I just call you an idiot?" he smiled. "I can't tell you, you'll think i'm an idiot." Greg rolled his eyes and brought his hand up to Colin's chin, turning the other man's head to face him. "Tell me." "Do you....do you think Ryan's, well, getting tired of me?" Greg nearly laughed out loud at the absurdity of that, but Colin looked so distressed and forlorn he bit his tongue. "Colin, what the hell? No! Of course he isn't. Where did you get such a silly notion?" "I don't know" Colin sighed, leaning his head back and slouching slightly into the sofa. "Jeff was flirting a lot with him at the last taping and Ryan was lapping it up. I can't compete against someone that young and cute. Hell I couldn't compete against Drew if he had a mind to..." "Woah there Colin. Number one, Jeff flirts with everybody; Number two, you need to quit putting yourself down or I may have to beat you about the head with the nearest blunt object; and number three, Ryan adores you." "See, most of me believes that" Colin returned, sitting up and fishing his cigarettes out of his pants pocket. "But I don't know. It's just..." Greg watched him for a moment as Colin leaned his elbows on his knees and began playing restlessly with the pack. "Do you want to go outside and have a smoke?" he questioned, stilling his friend's hands. "No...yes." "Come on" Greg chuckled, grabbing Colin's hand and leading him out. It was still relatively early in the morning, so the warmth outside contrasted gently with the coolness of the studio, hitting them with a gentle tap rather than the slap they'd recive later when they nipped out for their usual lunch-time cigarette. "So..." Greg began, taking off his suit jacket and hooking it over the wire fence surrounding a lone sapling in the parking lot. Colin lit two cigarettes, handing one to Greg. "My wife left me for someone younger and...well, more interesting I guess." "Colin.." "Plus he had a full head of hair." "Ryan is not going to leave you." Colin smiled slightly at the earnest expression on Greg's open face. He had typically switched himself into 'make Colin feel better' mode. "I'm probably being paranoid, I usually am around this time." "This time?" "Its our anniversary, third to be exact." "Damn!" Greg breathed, "Where the hell did the time go?" "Having fun as the saying goes" Colin chuckled. "Well, I don't know about that" Greg grinned. "Deb left me on our anniversary, so I get kind of nervous. Its the one time where people really concentrate on their relationship, think about it deeply you know?" Greg nodded, prompting Colin to continue. "I guess she thought 'what the hell am I doing with him?' and I worry that Ryan's going to do the same thing." "That's highly unlikely Col, he left his wife for you remember. That's more than he ever even contemplated with me." "I know" Colin replied sadly, reaching out to lightly cup Greg's chin in a silent apology for bringing up painful memories. "Uh uh, none of that" Greg scolded, removing Colin's hand and holding it between his own. "We're here for your angst, not mine; which, by the way, I don't have. I love you guys as 'you guys'. Okay?" "'kay." "So, what did he get you?" "He won't tell me" Colin laughed, "frustrating bastard." Greg smiled at that. "He always has been. What did you get him?" "A platinum neck chain, he's wearing it under his shirt." "Oooh nice! So that explains why you two were a little late this morning huh?" Greg winked. "Sadly no, our car actually did break down. Ryan was about ready to march over to the mechanic who 'fixed' it last week and shove the car's big end up the guy's big end." Greg laughed loudly and stubbed out his cigarette. "So, have you finished being an idiot?" "No" Colin whined, smiling. "Come on" Greg chuckled, flicking a stray piece of ash from his friend's red polo shirt, "Lets go inside before make-up sends out a search party." -------------------------------------- "Welcome to Whose Line is it Anyway" Drew enthused, beginning his usual preamble. "Where everything's made up and the points don't matter! That's right, the points are like a hair dryer to Colin Mochrie..." Colin rolled his eyes and chuckled along with everyone else. Not even a minute into the show today, that's gotta be some sort of record. "You okay?" Colin glanced over to the smiling face of his lover. "I'm fine" he replied honestly, before looking back to the stage. Ryan gave Greg a questioning look over Colin and Wayne's heads. "No" Greg mouthed back, grinning. Satisfied, Ryan leaned back into his seat, ready for the games to begin. ------------------------------------------------- The taping had gone particularly well so far, Greg managing to turn Drew into a trembling wreck of laughter more than once and all four seemed to be feeding off of each other nicely. Ryan looked at Colin, more than a little concerned at the apprehensive expression on his lover's face as they returned to their seats after a game of Moving People. "What's wrong?" he asked softly, when they were seated. Colin leaned over to whisper in Ryan's ear, covering his mic with his hand just in case. "The guy moving me...he was hard." "What?!" Ryan shouted, earning the attention of everyone in the room. "Sssh" Colin urged, covering his face with his hands. "Sorry" Ryan smiled to the room, waving the attention away. "Are you sure?" he whispered back. "It kept poking me in the butt, so yes, i'm pretty sure." Ryan bit his bottom lip hard, vainly attempting not to laugh. "Oh i'm glad you think its funny" Colin grinned, smacking his lover on the arm. Before Ryan could reply, Drew announced the next game. "Okay, the next game is called Number of Words, this is for all four contestants." The four of them rose and made their way to the front of the stage. "This is a difficult game, but one of my favourites" Drew continued. "Now, the scene is; Ryan, you're Captain John Smith and you're in a tent romancing Pocahontas played by....Colin!" The audience joined in Drew's laughter and Colin adopted his usual put-upon expression as Ryan sympathetically patted him on the shoulder. "Hey man, its the hair, you can't blame us for type-casting" Drew laughed. "Uh huh" Colin nodded in warning. "So, you two are busy getting acquainted when Chief Powhatan, played by Greg and his wife...Wayne burst in. The complication is, Ryan, you can only say two words, no more no less; Colin, you can only say three words, Wayne four words and Greg one word. So, when you're ready, take it away Pocahontas!" Everyone assumed their positions, Greg and Wayne waiting on the steps while Colin and Ryan turned to face one another. "Oh Pocahontas" Ryan began, grabbing Colin's hands. "Oh Captain John" Colin sighed dramatically. "I love.." "Me? Love me?" "Yes, you" Ryan smiled, thankful for Colin's help. "I love you" "You do?" "I do, yes." "Kiss me!" Ryan blurted suddenly, moving closer. "We can't...John." Colin replied, desperately hoping he'd remembered Ryan's character name correctly. "Pocahontas!" Greg yelled, storming onto the stage and breaking the two apart. "Oh crap!" Ryan gulped dramatically, earning uproarious laughter from the audience. "Oh, hey dad" Colin greeted nonchalantly. "Pocahontas, what are you...?" Wayne joined in, holding his 'daughter' away from Ryan. "We're in love!" Colin exclaimed proudly. "We are" Ryan agreed, moving to Colin's side and placing an arm around his waist. "Well.." Greg muttered, joining Wayne and sharing a searching look with his 'wife'. Wayne turned to the couple. "Then you must make..." "An.." Greg continued. "Honest woman of our..." "Daughter" Greg finished sternly. "Okay then" Ryan nodded, and turned to face Colin. "What is it?" "Will you?" "Will I what?" Colin asked in mock impatience. Ryan put his hand in his trouser pocket, pulling out and invisible ring and getting down on one knee, his palm out flat, thumb slightly curled over, and raised to Colin. "You're asking me?" "Well duh" Ryan tutted. "I don't know" Colin said dubiously. "Oh please say yes" Wayne gushed. "Please" Greg echoed. "Say yes" Ryan pleaded softly, his eyes smiling as he looked at Colin. "Okay then, yes" Colin beamed. "Yes? Really?" Ryan replied nervously. "I'll marry you" Colin nodded, his fake elation turning to genuine shock when Ryan slowly pulled back his thumb to reveal a small circle of white gold with a diamond set in the centre. "Wha..." Colin's mouth was moving but no audible words were able to make it through the shocked barrier in his brain. Ryan gently placed the band on Colin's ring finger and stood, causing the audience to go wild with enthusiasm, the roar of approval deafening but completely unnoticed by Colin who was staring at his lover, completely stunned. "You okay?" Ryan chuckled as Colin blinked at him. "I think I might actually cry" Greg grinned, glancing towards Drew who was joining the crowd in a standing ovation. "Oh jesus, you're serious?" Colin breathed. "Deadly serious" Ryan replied, cupping Colin's face with his large hands and planting a deep, sensual kiss on his lips, igniting the crowd even further. "So, is it still a yes?" Ryan questioned, pulling away slightly. "Duh!" Colin laughed, looking deeply into his lover's eyes. He could see it all in that beloved emerald gaze, the devotion, the desire, the need and, most of all, the complete love. "You" he admonished, turning briefly to Greg, "are a complete bastard." Greg smiled and shrugged his shoulders. "Yep." "And I really am an idiot" Colin laughed, bringing Ryan's head down to meet him in another scorching kiss.