A Group and Their Secrets By Patricia Thomas Rating: PG, possibly PG-13 Summary: We’re going way back, folks. Remember when Whose Line was in England? Someone’s having an affair. Someone else finds out about this affair. Someone is jealous. Two people get together. It’s a simple story. Greg entered the studio that afternoon, ready for another taping. He made his way past crew members and producers, his black shoes gently squeaking on the tile. As he reached his dressing room door, a voice came from behind him. “Hi there.” He turned around and smiled. “Hi Josie.” “Did you hear? I’m taping today.” This struck him as odd. Of course he knew, she had told him last night. The gang had gone out for drinks after the show, and it had come up that Greg, Josie, Colin, and Ryan would be the cast for the next day. “Yeah, I heard. Last night.” He wondered why she wasn’t being herself. Usually Josie remembered everything, down to what she had for breakfast three years ago. Usually Josie wasn’t so panicky. She looked like she had just seen a ghost. “Listen…can I, um, can I talk to you, you know, later?” She was wringing her hands together and her eyes darted around the building. He didn’t know what was going on, but it had to be important. “Josie, what is it?” “Colin! Hi!” She sounded relieved. He took his focus off Josie to look at the Canadian who had just approached. “Hey, Josie. Greg.” He smiled at the pair and moved on to his dressing room. “Good cast today.” Greg nodded, but inside, his stomach was churning. He didn’t want to wait until after the taping to find out what was wrong, but Josie had already sprinted off to makeup. Sighing, he opened his door and settled into an oversized chair. Suddenly, Ryan was there, telling him that he had five minutes, and that Dan was pissed at him for being late. Greg wanted to say something about Colin showing up even later than he had, but he didn’t have the energy to fight. He slipped into his clothes and rushed to the stage. Whatever was wrong with Josie, it would have to wait a couple of hours. By the time the last Hoedown had been sung and the audience had poured out of the studio, Josie’s weird mood seemed to have lifted. She was as chipper and lively as ever. Greg decided to forget about what had happened before, and quickly changed into his street clothes. He received a knock on his door not five minutes later. “Hey, Greg. Ready to go?” It was Ryan, looking quite comfortable in a gray sweater and jeans. He turned to leave, but Greg caught him. “Wait. Just a second.” Ryan’s eyes narrowed in concern, and Greg quickly added, “It’s about Josie.” The taller man quickly shut the door behind him. “What’s wrong with her?” “That’s just it,” Greg sighed, running a hand through his hair. “I don’t know. She was acting really weird earlier, and she seemed…distant. She forgot that I already knew she was going to be here today. She was really distracted…I don’t know. She told me that she wanted to talk to me after the taping, but…she seemed fine. I don’t know what’s going on. I was hoping maybe…she had talked to you or Col about it?” The words came spilling out, and with each one, he thought himself more and more ridiculous. If Josie didn’t want to talk about it, it couldn’t have been that serious…right? Ryan seemed to falter for a moment before replying, “No. I don’t know anything. I’m sure she was just nervous about the show. Now let’s go get some drinks, okay?” He walked out, leaving Greg even more confused. Josie had been doing improv for years, and never once had he seen her nervous. No, this was something more, he was sure of it, but what? Did Ryan know something he didn’t? Shaking his head, hoping to clear his thoughts, he grabbed his keys and left the studio. He hoped a few drinks would settle this uneasy feeling in his stomach. Greg stumbled into his apartment a few hours later, completely drunk. He fell on his couch, and went straight to sleep. He didn’t even notice the new message on his machine. He woke up that next morning, his head pounding. “Oh, Jesus Christ. This is just great.” Fumbling for his glasses, he somehow found his way into the kitchen to make French toast. “I just need to eat,” he said to no one in particular. Josie’s face floated to the surface of his mind. Once again, he wondered what she had been so worried about, and why Ryan had seemed so blank when Greg had brought it up. It couldn’t have been that serious…she didn’t seem to want to talk about it after the taping. He just hoped it was nothing serious, and that Ryan’s mood was simply the product of his busy mind. He shook his head and stumbled over to his answering machine, the blinking light going strong. He pushed the button and heard the mechanical voice say, “You have one new message.” “No shit, Sherlock.” He sat down at his kitchen table and began to eat. This is what he heard from the machine, in Ryan’s strained, drunken voice: “Greg…ah…it’s about…one in the morning…dammit, Greg, I can’t keep this from you. I just can’t keep…I can’t keep going on and…not letting you know…there’s someone else. I’m not…I’m just not…in love with Pat anymore. It’s hard…hard for me to say, but…I’m in love with—“ Ryan’s voice took on a high-pitched monotonous tone. Greg couldn’t believe it. “This machine has run out of tape.” “Dammit! Piece of shit!” He shook it violently, hoping to recover the last few words of that message. Ryan was in love with someone else? How could that be? Who was it? Who could tear him away from his wife like that? And why had Ryan called him like that? Could it be--? “Haha!” He forced a laugh. “No way Ryan’s in love with me. That’s just ridiculous.” But why would he call you like that? He sounded so panicked, so rushed…it must be you. He has to be in love with you. It would just make sense. “Okay, that’s enough crazy talk for now, Greg. Let’s just calmly take a shower, get dressed, and go to the studio…” He arrived about an hour before the taping was scheduled to start, hoping not to get yelled at by Dan again. That uneasy feeling he’d had before rose up again as he saw Josie and Ryan talking in front of his dressing room. She was glaring at him, and Greg thought to himself that if looks could kill, Ryan would be six feet under by now. Ryan was looking sorry about something, trying to plead with her…but Josie slapped him. She started crying and ran right past Greg, not noticing his presence. Greg stared at Ryan, who looked tired and defeated. He slipped into his room, and Greg quickly followed. As he peeked in the room, he saw Colin standing with Ryan. He hadn’t been noticed yet, so Greg hung back, eavesdropping. “She didn’t take it well?” Greg heard Colin’s soft voice say. He could barely see the balding man, but clung to every word of the conversation. Maybe he would get some closure as to why everyone had been acting so strange. “No. I tried, Col, I really did.” “I hope she gets over this. I really don’t want her to hate us for this.” “I know. Is it wrong that I feel so guilty?” “Ry…I love you. Nothing else matters. I couldn’t keep seeing Josie and loving you at the same time.” Greg gasped a little too loudly, and two pairs of eyes turned to him. Oh, shit. They spotted me. What kind of a pickle did you get yourself in now, Proops? Ryan pulled open the door and he was stuck. “Uh…I…” Greg’s improv skills were lacking for once. He couldn’t think of one single good excuse as to why he was at their door, listening in on their conversation, learning about Colin and Josie…about Colin and Ryan… “Get in here, quick,” Ryan said, very rushed. He pushed Greg into the room and shut the door behind him. “I was trying to tell you…last night, but—“ “Yeah, my machine ran out of tape.” There was a pregnant silence before Greg said, “Look, I won’t tell anybody…I didn’t mean to hear…” Colin smiled, much to Greg’s surprise. “We were going to tell you. You don’t have to apologize. I was just trying to figure out where I stood with Josie…and then Ryan told me he loved me.” He grinned at his taller companion. “I have a thing for bald Canadian men.” Even Greg had to laugh at that one. At least everyone had a sense of humor about the whole situation. “So,” Greg started, “How come you and Josie were together…and then how did you know about Ryan?” “Here we go with the long story,” Colin sat down in a soft chair, and the other two men did the same. “Okay. So, it was about two years ago. Josie, Stephen, Ryan, and I had just done a taping, when Josie told me she had to talk to me. She pulled me aside and said, ‘I know you’re married, but I’ve had all these feelings for you ever since I met you.’ That night, we got a little cozier than most performers. I’d always thought she was beautiful; I was just waiting for something from her end before I dove into it. “As for the Ryan thing…that took a little longer. This was just about six months ago, during a game of Helping Hands. I noticed that Ryan was a…” he laughed, and Ryan had a devilish grin on his face, “a little bit closer than usual. Naturally, I was confused, and slightly aroused, so I confronted him afterwards. I think the only words I got to say were, ‘What the hell was that?’ before he kissed me. The rest…is history. Ryan and I have been seeing each other since then, but…I just couldn’t bear to tell Josie. At least, not right away. I think the guilt just got to me, and…I told her yesterday. Ryan was just trying to ask Josie if she could at least be his friend, and eventually, our friend, and I guess…I guess it didn’t go over too well. “I just hope she’s okay. You know, I never meant for this to happen. I never meant for my best friend…my best friend who happens to be the same gender as me, to fall in love with me. I never meant to fall in love with him. I never once thought I’d be cheating on my wife like this, but…” Colin stopped to grab Ryan’s hand. “I’m in love. I’m more in love than I ever hoped for. I couldn’t ask for a better partner than my best friend.” They were leaning in for a kiss when the door opened. It was Josie. “Look,” she said, her face still red from crying, “I hate being broken up with. I hate being dumped for someone else.” Greg braced himself, waiting for the cursing and the shouts to start. “But I have to say… you guys are about one of the sweetest couples I’ve ever seen. If you guys are happy together…than I’ll let this go with whatever dignity I have left.” She managed a smile, glanced at Greg, and left the room. “That was…” Greg started. “Slightly odd.” He coughed. “Well, that was…one doozy of a story. I just can’t believe it. You know, Ry, when you called me like that, I thought…erm…I thought that you might have been in love with me.” Ryan laughed. “You? No offense Greg, you’re a great guy, you’ve got good looks…but nobody can compare to the guy I’ve already got.” He leaned in to kiss Colin. “Aww,” Greg said. “Two little gay peas in a pod.” Fin