SUMMARY ~ Quirky (completely unrelated)tales of eroticism among the Whose Line cast. RATING ~ ADULT. DISCLAIMER ~ Forgive me. I'm just a student. I don't get money from this. It is a complete work of fiction. I own no rights to the concept or the actors. Five Quirky (Erotic) Tales 5. Ryan Stiles examines himself in the mirror, running fingers lightly through the blond hair and fluffing it a bit. His green eyes sparkle in the high lighting of this posh lavatory, his lips glisten with traces of his wife's glossy lipstick (she managed to kiss him a few times tonight - without his warning) and he marvels in the natural tan, coloring him a toasty beige color. Even when not in L.A., he always looks the part of Californian. He's doing his best not to focus on the horrible argument he just had with his best friend, and he's focusing on trying to be the perfect husband and father - even though that role always leaves a bad taste in his mouth. He adores it, yeah, but he's always fantasizing about another life - another place. In the huge dining hall, he seats himself with his wife and takes a moment to glance around at all the other performers and socialites in the room. He hates benefit dinners and being surrounded by old farts with tens of millions of dollars patting themselves on the back for donating a fraction of that for a good cause. Personally, he'd rather send anonymous checks to the charity of his choice and be done with it. Something about tooting your own pathetic Waspy horn leaves him feeling arrogant and cheap. When his eyes go up on the stage, he meets the gaze of the host and his best friend - who not an hour ago, he'd argued with relentlessly about something mundane. Colin was absolutely not interested in doing The Drew Carey show full time - and he'd made that known. He was adamant, and Ryan knew the true reason. He hates L.A. Ryan feels like an idiot for making it an issue, but he only wants to offer his friend a full-time gig - some financial stability for the long run. If nothing else, Drew Carey can ensure him that. Currently, the Canadian is making some silly comments about the Prime Minister, and the laughter in the room is palpable. Colin has always been better at maintaining himself professionally then personally. People would never guess the inner turmoil he deals with on a regular basis, but being his best friend, Ryan knows all about it, has heard the ugly details of the anxiety storm that no amount of Valium can settle. Instead, he performs and performs and performs and deals very little with his issues because to do that would mean certain disaster. Ryan hates when they fight. He hates upsetting the other man because it's never worth it. Colin is generally on a linear plane, outwardly content and pleasant. Then Ryan comes along and shakes things up with his cynicism and harsh view of the world. He can't help himself. After living in the city for so long and treading water in the entertainment industry for almost as long, it hardens you. It hardened him. When there's a short break, he follows with his eyes as Colin exits the stage, and he stands, intending to follow him. Turning to his wife, he takes in her inquisitive stare. "Bathroom." he gives as way of explanation - not bothering to consider that he just came from there as he makes his way to the stage. Getting backstage and walking along a corridor, he pauses outside of Colin's dressing room, intending to knock when the door opens. The Canadian looks wonderful in his tuxedo and several ribbon pins representing causes. Ryan gasps and takes a step back. "Hey, Col..." Colin shakes his head, slowly, raising a hand. "Don't. I told you I was done with this." Ryan grasps his arm as he goes to brush past him. "I wasn't going to say anything about that. I just wanted to say I'm sorry." "Okay." Colin says, pulling his arm from the other man's grasp. "You said it." Ryan exhales, slowly. "Don't be like that, Colin. I was only being helpful." "I don't need your help. I have enough help." "Can we move on from this?" Colin is shaking his head. "I don't want to do this. I don't want to talk to you now." Ryan lets his head loll to the side. His heart is aching inside his chest. "Please. I swear I won't bring it up again. Just... don't shut me out like that. I'll go insane." Colin pauses, lowering his voice. "You don't understand. No one does." "Explain it to me, then." Ryan has lowered his voice as well, leaning in close. "You know I'll listen." For several seconds, Colin seems to have an internal struggle, then slumps back against the wall. "I love you. I'm... I love you, Ryan. I can't ignore that anymore." Ryan doesn't seem to register the truth in the words. "I love you too. Big deal." Colin is shaking his head. "No. It's not like that. It's..." "I know." Ryan's eyes lower to the floor, and they both go silent as a stage hand passes them down the corridor. "I know." Ryan repeats himself when they are alone again. Colin swallows and turns away from him, glancing at his watch. "I'm on again soon." "Are you still mad at me?" Colin allows himself a small chuckle. "No. I'm not still mad at you. But I don't want to do Drew Carey show. I just want to drop it." Ryan raises his hands in surrender. "Issue is closed, then. I swear." Colin reaches out and uses a thumb to rub lipstick off of Ryan's lower lip. "She's really a lucky woman." Ryan feels a rush of heat in his abdomen. "I want to kiss you." Colin shrugs, face flushing with heat. "Not like we haven't done it before." Ryan shakes his head, slowly. "Not like this..." Bringing his mouth close, he lets his lips brush Colin's gently, then eventually deepens the kiss, tingling when Colin moans softly into his mouth. Their tongues touch tentatively and Ryan wraps his arms around him, tight. Colin is against the door of his dressing room and letting his fingers drive through the blond hair and someplace in the back of his mind, he is vaguely aware of the stage hand passing them again - only this time getting an eyeful. When Ryan releases him, they both slump and turn away from each other, blushing and laughing softly at themselves. "It's scary." Ryan finally says, adjusting his package discretely. "What?" Colin straightens his tie. "How easily it happens. How easy it is to kiss you." Colin takes in the beautiful sight of his friend, long and lean, sexy and wonderful. "What are you doing when you leave here?" Ryan meets his gaze with an intensity that sends a tremor straight through the Canadian's body. "I'm going wherever you go." Colin chuckles, then. "Careful. I might hold you to that." Ryan nods, all traces of amusement gone from his handsome features. "Good. I'm counting on it."