TITLE: Clandestine PART: One shot AUTHOR: Makingamochrie PAIRING: Colin/Brad, Colin/Ryan (implied), Ryan/Greg (implied) RATING: NC-17 for sex DISCLAIMER: This is only FICTION. Don't own, don't sue. SUMMARY: The title pretty much says it all. Panting heavily, Colin collapsed onto Brad’s broad, sweat-soaked back, driving the larger man down onto the lumpy mattress. A moment later, he gathered enough energy to slip free and roll over onto his back, his arm covering his eyes as he tried to catch his breath. Brad turned with him, aligning their bodies, slipping an arm across Colin’s waist and toiling idly with the hair on his chest. “Does he know?” Removing his arm, Colin eyed his dark-haired lover. “Does who know?” Brad rolled his eyes. “Frosty the Snowman. Ryan. Does he know?” “Ryan’s with Greg.” “So? He watches you like a hawk. You know he does. So answer me. Does he know?” Colin sighed. “Do we have to talk about this now?” “Yes!” Brad exclaimed, pulling away slightly. “Believe it or not, I do value my own life, Colin. Getting my throat slit while walking back to my car after a taping isn’t really high on my list of things to do.” Rubbing at his temples, Colin chewed the inside of his lip. “Ryan and I have what you’d call an open relationship. Occasionally, he steps out with others. Usually Greg. While I…well, I usually don’t step out with anyone, but you’re a temptation too hard to resist.” “As flattering as that is, it doesn’t really answer my question.” “What do you want me to say, Brad? That Ryan has a jealous streak a mile long? That he can be an absolute bastard about that? That it’s hypocritical? Everybody knows it. But I didn’t exactly have to use force to drag you into my bed, either.” Brad frowned. “Yeah, well maybe I was tired of resisting the temptation, too.” “So,” Colin murmured, reaching out to lightly trace one of Brad’s thick sideburns with the pads of his fingers, “what do you want to do about it?” He loved Brad’s sideburns, thought they were incredibly sexy. Ryan had long sideburns, too, and he thought that they were also incredibly sexy, but there was just something about Brad’s…. “You know what that does to me, Col,” Brad grumbled. “Why do you think I’m doing it?” Brad just stared at him. “Ok,” Colin sighed, “fine.” Easing his tired frame from the bed, he moved toward the small bathroom. “Wait! Where are you going?” “To take a shower. It’ll give you the opportunity you seem to be looking for to make a graceful exit. I know how you hate long goodbyes.” “Fuck,” Brad grunted, rolling off the bed and onto his feet. “Don’t do this, Col,” he said, laying a hand on the shorter man’s cool, smooth back. “Yeah, I can be paranoid sometimes. I’m sorry. Please come back to bed. Please?” Unable to resist the plea in those deep, dark eyes, Colin sighed again and allowed himself to be led back to the hotel bed. Sitting on the edge, he looked up at Brad, determined to at least clear some of the air. “Ryan doesn’t ask, and I don’t tell. It’s better for both of us that way. I’m sure he has his suspicions, but as long as I don’t confirm them one way or another, he lets them go.” Colin lifted his hands. “He may be somewhat of a hypocrite, but he doesn’t wrap me in chains and lock me in the closet.” Brad frowned. “I’m not sure I like being your dirty little secret, Col.” “Oh, Brad, you’re not. But what good would telling him do? What I do with you is no one’s business but ours. I’m not in the habit of broadcasting things like this, you know. Not even to Ryan.” Nodding, Brad placed his hands flat against Colin’s shoulders and eased the shorter man down onto the bed on his back. He slipped aboard as well, once again aligning their bodies, front to side. Propping his head in one hand, he used the other to slip along the planes and valleys of Colin’s body, his palm trailing lightly over the scattering of dark hair on his chest, over each nipple in turn, and down the flat plane of his belly where the almost black hair there formed an interesting pattern. He looked it for a long moment, as he always did at times like these, like an old woman trying to divine a message from the tea leaves at the bottom of her cup. He figured if he could just read the pattern long enough, the message would come to him. It never did. So he continued on, moving lower with each pass until he was barely skimming over the magnificent, if mostly dormant at the moment, bit of flesh his lover called a cock. And magnificent it was; long and thick and utterly beautiful even in its currently quiescent state. Brad could never imagine getting enough of it. Didn’t want to imagine it, in fact, Ryan or no Ryan. Couldn’t possibly imagine what Ryan could see in Greg—who he himself adored—that he didn’t in this wonderful man. “I don’t think I’m going to be able to give it another go,” Colin whispered with genuine regret. “That last bit totally drained me.” “I just want to touch you, Col,” Brad replied, just as softly. “Can I do that?” “Can you? Well, you seem to be doing it already.” Brad snorted. “Alright, Mr. Grammarian. May I?” “If it pleases you, sure.” “Oh, believe me, it does.” He moved down over thighs that carried more muscle than one might expect. In fact, Colin’s entire body carried more muscle than anyone expected. It was only when you saw the man lift men larger and heavier than he was with seemingly no effort whatsoever that you realized that there must be something beneath the baggy pants and baggier shirts they made him wear. Colin, the bald. Colin, the back-room accountant. Colin the sensitive. Colin the wallflower. Colin the butt of every joke. Colin the timid, the sweet, the affable, the nice, who could reduce a room full of fellow comedians to quivering masses of jelly with one well placed, albeit outrageous, quip—and come out of it with all the innocence of a newborn pup. He was a puzzle within an enigma, wrapped up in an indecipherable bit of Zen riddle, and all of that drove Brad absolutely wild. He was the least predictable of all of them precisely because he seemed, to look at him, so utterly predictable. He was the apple to Eve, every wrapped present laid with care beneath a child’s Christmas tree, a stunning dancer to a married man. He was temptation itself, and drew Brad to him like a moth to a flame, all without even trying. It was doubly nice to know that Colin felt the same way about him. It made things seem better somehow. Even with the everpresent specter of Ryan looming over him like the Sword of Damocles. “You’re so beautiful, Col,” he said in a tone reserved for holy places and national landmarks. “So damned beautiful.” The slow blush warmed the cool, Canadian skin, and he followed it up with his hand, back along the belly, the chest, the neck, the jaw, the deeply dimpled face to the eyes that were glittering darkly at him. Though Colin might not be up for another bout of lovemaking, Brad, who was some eight years younger, felt himself hardening again. He knew Colin could feel it as well, given that he was pushed tight against his lover’s smooth hip. He took in a deep breath, a question at the very tip of his tongue, then let it out, unasked. He didn’t need to ask, knowing already what the answer would be. What the answer always was. Colin was a man who was completely uninhibited in bed, except for penetration. It was the one thing that, Brad guessed, he reserved for Ryan alone. Brad had heard enough from Greg to know that the same was true for Ryan. Ryan would fuck Greg in all sorts of ways, but would never allow the reverse. Brad never really understood that. Cheating, to him, was cheating, whether it was a mouth, a hand, or some other bodypart. Except that try as he might—and he really didn’t try all that hard—he just couldn’t picture Ryan bottoming to anyone, not even Colin. Which was a pity, really. Brad loved when Colin fucked him. Adored it. Craved it. And Colin was extremely talented with his mouth and would go down on him whenever he desired, which, as a guy, was pretty damned often. And his hands were every bit as talented as his mouth, taking Brad places he’d never thought he’d go. But temptation was, after all, temptation, and the temptation to know what it would feel like sheathed within the tight, living heat of the man partially beneath him was almost overwhelming. Especially on nights like this, when he could see himself easily falling in love with the quiet bald guy from Canada. Colin, as always, seemed to understand him, and proved his unpredictability once again. “Yes,” he whispered. “Huh?” By way of answer, Colin spread his legs and bent them at the knees so that his feet were resting flat on the sheets. “The lube’s on the nightstand where I left it.” “But—“ “Do it, Brad. I want this as much as you do.” “But R—“ “Don’t. I’ve been waiting too long for this. I want you inside me. Now.” The import of those words, delivered almost a full octave deeper than his normally light tenor, brought Brad’s erection to full, glorious life. A tall man himself—only two inches shorter than Ryan—his cock was also a thing of beauty and Colin had speculated, on more than one occasion, what it would feel like to have it buried deep inside him. He didn’t want to wait another minute to find out. “The lube, Brad. Please.” Broken free from his temporary paralysis, Brad scrambled over to grab the tube, uncap it, and drizzle the cool, slippery liquid over his fingers and hand. “You’ll tell me if I hurt you, right?” “You’ll be the first to know,” Colin assured him. “Ok, then.” Suddenly, he was nervous, unaccountably so. This was something he had wanted for so damn long, and suddenly, without warning, it was here. He didn’t want to fuck up. He wanted it to be perfect. Forcibly stopping his hands from trembling, he coated his fingers generously then set them, poised at the entrance to Colin’s body. Then he leaned over and took his lover’s mouth in a deep, wet kiss as his fingers gradually eased themselves inside. Oh, it was glorious. Colin was every bit as hot and as tight as Brad had imagined he would be. He could feel his own cock leaking already, and he tried to ignore it as he slowly began to thrust inside, mirroring his movements with his tongue as he plundered Colin’s mouth in a way that was passionate, gentle, and uniquely Brad. Colin moaned under Brad’s gentle attentions. His hips instinctively thrust upwards, burying his lover’s fingers up to the hilt inside him. It felt wonderful, as wonderful as he’d dreamed. And, he knew, it would only get better from here. After some span of moments, he deliberately pulled away, turning his head to one side while still maintaining eye contact. “Now, Brad. Inside. Now.” His commands were rough-voiced and guttural, and only served to turn Brad on that much more. Which the young man hadn’t even believed possible until that very moment in time. He wondered if he’d be able to last, and quickly decided that even if he didn’t, it would still go down as one of the most amazing experiences of his life. Pulling completely away, he moved to situate himself between Colin’s widely splayed thighs. He drew his lube coated fingers over his own erection, and Colin moaned, glittering eyes watching every movement of hand over flesh. “Oh,” Brad observed, smirking slightly. “A voyeur, are you?” Colin shrugged, completely unembarrassed. “I like to watch, yes. But….” He moved himself down so that Brad’s cockhead was poised at his entrance, “…not now. I want this too much, Brad. Please.” As one hand positioned his cock, Brad used the other to tease along the trail he’d just recently blazed, circling nipples that tightened and grew hard beneath his fingertips. And then he pushed inside. “Oh, Colin,” he moaned as his lubricated flesh entered easily. Soon he was buried completely inside the exquisite heat surrounding him. Lifting his legs, Colin hooked them over Brad’s shoulders, crossing his ankles around the taller man’s neck. Brad eased his hands beneath, to cup the cheeks of Colin’s firm ass, kneading him, spreading him, displaying him for his pleasure. “Oh, Col….” “You feel wonderful inside me, Brad,” Colin husked. “Wonderful. Hot and alive and perfect.” “I…don’t think I can stay still any longer.” “Then don’t. Show me what you have, Brad. I want all of it.” “Hard or soft?” “Improvise.” Brad couldn’t help but smile, thought that smile soon turned into a groan of overwhelming pleasure when Colin used his new position to clamp down hard on the cock still buried deep within. “Fuck me,” Colin whispered. And so he did, drawing himself out almost all the way, only to plunge back in again, over and over, each time a little faster, a little more forceful than the last. He lifted Colin’s hips higher to change the angle of penetration, then lowered them to change it again, being as unpredictable as his unpredictable lover. Colin’s soft moans spurred him on, and soon his own movements were almost a blur as instinct drove him to plunge in and draw out at speeds he’d heretofore thought himself incapable. Colin, despite his protestations, was beginning to harden himself, but when Brad tried to reach for him, he found his hands gently batted away. “I just want to feel you,” Colin breathed, before using the strength in his own legs to pull his body up still higher against Brad, changing his thrusting angle yet again. “Colin,” he groaned. “Colin, I’m … Colin, I’m….oh fuck!” He could feel himself releasing as his hips still thrust and pumped. With all his willpower, he pulled out as far as he could, and then plunged back in with force enough to send Colin against the headboard. There he froze, wide-eyed and staring, emptying himself deep within the body of his lover. God, it was glorious. More than he had ever hoped to dream. Finally, completely spent, he crashed forward onto the body he knew was strong enough to bear his weight, sweating like a lathered horse and panting to beat the band. “So good, Col,” he moaned through his harsh breaths. “So damn good.” Colin’s arms came up and around him, tracing nonsense patterns over his sweat-soaked skin, enjoying the feel of the larger man’s penis as it gradually softened and finally slipped free. His ankles uncrossed and slid slowly down onto the bed, feet arching slightly, toes splaying, ankle joints cracking. Colin peppered Brad’s flushed face with kisses, on his chin, his cheeks, his forehead, gently over each now-closed eye, his nose, and finally against his lips, not pushing, just enjoying the feel of the trembling flesh against his own, tasting the effort Brad had put into their lovemaking in the sweat above his lips. If, in moments like these, Ryan held to him like an anchor tethering himself to the Earth, Brad held him like a precious object, worthy of his absolute and undying devotion. It was a heady thing, and if he had been anyone other than who he was, his ego would have swelled his head such that passage through doorways would be rendered absolutely impossible. Instead, he treasured it as the gift it was meant to be. “I love you, Colin,” Brad murmured against his lips. Tightening his embrace, Colin sighed softly and replied in the only way he could. “Thank you.” Words of love never came easily for him. He could count on both hands the number of times he’d said it even to Ryan, whom he loved as deeply and as passionately as he could ever imagine loving anyone or anything. He could count on one hand the number of times he’d ever said it to anyone else. Brad understood perfectly and gave his clandestine lover a warm and loving kiss before turning his head and brushing his cheek along Colin’s, luxuriating in the simple feeling of soft skin against his own. Post-coital lethargy lay heavy on his shoulders, but he fought against it with every ounce of his rapidly waning strength, not wanting to miss even one second of his time with Colin. The other reason was, of course, the white elephant standing in the middle of the room. The one he tried his best to ignore. The one that only grew larger as each moment passed. Finally, with a soft grunt, he slid away from the body beneath him, knowing the time had come for him to return to his sterile, lonely room for the night. He hated it, and hated himself for hating it. The thing he couldn’t hate was what they’d shared this night. If he’d given a gift, he’d been given one in return; one infinitely more precious than he had ever received before. He would keep it locked tight within himself, pulling it out on those long, lonely nights when Ryan was the one sharing Colin’s bed, hearing the words that Colin couldn’t tell Brad. He didn’t know what it said about him—as either a person or as a man—to treasure so much these few stolen moments, but whatever it said, he wouldn’t give them up for the world. To know the love and affection of one so dear to him, to share his body and his passion for even a brief period of time was like a drug to which he’d all too easily become addicted. Whatever that made him in the eyes of others mattered little. For these few brief moments of happiness and passion and peace, he would trade all the riches in the world. Sleepy chocolate eyes blinked up at him, and the smile he was given made his heart sing with joy. Grasping Colin’s hand tenderly in his own, he brought it up to his heart and laid it there for a moment before bringing it to his mouth and brushing his lips against the cool knuckles. “Remember,” he whispered. And then he was gone. ******* Barely an hour later, Ryan entered the room, half-clad, bleary-eyed, and covered in marks and scratches that looked like he’d been in a fight with a tiger and lost. The first thing he noticed was the distinct scent of sex in the air. His lips curled in a silent snarl, completely ignoring the similar scent that clung to him like a shroud. The second thing he noticed as he stepped toward the bed was that Colin was naked atop the covers, and completely unmarked. There wasn’t even a hint of redness on the area just below his jaw that Ryan knew from intimate experience drove him slowly insane with need. The third thing he noticed was the small, sweet smile on his sleeping lover’s lips. A smile, he knew, that wasn’t for him. Jealousy, green and putrescent, poured through him, tightening the grip he had on his shoes and shirt. He wanted nothing more than to shake Colin awake, demand to know who put that smile on his lips, and then wipe it off of them, proving to both of them that he, Ryan, was the one who knew Colin and his body better than anyone else in the world. But he didn’t. Instead, he dropped his clothes in a heap on the floor and detoured to the shower, washing the scent and the come from his body in hard, savage strokes. His anger bled away with the evidence of his infidelity, both swirling down the drain. His body dry and his hair still damp, he padded in bare feet across the worn carpet and slid onto the bed. Though still deeply asleep, Colin sensed his presence and curled into him, head tucked down against his shoulder, the knuckles of his loosely clenched hands brushing against Ryan’s chest. The smile was still there, and Ryan stared down at it, deeply disquieted. His sleep was a very long time in coming. FIN