Title: Can't do this Author: Cae Rating: PG-13 Summary: This kinda came from watching a very odd film and thinking about Sue's drabble challenge. Warning: Dark, mentions of non-con. Please don't read if that freaks you out. Lots of swearing Disclaimer: Only the alluded to OMC is mine. I don't want to do this anymore. I feel like I'm about to fall apart. We've been playing some warm-up games for about ten minutes now, but it feel like I've been here for hours. My nerves are on edge, I can't concentrate. Ryan keeps frowning at me; I know he's wondering what the hell is wrong with me. "I'm just tired" seems to have appeased everyone else, but he knows me better. Right now I wish he didn't. "Hey Ryan" Drew pipes up from behind his desk. Ryan turns from the sketch he's doing with Wayne which, thankfully, I'm sitting out on. "I was talking to Richie Gordon's dad this morning. Apparently Rich is up on a rape charge." My stomach drops further with every word. Oh God Drew, shut the Hell up. Please! "You're kidding me!" Ryan breathes, disbelief dripping from his voice. My throat has gone so dry I don't think I could make a noise if I wanted to. "Nope. Apparently he gave some guy a ride home after Saturday night's party and the dude reckons Rich beat him up and forced himself on him while they were being driven home." I can't even look at them. Richard has been friends with Ryan for longer than even I have and Drew's known him for more years than I remember. I can almost predict, word for word, what Ryan's going to say. "Asshole! There's no way Rich would do that! It’s probably some ass-wipe after a quick out of court settlement payout. That's the trouble with having money, there's always some joker ready to con it out of you." I want to cry, but I'm frozen. Every part of me is frozen. I want to say something in defence of the nameless soul they're ripping to shreds. 'Maybe you don't know him as well as you thought you did. Maybe he's not such a Mr. Nice Guy. Maybe he's just a violent, nasty piece of shit that won't take no for an answer!' "I tell ya" Drew continues, in the same derisive tone that's causing my body to tremble, "give me five minutes alone in a room with that guy and I’ll teach him the consequences of blackening a decent guy's name just to make a quick buck." "Hey!" Wayne cuts in, smiling. "Sorry" Drew chuckles, lightening the tone of the room. That warmth hasn't touched me. I want to run; get the hell out of here. I can't listen to this. My whole body's trembling now, only slightly, but I know it'll get worse. It always gets worse if I let myself think about it. I thought I was safe here, surrounded by friends; people I trust, I know. Oh God! I was even thinking about telling them! I need to get out of here. "I hear ya there Drew" Ryan sighs, shaking his head. His body looks too thin in the oversized shirt he's wearing. "Do they need character witnesses? 'Cause I'll happily give them a statement, I've known Rich since I was a kid for Christ's sake. I don't care if it’s the fucking Pope who's accusing him, they're lying." No. No no no Ryan don't say that. Who do I have left to turn to if you won't even believe...? I really really have to get out of here. My legs won't move. I'm trapped, again; but this time of my own making. I couldn't get away, couldn't get out of the car...Now I can't move from this chair. I feel more scared listening to them unknowingly rip me apart than I did that night. Greg's looking at me. He's remained silent in his seat all this time; he doesn't know Richard. "Colin?" His voice sounds alarmed. I can't answer him, I can't even breathe. Oh Jesus, I need to get out of here! I can't breathe, I need to move! "Colin?" It’s Ryan this time. My chest feels like someone's thrown a bowling ball at it. Oh God! I need to get out of here. Ryan's kneeling in front of me now, his concerned face filling my wavering vision, large warm hands cradling my face. "Fuck Col...What’s wrong?" Our eyes lock onto each other and I can't hide anything anymore. He knows. As I look at him his expression, his gaze, changes from worried, to shocked and settles on anger. Spitting fire anger. He looks hard into my eyes for a few seconds more, before making a decision. "I'm gonna fucking kill him" he says simply, melting the ice that's gripping my body as he folds himself around me and cradles me in his arms; his heartbeat a steady, comforting mantra against my cheek. His voice rumbles through me as he quietly, but venomously informs Drew that he's going "rip that bastard from limb to limb". It makes me think that maybe, maybe I can do this.