A Blue Movie By Patricia Thomas Rating: PG (for cursing) Author’s Note: Complete boredom can lead to my writing stuff… Summary: The revelation of something might strain a relationship that was meant to stay secret. “Guys, I’m bored. What should we do?” Drew Carey stood up from his kitchen table and stretched. “We already played Trivial Pursuit…twice. And Colin won both times. Dude, that wasn’t even close to being fair,” Greg Proops jested. He poked Colin Mochrie in the side and laughed as a high-pitched squeak emitted from the older man. “Stop that!” Colin was trying to sound angry, but was unsuccessful. Everyone else at the table started to laugh. “I think you’re too quiet to pull off anger, Col.” This time, the man who spoke was Wayne Brady. He kept smiling as he took a sip of his soda. “I have an idea,” Brad Sherwood piped up. His eyes sparkled with mischief as a grin spread across his face. “What now, Sherwood?” Drew questioned, sitting back down in his chair. “Let’s go rent a porno.” “What? Are you crazy?” Wayne looked at Brad as if he had suddenly grown another head. “Come on, church boy. This’ll be fun! Saving Ryan’s Privates…” “Well Hung At Noon,” Drew added. “My Best Friend’s Orgy,” Greg said. “Well I for one wish to go rent a porno so we can all laugh at how horrible the actors are,” Brad said with that evil grin still planted on his face. “Let’s go, then.” Drew and everyone else started to leave the table. Greg, however, stayed seated. “I have to make a call. You guys go ahead.” The group left and Greg sighed. He hated lying to all of them, keeping this relationship a secret…but it was for his own good. He couldn’t bear to think what they would all think if they found out. “Hi,” the man on the other end of the line said. “Hey. How have you been?” Greg smiled to hear the man’s voice. He hadn’t talked to him in such a long time. “Fine. Having fun with the group?” “They went to rent a porno.” “Serious?” “Dead serious.” “Wow. Whose idea was it?” “Brad’s.” “Ah. It had to be him or Drew.” “Absolutely.” “I miss you.” “I miss you, too.” “Can I see you soon? Tomorrow?” “I think so. Dinner?” “Your place?” “Absolutely. Um, I love you.” “Greg…” “What?” “I love you, too.” “Bye.” “Bye.” Just as he hung up the phone, he heard, “Proops! You won’t believe this!” “What?” Drew, Wayne, and Brad came back in the house looking like they had just hit the jackpot in the lottery. Colin, however, looked stunned and just sat on the couch next to Greg. “You won’t believe it,” Colin whispered to him. “Apparently, now what’s going on?” “Take a look at this.” Brad handed him a videocassette and Greg peered at the cover. The movie was called “Blue”, and the cover showed a man and a woman in a tight embrace. The man looked eerily familiar. “Dude, do you realize who that is?” Wayne turned the movie around in his hands, and now Greg was looking at the back. “Starring…Ryan Stiles? What?” Greg couldn’t believe his eyes. He looked at the front cover again and saw the curly golden hair, the passionate green eyes, the big nose…it was him. It was Ryan at age nineteen. “Holy shit.” “Holy shit is right, Greg. We have to watch it.” Brad started to put the tape in the VCR. Greg couldn’t think. He couldn’t move. Ryan, in a porno? Why hadn’t he told anyone? Why hadn’t he told Greg? He thought he knew everything about his lover, and then this? Greg couldn’t handle it. He grabbed his coat and left before anyone could say a word to him. He sped the whole way to Ryan’s apartment. The cover of that movie stood out in his mind as he pulled into the parking lot. He could barely control himself as he walked furiously up to the door. “Greg? I thought we weren’t supposed to have our date till tomorrow.” He stormed past the tall man and wheeled around to face him. “Look. I’m okay with you kissing Colin on television. I’m okay with you kissing your wife in front of me. But I am NOT okay with you being in a porno that you didn’t tell me about. What the hell were you thinking? Having sex with somebody you didn’t even know for a few hundred bucks? I can almost forgive the fact that you were young and stupid when you did it, but not telling me? I thought we were…special. I thought I knew you. But then you go and don’t even tell me about something as big as you being in some porno! How can I ever trust you again?” Ryan stood there. He stared at Greg with the most innocent eyes he’d ever seen. Finally, he said, “Are you finished?” Greg sighed and said, “Yes.” “I love you. You know I do. I was actually planning on telling you tomorrow night. I’ve been thinking about that stupid movie for the past few weeks, and I knew you wouldn’t want to be kept in the dark about it, so…I’m sorry you had to find out this way. Greg,” he continued, wrapping the shorter man in his arms, “You know that I love you. You know how much I care about you. You also know that I would never keep something like this a secret forever.” He kissed Greg gently on the lips. “Ryan, I’m sorry…” “No, it’s okay. I’m sorry. Just let it go.” The two men started to kiss again. Greg parted his lips and let Ryan’s tongue enter his mouth. Their tongues danced together and their lips played on one another. Greg brought his hand up and ran it through Ryan’s thick hair. Ryan moaned and pressed their bodies closer together. When they parted, they noticed the door was still open. They also noticed that four people stood in the doorway, gaping at them. “Drew…Brad…Wayne…Colin…” “Ryan? What…” “Well, I guess you had to find out sometime.” Greg shrank back, waiting for the yelling and the fighting to ensue. Instead, Brad broke into a big grin. “Well it’s about time. I was wondering when the two of you were going to tell us.” “You mean…you knew?” Greg was shocked. He thought they had done so well keeping this all secret… “Yeah. Greg, you really need to clear your answering machine more often,” Brad said, then started to imitate Ryan in a high falsetto voice, “Oh, Greg, I need you so much. Please come over tonight. I love you and I love you and I love you!” Everyone started to laugh, even Greg. He guessed that the gang knowing about Ryan and him wasn’t such a big deal after all. He smiled and pulled Ryan into a big kiss.