Title: Acceptance Pairing: Ryan/OF; Colin/Brad; Ryan/Colin; Brad/OF......eh, you get the point! Rating: NC-17 Summary: My first attempt at writing in the first person. This is somewhat AU and may even spawn further pieces. Disclaimer: I don't own anyone except Liz and my own imagination! Special thanks to makingamochrie for the quick beta and the glowing feedback! When you are dating Ryan Stiles, there are a few things you just have to accept. I had fallen in love with the man several years ago, but I wasn’t naïve enough to forget that we both had lives before we met, lives that brought with them a fair amount of baggage. My baggage was a long line of failed relationships with prominent and not-so-prominent men, some of which were still important figures in my life. But that baggage came nowhere near what Ryan brought. Ryan carried a secret that had spanned over 20 years. He was in love with his best friend and, although they’d never given into temptation and allowed themselves to truly be together, they had spent the last two decades indulging in infrequent, torrid affairs, sometimes traveling thousands of miles just to spend a night together. Ryan and Colin were the modern day Romeo and Juliet. I had figured it out early on, shortly after he’d moved out east to be with me. He would take mysterious trips out west, usually with the excuse that he was filming something, but never really wanting to talk about what it was. I used those weeks, when I was alone, to consider my options and I eventually decided that it was easier to just talk to him about it. He didn’t try to deny it when I asked him about Colin, my logical deduction after years of watching them on TV together. He simply chose to explain, telling me their whole history. As he finished, he took my hand and looked directly into my eyes, asking only that I could accept that part of him. I’d already known that was coming and had long before decided that I could. That was the night that I learned that even if Ryan told you that he loved you, you never really held his heart. That, it seemed, was already taken. The relationship worked well, and several times we’d even invited Colin into our bed. Ryan seemed happy, Colin seemed happy, I was happy. ----- We’d waited for this night for months, Ryan’s first time to see Colin perform, with Brad Sherwood, from the audience. It’d been my idea, actually, to go see their show after months of Colin begging Ryan to attend. He’d pestered both Ryan and I pretty much continuously after they’d been booked to play Boston. I’d only seen live improv once, the night I first met Ryan, so I really wanted to go as well. We sat near the front, close enough to the stage to enjoy the subtle glances and movements, but they were intermingled enough with the crowd that no one even noticed Ryan. The show was fabulous, everything I’d ever imagined it would be, and I even found Ryan laughing hard enough that he was wiping at his eyes. The show ended with a game of mousetraps playing the improv game ‘Alphabet’. I’d heard of the game, but I’d never seen it before and, apparently, neither had Ryan, as I felt him tense in his seat every time Colin stepped near to a mousetrap. He was probably the only one in the crowd not laughing as Brad hurled a trap at Colin, scoring a direct hit on his crotch that left him doubled over in pain, mumbling incoherent curses through clenched teeth. The game ended with Colin pulling his goggles off and hurling trap after trap at Brad, managing to hit him in the crotch as well, and Ryan relaxed visibly as both men bowed to the crowd, and even smiled at the standing ovation they received. Ryan and I waited by the stage door, watching from a distance while Colin and Brad met the line of fans who’d been lucky enough to find the exit. They smiled, signed autographs, and posed for pictures, ever the gracious stars. I looked over to Ryan to find him watching with a sort of nostalgic sadness in his eyes. I knew that he missed it, that teaching university improv wasn’t enough, but I don’t think even he knew how much he missed it until tonight. As the last of the fans wandered away, Ryan stepped out of the shadows, and as if there was some unseen force between them, Colin looked up and spotted us immediately. They each took a few steps towards the other before breaking into a slow jog ending in a tight embrace. Brad watched from the landing outside the door, his eyes unreadable as he snubbed out his cigarette. It had been a few months time since they’d last seen each other, but this was, by far, the most emotional greeting I’d ever witnessed between the two men. I could hear the soft murmur of words spoken too low to be heard as I approached the couple. Brad approached from the other side, his hands balled in his pockets, his eyes carefully trained on his shoes. Ryan nestled against Colin’s chest and it was apparent that it was he, not Colin, who needed protection and reassurance. As I stepped up the two men finally pulled apart and Colin pulled me into a friendly hug, ending in a chaste kiss on the cheek. Ryan stepped to Brad and shook his hand, a silent nod between the two calling a truce to any untoward feelings, at least for the weekend. Colin pulled away from me and took me by the arm, turning me to face Brad. “Liz, this is Brad. Brad – Liz.” Colin introduced. Brad reached forward, extending his hand as Ryan returned to my side, his long arm snaking around my waist in a gesture that was both protective and possessive. It wasn’t a secret that Colin and Brad were lovers, but Ryan had never been confronted with it before. It’s much easier to deal with something like that when it’s out of sight, out of mind. I slipped my arm around Ryan’s waist, both as a comfort and a gentle reminder to behave. We’d discussed this very night thoroughly, several times, and Ryan had assured me that he could handle it, and, in fact, that he looked forward to it. It was then that he’d confessed that he had slept with Brad before and then that I began to get a very clear picture of just how much of an orgy the Whose Line set must have been. ----- I took special care to drive slowly as they followed us in their rented car. The roads of the suburb were windy and dangerous and it wouldn’t be the first time that I lost someone while they were following me. We pulled into our subdivision and parked in the driveway, leaving plenty of room for Colin and Brad’s car that pulled up next to us. “The neighborhood’s safe,” I assured them as they started to try to pull all of their bags from the car. “You can leave that stuff in there for the night.” They followed us into the house where Ryan took everyone’s coats and hung them in the closet and I produced a beer for everyone before conducting the grand tour for Brad. Pausing at the guest room door I told them to feel free to put anything they wanted in there. Although no one had actually said anything, it was pretty much assumed that both men would be sharing our bed. Settling down in the living room, we all enjoyed our beers around the warmth of the fire. The men began into stories of ‘Do you remember when?’ and ‘What happened to?’, happily entertaining themselves as I was content to lounge back and just watch them. I sat between Ryan’s legs, leaning back against his chest while Colin sat at the opposite end of the couch and Brad sat on the floor at Colin’s feet, occasionally leaning into his legs. I loved nights like this, no hurry, no pretense, just happiness. I loved lying back against Ryan as he talked and laughed, the deep rumble in his chest resonating through my back as he spoke. In the wee hours of the morning, almost a case worth of empty beer bottles spread across the coffee table, I finally announced that I was going to bed. Brad was already half asleep, his head resting in Colin’s lap, his hand mindlessly petting my dog, who had identified Brad as the sucker for the night. Colin and Ryan were still lost in conversation and I was sure that more was being said than what was actually spoken, but I was secure enough to leave it be. Heading up the stairs, I could hear the men rising and stretching and Colin, always the gentleman, directing the others to clean up the beer bottles. The dogs chased up the stairs behind me, sure that they were missing out on a chance to eat, but sulked off to the office after I continued down the hall past the room with their bowls. Finally I heard the trudging sounds of six tired feet making their way up the stairs. The dogs reappeared as their last chance of a meal walked by, absently petting them on the head as they passed. As the door shut behind Colin, the last to step into the room, I realized that none of us, maybe save Ryan, were sure how this was going to work. I was utterly charmed by Brad, and, seeing as how he was the one man here who I hadn’t slept with, that was the only thing I was sure of, the rest was up to the guys. Ryan stepped forward, kissing Colin, at first softly, but soon it grew until the kiss was deep and passionate and they appeared to have forgotten about Brad and I. Still held by Ryan’s lips, Colin reached out and pulled me close, his soft hand cupping my breast, massaging the nipple to a point. Brad remained a step away, watching, taken by the action as a soft flush crept across his cheeks. I moaned softly as Colin continued his ministrations and pulled Brad close, capturing his lips with my own. He readily accepted my tongue as it begged entrance, his needy lips mashing with my own. As we continued, Brad began to grind against me, his erection straining against the thin material of his boxers. Ryan had Colin’s boxers pooled around his ankles and was lightly gripping his erection as Colin thrust hard into his hand. Colin moved his hand from my breast to Brad’s waiting cock, freeing it from the constraints of his boxers before tracing his fingers up and down its length. I stepped back, taking a moment to admire Brad’s shaft, the tip weeping with anticipation. He wasn’t as big as Ryan or even Colin, but he was shaped beautifully, crafted into a graceful arc. Colin pulled away from Ryan and knelt before him, taking his thick shaft into his mouth while never breaking contact with Brad’s cock. Leaning over Colin, Ryan’s mouth sought out mine, our teeth mashing together, the coppery taste of blood on our tongues. Brad’s hand had crept down the front of my panties and his finger danced across my clit, alternating between light taps and tantalizing circles as my world began to blur. Ryan thrust into Colin’s waiting mouth, desperately seeking release. He growled low in his throat, a noise I felt rather than heard. Interestingly, it was Colin who moved the group towards the bed, pushing Brad down on top of me as I fell backwards. Colin slipped in behind Brad and Ryan followed behind Colin, our bodies barely fitting across the king sized bed. With a silent nod of approval, Brad threw a leg over my hip and entered me. He may not have been the largest man, but the feeling was exquisite as he pushed in to the hilt. As Brad began to thrust tentatively, Colin eased lubricant around Brad’s entrance, smoothing the tight ring of muscle before he inserted first one finger then another. Brad screamed out as Colin thrust his fingers in deep, making quick work of preparing the other man. Colin’s breath came in tight gasps and it was then that I realized that Ryan was doing the exact same thing to him. Brad bit down on my shoulder, stifling a scream as Colin pushed into him, his muscles quickly accommodating the huge shaft of the other man. His eyes rolled back and fluttered shut as he alternated between thrusting into me and pushing back into Colin. The sensation must have been mind blowing. “Oh Ryan.” Colin moaned, his voice a full octave deeper than usual, as Ryan pushed into his waiting body. Ryan grunted with exertion as his body slammed into Colin’s, his hands gripping his hips tightly as he pulled him back and then pushed him forward into Brad. Our bodies formed an odd dysrhythmic chorus with skin slapping and sweat mixing, punctuated by ragged breathing and the occasional moan. With time we found a rhythm, four bodies moving in unison, fingers gripping, teeth gnashing, toes curling. Brad was an attentive lover, his hands kneading my breasts even as he fought to maintain control of his own body. I could feel the blood pooling at my groin creating a delicious tightness that took my breath away and I knew I was close. Brad screamed out as Colin thrust, apparently hitting his target, and I could feel his cock pulsating within me, spilling his release deep inside. It was all the impetus that I needed, my body falling rapidly over the precipice and finding sweet release. Brad lay still and heavy as Colin continued to thrust, driven on by Ryan’s continued thrusting into him. He bit down into Brad’s shoulder as his body quivered with exertion and desire. Ryan’s eyes rolled back and he whispered Colin’s name over and over as his orgasm washed him away, his final thrust sending Colin over the edge into sweet oblivion. We lay together, four bodies tangled into a web of arms and legs, unsure of where one person ended and the next began. Brad’s head pillowed on my breast, his warm breath almost soothing as I stroked lightly up and down his back. Colin lay facing Brad, a hand resting gently on his waist while the other held Ryan’s hand tightly. Ryan lay behind Colin, holding him in the cradle of his chest, laying soft kisses across his shoulder and neck. Sleep came easily to our spent and sated bodies, with Brad drifting off first. As I fought the heavy curtain of sleep, I could distantly hear Ryan’s whispering voice. “I love you Colin, always.” He whispered so softly that I almost wondered if it was real. I could feel the weight change on the bed as he pulled Colin more tightly back against him. “Always Ryan, always.” Came Colin’s equally soft answer, followed by contented sighs as the two men gave in to sleep. I wondered briefly why Ryan was being so possessive of Colin when Brad was laying in my arms, but then I realized that tomorrow, Brad would be gone and I’d probably never see him again, but he would be back on the road with Colin, alone. The realization left me with both comfort and sadness as I finally allowed sleep to take me. ----- Morning came early, with the impatient scratching of the dogs on the door miraculously only waking me. I eased carefully out of Brad’s arms, smoothing his hair as his head came to rest on the pillow. Unconsciously sensing the loss, he eased into the warm spot I’d left behind, sighing contentedly. I threw on a robe and attended quickly to the dogs, letting them out and getting their breakfast before returning to the bedroom with hopes of a few more hours of sleep. As I eased the door open, I found Brad awake, sitting propped against the pillows, watching over the other men. Brad looked longingly at Colin, his traveling partner and lover, as he lay peacefully sleeping in Ryan’s arms. He knew then, that no matter what he and Colin ever shared, Colin would always belong to Ryan and Ryan would always belong to Colin. Realizing that any hopes of returning to bed were now dashed, I headed for the bathroom, intent on a shower before the boys awoke. Slipping beneath the hot stream, the water washing away the musk of the night’s activities, my mind drifted to the two men in my bed. I was never going to be enough, that I understood, but what I didn’t understand, and probably never would, was their insistence to try to lead separate lives. It just didn’t make sense why they wouldn’t just be together. A hand appeared around the shower curtain, breaking me from my reverie, as Brad’s grinning mug peaked around the cloth. “Can I join you?” he asked, a smirk on his face. “Ya know……I’m not so poor that we have to conserve water!” I quipped, pretending to be insulted. “Well then, let’s do it for the environment.” He countered, stepping into the wide tub. “For the environment.” I agreed, suddenly completely aware of why Brad was joining me. Colin and Ryan must be awake, and must have indicated, in no uncertain terms, that they needed some alone time. Brad stepped into my body and pulled me into a tight embrace, his lips gently meeting mine. “Can I wash your hair?” he asked, almost shyly. “I always used to love doing that. It’s one of the things I miss sometimes about being with a woman.” His naked honestly was refreshing if not a little bit surprising as I turned to allow him access to the long hair that lay slick down my back. “It’ll be okay.” I said as he massaged the shampoo through my hair. “Huh?” he asked, obviously lost in his own world. “Colin. You. It’ll be okay. It’s obvious that Colin loves you, hell, even adores you. You just have to accept certain things. You’ve known these guys a lot longer than I have, but I know that love can make you blind. It can make you forget what you already knew. I have no idea why Colin and Ryan don’t want to be together, but what I do know is that they are both capable of loving more than one person. I have no doubt in my mind that Ryan loves me the best that he can, and although it may not be the same as the way he loves Colin, it’s sweet nonetheless. If you can learn to accept it, I’m sure it will be the same for you.” I finished, noting the beginnings of tears pooling in Brad’s eyes. ----- Ryan and I stood on the front porch, coffee cups in hand, waving goodbye to Brad and Colin as they backed down the driveway. Breakfast had been pleasant and plans had even been made for the couple to visit again in a few months. Standing on the porch, Ryan had embraced Brad genuinely, affectionately telling him to take good care of Colin. Brad had pulled back, looked into Ryan’s eyes and promised to do just that before returning the sentiment and telling Ryan that he had a pretty amazing woman and to take care of her too. Ryan grinned, pulled him back into a hug and then pulled away, stepping back to throw his arm around my shoulder. Ryan and Colin simply smiled at each other and said ‘I’ll see you later’, their true parting sentiments whispered in private in the sanctuary of our bed earlier. Their eyes shone with love and words unspoken as they both began to chuckle softly, obviously more being said than was voiced. Colin and Brad pulled out of the drive and headed down the road, the car shrinking until it disappeared around a bend, driving off into their lives while Ryan and I turned, hand in hand, and returned to the house, to our lives.